Encourage Lovey??

[niccig]

DS's lovey is my hair. He plays with it when he gets his bottle, before bedtime, anytime I am holding him and when he is upset. He will caress other people's hair too - DH, babysitter, other children at the park, shoe sales assistant etc, but my hair is his favourite. We think it's because he still doesn't have any hair of his own. I'm thinking of directing his soothing needs to a lovey. He can still have my hair too, but I can't always be there. Any pros, cons, advice, or should I just leave DS be with his hair fetish?

Thanks, Nicci

[TonFirst]

I don't see any reason not to encourage a lovey.

Adam has one of those little bear-head-blanket things - it's about the size of a bandanna and it's super soft - and it's great. Bear mainly stays in his bed, but he also comes with us anywhere stressful or where he might sleep, like the pediatrician's office or on a long plane flight. I think it also makes a big difference when we travel because no matter what bed he's in, his bear is there and that's familiar to him.

[BeachBum]

Why not?
We do a lovey too. I wear it under my shirt around the house so it smells like me.

[annasmom]

I don't see any harm in trying to introduce a lovey. Like you said, you cannot always be there, so if you can find something else to soothe him, why not? Both of my dc have their loveys and they are pretty good about leaving them in the cribs/bed unless they *really* need them.

I think our *best* lovey however is my dd's cloth diaper(s). She calls it her snuggle diaper, and it is great because every morning I take her old one and throw it in the laundry. When she goes down for a nap, I just hand her a clean one. It is generic, so I am not afraid of losing it. Unfortunately for me she also has an Elmo doll that she sleeps with, and if we lost that little red wonder we would be in BIG trouble!

[mudder17]

How about getting him a soft doll with hair that looks kind of like "real" hair? I see nothing wrong with encouraging a lovey and it would be very helpful for him to have an object he could carry with him when you're not there.


Eileen

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[SeekerMage]

I think a lovey is a good idea. My sil had this problem too and I made her one that she said was perfect. It was flannel on one side and satin on the other...so kinda both soft smoothe sides like hair. She draped it over her shoulder while she nursed and said ti worked well. HTHs

[cmdunn1972]

I agree with PPs that, no matter what the circumstances, it's a great idea to encourage a lovey. DS wasn't showing any strange "fetishes", but we started him on an attachment to his lovey (a stuffed dog), and he's slept well ever since.

[niccig]

I bought DS a small soft silky blanket that also has a stuffed animal. He seemed to like it, but also wanted to play with my hair as he drank his bottle. I'll keep it with us for the next couple of weeks, and hopefully he'll become attached to it, or to one of his other toys.
Thanks everyone,
Nicci

[maestramommy]

Oh yeah! Dora has a little lambie-head blankets. It took a while for her to get the idea, but now she hugs it for all her naps and bedtime. It's a huge relief to have something tangible that can comfort her AND portable to take on trips and stuff.

[AngelaS]

My friend's ds loves her hair too. She found a stuffed critter with longer 'hair' that he will sleep with or if all else fails....a Barbie works for him too. ROTFL!

[jennifer_r]

DD1 used to grab for my hear when she was upset. We found a skunk stuffed animal with a tail like a skunk meaining that it had long hair not just plush(Douglas brand) and the gymboree clown which has red yarn hair. She LOVED them almost immediately and would stroke their hair. She now has a different lovey - actually two identical teddy bears, one a bit more worn than the other.

I would try to find a lovey with "hair". BTW, a lovey can be anything; for us, it's stuffed animals, for others it's those blankie/stuffed animal combos, others, just blankies, and others, diapers. My DD1 likes anything soft and I've even seen her cuddle up with a sock while sucking her thumb.

Jennifer

Mom to:
Christopher 12/29/89
Adelaide 8/23/04
Bronwyn 11/9/05

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[niccig]

I think I'll look for something with hair. It's only been 1 day, but DS got annoyed with the blanket/toy lovey and would push it away from him, probably because it was in the way of getting to my hair, and last night he threw it and 2 other stuffed toys he normally sleeps with, out of the crib. But he does that when he protests about sleeping. He may get attached to the blanket lovey, but it wouldn't hurt to have something else too. Off to Around the house forum to ask for a toy with "hair".

Nicci