kfk
05-05-2006, 12:35 PM
Hi everyone,
I was hoping anyone might have advice. Lately DH and I have been disagreeing about discipline for our almost 19 month old twins. I know we have to be consistent and pick our battles, especially as the boys assert their independence. Unfortunately, I think we have different priorities. This was not really an issue until lately, when the boys were smaller DH mostly followed my lead, and we did some discussion/negotiation when he didn't like or understand my POV.
Recent example: Zac has decided he doesn't want to sit in his booster to eat (we feed the boys in boosters in the kitchen). We have always used the boosters for meals, and mostly for snacks too. I decided to insist on the chair, he refused and then cried/got upset and refused to eat. That night DH decided Zac can just eat on the floor if he wants, though mostly he's wanted to be held. My concerns: this sets a bad example for Jake, and distracts him and me during mealtime; we have no way of closing off the kitchen, so wandering with food becomes an issue (we have already been dealing with this problem with sippies, since I'm trying to enforce the rule that milk sippies stay in the kitchen); and what does this do to my goal of instituting family dinners in the next few months?
What gets me is that this all happened right after our 18 mo. well check where our ped. talked about feeding difficulties at this age and how he and his wife were rather strict, that the boys wouldn't starve, and it has ultimately paid off.
On the other hand, DH continues to lose his temper at the boys for unloading his bookshelves, or banging their wooden toys loudly on the coffee table. My view is: DH should have removed the books long ago, and the banging, while annoying isn't such a big deal, just calmly re-direct the boys and remove the toy being banged.
Anyway, I've told DH we need to sit down and talk about this stuff, and would love some good ideas, and/or books, websites, etc. that I can check out beforehand.
I was hoping anyone might have advice. Lately DH and I have been disagreeing about discipline for our almost 19 month old twins. I know we have to be consistent and pick our battles, especially as the boys assert their independence. Unfortunately, I think we have different priorities. This was not really an issue until lately, when the boys were smaller DH mostly followed my lead, and we did some discussion/negotiation when he didn't like or understand my POV.
Recent example: Zac has decided he doesn't want to sit in his booster to eat (we feed the boys in boosters in the kitchen). We have always used the boosters for meals, and mostly for snacks too. I decided to insist on the chair, he refused and then cried/got upset and refused to eat. That night DH decided Zac can just eat on the floor if he wants, though mostly he's wanted to be held. My concerns: this sets a bad example for Jake, and distracts him and me during mealtime; we have no way of closing off the kitchen, so wandering with food becomes an issue (we have already been dealing with this problem with sippies, since I'm trying to enforce the rule that milk sippies stay in the kitchen); and what does this do to my goal of instituting family dinners in the next few months?
What gets me is that this all happened right after our 18 mo. well check where our ped. talked about feeding difficulties at this age and how he and his wife were rather strict, that the boys wouldn't starve, and it has ultimately paid off.
On the other hand, DH continues to lose his temper at the boys for unloading his bookshelves, or banging their wooden toys loudly on the coffee table. My view is: DH should have removed the books long ago, and the banging, while annoying isn't such a big deal, just calmly re-direct the boys and remove the toy being banged.
Anyway, I've told DH we need to sit down and talk about this stuff, and would love some good ideas, and/or books, websites, etc. that I can check out beforehand.