How often does your DH talk to his mom or dad?

[kaylinsmommy2]

Is there a difference between you and your DH? If so, do you think it's a gender difference or a relationship difference?

My DH talkes to his mom at least twice a week. He has a standing phone call with her Sun evenings (he initiates the call) and then she calls all the time, too. I think it's strange because my mom and I talk only a couple of times a month. I guess we email occasionally.

When I first left for college, my dad called and left me a short message on my answering machine asking me to call him. At the end of it, he left our home phone number... in case I forgot it in the 3 weeks I had been gone...

[denna]

Okay Im confused on what to vote. My DH also has a standing ritual to talk to his Dad every Sunday. So he talks to his dad at least once a week (sometimes more), BUT my MIL has been calling so much since my DH and I found out we were pregnant. It just shocking because they were never really close his whole life now she calls several times a week. Maybe I'll just average and vote for 2 or something.....

[essnce629]

It seems like my boyfriend talks to his parents every single day when I'm with him, but in reality it's probably about 3 times a week. My bf and his mom are both really big hockey fans so whenever there's a game on they usually talk to each other several times throughout the game to discuss what's going on! I could care less about hockey which is why he doesn't talk to me about it :). My bf is in Los Angeles and his parents live in Connecticut. When I was in college in Los Angeles and my mom was here in San Diego, I'd talk to her every day. We're moving to Virginia in December and I already know that I'll be calling my mom at least once a day!

***Latia
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Conner 8/19/03 (homebirthed water baby)
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[slknight]

I would guess that it averages about 2x a week. More importantly than that though, DH and DS visit DH's parents once a week. DH is a SAHD, so they go down there (about 50 miles) and spend the day every week. I think it's great that DS gets to spend so much time with his grandparents, especially since FIL is ill and probably won't be with us too much longer. DH was going to go back to grad school in the fall, but is deferring partially because it would mean giving up these weekly visits.

[elliput]

DH talks to his parents maybe once or twice every two months. There have been times where we have talked several times in one week, but that is rare. My SIL on the other hand talks to them every Monday. Oh, and the IL's are not e-mail type people at all (but do own a computer). DH talks to SIL maybe twice a year. They just aren't big talkers either.

[jd11365]

I talk to my mom almost every day. DH, every month...or so. He doesn't get why I talk to my mom so much. I guess it's a girl thing?

[jvorhis]

My DH talks to his mom maybe twice a week on the phone but sees her at least 3 times a week when he drops Emma off there. They have always been close. I am close with my parents also and talk to them a lot in a week.

[kedss]

I think it depends on the relationships and the distance. My DH will talk to his parents and twin brother a few times a day. We are in VA and they are in CA. I will talk to my mom who lives 45 minutes away maybe once a week, if that much. DH is definitely closer to his family than I am to mine.

[cmdunn1972]

When he's not traveling overseas for a business trip, DH calls his parents about every other day. However, his work requires 30% travel, so he probably doesn't call or see them as often as he'd like!

Kudos to him for calling them when he's out of the country. He's very close to his family. :)

[bcky2]

my mil never calls. she doesnt even call on holidays or the boys birthdays. dh calls her once in a while. she doesnt even answer emails that i send her!! she has only seen my older ds 3 times i think and not for a long period, only like an hour each time. and my younger ds she has only seen once for a few hours. ok i better stop as im sure you can see this is a sore spot for me.

[boolady]

My DH talks to his dad about twice a month, on average. I wish it was more, but they're just not very close. My MIL passed away 2 1/2 years ago, and DH had always been much closer to her. I had hoped he would become closer with his dad, but it just didn't happen. I don't blame him, because my FIL is NOT an easy person to get along with, and even though we're 20 minutes away, never ever calls us. If DH doesn't call him for a while, FIL always wants to know why he hasn't heard from us, but he would never pick up the phone and call our house. I talk to my mom, who is about 50 minutes away almost every day (actually, now that she's semi-retired, more than that if she's bored), and I guess it just is the difference between men and women. Now that we have a baby coming, I'd like to think things will change a bit, but honestly don't believe that they will.

[cmdunn1972]

My parents and I were like that. Before DS, my parents and I talked once per week. Now that DS is here, we talk daily. Funny how having kids changes things, especially when your DC is their only grandchild! :)

[KimberleyDawn]

DH tries to have more contact with his parents but they just aren't interested. Dh tries calling once a week sometimes he catches them and sometimes he gets the machine (which means no return call). DH actually said to his parents that he wants to set something up where we get together on a regular basis and they said they would look at their work schedules and get back to us....that was 1 year ago. DH brought this up again last month and his parents said that they don't live their lives by a schedule so DH is pretty much done trying to set up dates with them. DH will never give up on calling them though so I give him credit for that.
Oh and they live about 25 minutes from us.

[aguinn]

DH and I work with his parents (well, his dad is retired now, but still owns the family business), so we see them every weekday. Depending on the week and how things are going at work, one of us (usually DH) talks to his mom at least two nights a week, too. It gets really old around various holidays (Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day) when we are expected to then spend a lot of time with them on weekends and vacation, too. They are not easy people to be around even if we didn't work together, but we do it for our DS's - the boys should not be deprived of their grandparents simply because DH and I are sick of seeing them!

;)amy
momma to DS#1 "Big Brother" (BB) and, finally, DS#2 "Little Brother" (LB)

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"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ Neil Postman

[Piglet]

That's a tough one for us - MIL comes to our house every morning to get DS1 to school. When DH left home before she came, he would never see her in the morning, but now he sticks around a bit later and sees her. We also get together with our families every Saturday, but his family is really not into talking on the phone. If it were on the phone, I would have to vote 1-2 a month, but we actually see eachother face to face at least once a week and now, daily.

[Queensgirl]

Yes, there's a difference between our relationships with our parents.
And it's not a gender difference. My DH is one of the most affectionate people I know and loves the concept of "family" and the family dynamic. His parents, on the other hand, are complete opposites. If he doesn't initiate a phone call, then we'd never hear from them. Two years after we married they moved out of state and that was it. We haven't seen them in over a year and it'll probably be awhile before we do. At first I thought it was because they didn't approve of our relationship (interracial relationship-I'm caucasian, DH is African-American), but after 7 years I realized, it's just the way they are. He hasn't spoken to them in several months.

My family is the complete opposite. My mom is a widow & we're very inter-dependent.
Both my brother and I speak to her twice a day (he calls her every evening) and our grandmother too.

So I really think it's a "relationship difference" and what is considered norm for your family.
I also think it's cultural. DH's family is West Indian and very "hands-off", while mine is Latin and very involved.

[MarisaSF]

>When I first left for college, my dad called and left me a
>short message on my answering machine asking me to call him.
>At the end of it, he left our home phone number... in case I
>forgot it in the 3 weeks I had been gone...

LOL! My dad does this too... with all of this children! Sometimes he says his last name too. :P He's got a lot of "absent-minded professor" in him.

I didn't vote. We live with DH's parents, so we talk every day now. I'd say 1x/week when not living with them.

[kboyle]

my FIL passed away 2 yrs ago, but before that he talked to him everyday, DH works in his parents family Landscaping business...which means he talks to him mother EVERY day!

[o_mom]

When she is speaking to us or not speaking to us? ;-)

When we are on speaking terms, probably once a month or every other month. When we are on her bad side, it can be 6 months or more.

[kijip]

J never sees his dad. The last time was almost 1 year. Before that it it was about 1 time per 1-2 years. The only time they talked was in person so that was it for contact. J has decided that for now he is not going to see them again.

He sees his mom 2-3 times a year I guess and they talk maybe 1 time per month. It is hard to talk to her because she always wants him to call/see his dad and even though she has divorced him she has been in denial for a long time about what J's dad do his family. It is hard to see her because she has remarried and the new husband is a jerk on wheels.

[kijip]

Duplicate

[buddyleebaby]

Dh speaks to his mom approximately once every two weeks. Sometimes he calls her and sometimes she calls him. This has only been the case since dd was born. Before that, they would go for a month (or two or three) without speaking, although we live fairly close.
I speak to my mom everyday, or at least every other day, and I usually see her twice a week.
I don't think it is a gender thing. I think it is because my dh was raised by his grandparents and his relationship with his mom has always been somewhat strained.

[californiagirl]

It's partly a distance difference -- my father lives 15 minutes away, and his parents live in Papua New Guinea, where a good phone rate is $2 a minute. But it's also a relationship difference; we'd be happy to be closer to my father, and he'd get further away from his parents if it weren't for the fact that to make a significant difference he'd have to leave the planet. We speak to them once every month or so.

When my father and I lived on opposite sides of the planet we hardly ever called each other, but we emailed a lot and he sent me a postcard every day. (I sent him a batch of postcards once a week.) Yes, I was a fully grown adult who'd been living by myself, and on the far side of the US, for years.

[jayali]

One of the things that I fell in love with about my husband was the fact that he spoke to his parents every day. My mom and I were extremely close and I spoke to her at least once a day, so it was important for me to marry someone who had a close relationship with his parents also.

That said, I also ended up in therapy for three years because of my separation issues with my mother - at my husbands request!

Anyway, his Dad lives alone now so he speaks to him daily to "check in"!

[saschalicks]

My DH's parents are divorced so he speaks to each of them 1-3 times a week. I speak to my parents once a day at least (more my mom then my dad, but I speak to both). My DH talks ty MY parents at least 3-5 times a week. Guess who's parents we like more?

[dr mom]

DH talks to his parents maybe once a month - they don't particularly care for me, so that's put a strain on his relationship with them. We've been married five years now and produced a grandchild, so I'm hoping they'll get over it already and accept that they're stuck with me for a DIL, at least for DH's sake. So for now, there isn't a lot of social chitchat. (Not that *I* mind not having to talk to the IL's, but I wish DH had a better relationship with them)