What do you call your MIL?

[Mommy_Again]

Both of my SILs (DH's brother's wives) call DH's mom "mom." I just can't do it - she is not my mom! She is everything my mom is not (or rather, my mom is everything she is not). We aren't that close and she is not a very warm and cuddly person - not a bad person, but they are a self-professed "non-Hallmark family." We only see each other a few times a year, and she rarely calls me. Every time I hear a SIL call her "mom" I feel a twinge of guilt, but I just don't think I could bring myself to do it. I usually address her by her first name, and since DS has been born I call her Grandma a lot.

Curious how it works in other families.

[tarahsolazy]

I've always called them by their first names. That's seemed to work just fine.

[MarisaSF]

I call MIL by her first name, with the utmost respect. This woman is the greatest (let me live with them for a year among just being a wonderful human being). DD calls her by her first name too, though we are trying to work in the "Grandma" bit and she will be "Grandma <first name>. :P

ETA: I knew (and was fairly close to) DH's parents before we were engaged or married, so I never would have thought to call them Mom and Dad then. I don't think it would be weird to call them Mom and Dad though even though I already have one of each. I think my own parents would feel a bit displaced if I did that though. My mom called my father's parents Mother and Dad, but I'm not sure whose choice that was. Good question, Ashley! Now I'm curious about my own parents.

[mudder17]

I asked my MIL what to ask her and she said I could call her by her first name or by Mom, whichever was more comfortable for me. I decided to call her "Mom" and I'm glad I did. I know it made her very happy and I was sort of the daughter she never had (DH is an only). Anyway, I was able to easily make the transition because she was such a wonderful person and we became really good friends. I had a harder time getting used to calling my FIL "Dad" but I've gotten used to that as well. I thought it would be funny if I called her Mom but called him by his first name, although I don't think he would have cared either way.


Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_-6_Kaya+is.png
Kaya will be a sister, ~11/14/06!

[Wife_and_mommy]

I call her "Mom". She, too, told me to call her Mom or _first name_ and I chose Mom. We're family and I'd feel strange calling her _fn_.

SIL calls them by _fn_.




Also, I can't believe all the ladies whose IL's basically said "call me Mom, or else". Wow........



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[babystuffbuff]

Oy. I wish I could figure this one out! Mostly "your mom" (to DH) at the moment. :P None of DH's sibling's spouses call her by her first name. But they have the advantage of having children, so they usually call her the name she chose for her grandchildren to call her.

I couldn't call her mom - I've already got a mom, and most days one mom is enough! But I feel kind of funny calling her by her first name, since none of her other sons- and daughters-in-law do. Even when I talk to my SIL (DH's brother's wife), we usually refer to her as "their mom" (meaning DH and BIL). It's a mess!

Sarah

Auntie to my seven munchkins

[ribbit1019]

I was told to call MIL and FIL, mom and dad. And corrected several times when I didn't. I hate it, they aren't my mom and dad, I totally understand where you are coming from.

DH and my parents are closer than I am with IL's, he calls them by their first names. He was told to choose what he felt comfortable with...

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040609/3/4/0/-5/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[buddyleebaby]

I call my MIL by her first name. My dh calls my parents "mom and dad".When we were dating he referred to my mom as "Mrs.------", to which she replied:
"Mrs.------ is my mother in law. You may call me (first name) or you may call me mom, but please don't call me Mrs.------!"
So my dh started calling her mom but still called my dad Mr.------. then one day my dad said to my mom "He calls you 'mom' but he still calls me Mr.------. Why doesn't he want to call me dad?"
So my mom told my dh and they have been mom and dad ever since. ; )

[kaylinsmommy2]

After DH and I got married, MIL told me, "oh, you don't have to call me mom if you're not comfortable. You could just keep calling me Mrs. _last name_."

WTF? x(

But I call her mom. It's weird, but not bad at all.

Caroline
mommy to Kaylin 6/5/04

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/bunbunadb20040605_-9_Kaylin+is+now.png[/img][/url]

[Roleysmom]

I wish that I could call my ILs by their first names. I was admonished once in public by my FIL to call him dad, so that's what I reluctantly do. Most of the time I don't call them anything or I call them Grandma and Grandpa, which if I were them, I would hate. I'm seriously thinking of asking them to let me call them by their first names as a 40th birthday present.

If I'm an IL some day, I'll make sure that Roley's partner knows that he or she can call me whatever feels the most comfortable and I won't have any hard feelings.

Paula
Mom to Roley Julia, January '02

[jbowman]

I call MIL Mrs. ______, and FIL Mr. ________. It's pretty comical, seeing as how DH calls my parents by their first names. That said, I adore my ILs and have always gotten along very well with them.

DH and I went to high school together--a time when almost everyone calls their friends' parents Mr. _______ and Mrs. _______, so perhaps that's why I've never called them anything else. Of course high school was a LONG time ago and I am married to their son, LOL.

ETA: I can't imagine calling someone mom who isn't my mother.

[chiqanita]

By her first name or 'grandma' (but only when I have DS in my arms).

[maestramommy]

I call MIL Mom, partly because it's a cultural thing. But she makes it easy because she's an awesome MIL.

[bubbaray]

I try to avoid calling her anything. Usually its "your step-mom" when I'm talking to DH. I can't think of any time I've actually called her anything.

Ditto for DH's now deceased mother. I never knew what to call her so I just never called her anything (at least to her face! To say things were frosty between us would be an understatement).

I would never in a million years call step-MIL "mom".


Melissa

Maya Papaya!
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040411/3/4/1/-8/.png[/img][/url]

[boys2enough]

I am truly surprised by the responses here. Coming from a different culture (Chinese), I always assumed that Americans are not into this calling the ILs mom and dad thing. Was I wrong then. MIL actually didn't want me to call her MOM. She told me to just call her by her FN. I was all ready to call her mom, to be honest. Like one of the PPs, I am blessed with an awesome MIL and I am the dd that she never has. :) I guess another reason why I am willing to call her mom (I actually slip it in our conversation from time to time now, calling her MOM, just to be funny) is because I call my own mom in Chinese, which is "Ma", so calling someone else "mom" does not feel as strange.

DH on the other hand calls my parents "Ba" and "Ma" since it is the norm in Chinese culture to call your ILs mom and dad, in Chinese of course. I think in the beginning my parents actually weren't quite used to it when this tall pale blond American man suddenly became their "son." LOL

Cheers, Lin
Mom to 2 wild boys
D 3/98
G 11/02

http://smilies.vidahost.com/kao/chika/chirol_buha.gif

I am celebrating: just passed my "1000 posts" mark. Yipee!

[boys2enough]

>I wish that I could call my ILs by their first names. I was
>admonished once in public by my FIL to call him dad, so that's
>what I reluctantly do. Most of the time I don't call them
>anything or I call them Grandma and Grandpa, which if I were
>them, I would hate. I'm seriously thinking of asking them to
>let me call them by their first names as a 40th birthday
>present.
>
>If I'm an IL some day, I'll make sure that Roley's partner
>knows that he or she can call me whatever feels the most
>comfortable and I won't have any hard feelings.
>
>Paula
>Mom to Roley Julia, January '02

Paula,

Wow. This is such a new revelation to me. Is your FIL from the "old country"? (I mean any "old country," be it Italy, Ireland, etc) Is this the norm in the old country that's why he insisted? Still, {{{hugs}}}

Cheers, Lin
Mom to 2 wild boys
D 3/98
G 11/02

http://smilies.vidahost.com/kao/chika/chirol_buha.gif

I am celebrating: just passed my "1000 posts" mark. Yipee!

[psophia17]

I call her "Mom" when I'm talking to DH, "Grandma" when I'm talking to DS, and by her first name when I'm talking to her.

But I also have a healthy array of nicknames for her - g-money, Mama Lastname, and a few others.

I think in a few years, I may transition to calling her Mom - I am the DD she never had, and we get along great (when she's not stuffing DS full of cookies and candy, that is). I call my Mom a variety of names, madre, mummsy, mumma, motherdear, and the list goes on, so I feel okay with this.

DH doesn't call my parents anything - they just talk to each other...

[ctmom]

To her face or when she isn't around?!?! I probably can't type some of the names I call her when I speak about her...Some of my sil/bil call her Mom but some don't (dh is one of 6). I call her Mrs. Last Name. My one sil that I am very close with joke with each other, I call her "your mil" when we are talking about her. We are both married to her sons. On more that one occassion she told me I can call her Mom or First Name but I don't.

Mary
dd#1 2/01
dd#2 12/03

[bchafin]

I'm with you. I have a list of names to call her that can't be typed. Since DS was born our relationship has gone downhill. I called her FN ever since I met DH and now that we haven't spoken in 2 years I don't call her anything except your mother to DH. My DS won't know his paternal grandmother exists, and if he does, he will call her FN. She is no grandmother to him. Sorry, more info than you needed.

Barb

[JBaxter]

I call my MIL by her first name. I just cant call her mom -- I have one of those.

[elliput]

Both DH and I use first names with each other's parents and Mom/Dad with our own. I don't think either set of parents has specifically asked to be referred to solely as Mom/Dad,and as wonderful as my IL's are, I cannot ever seeing myself calling them Mom/Dad. Both sets of parents get called Grandma/pa.

[proggoddess]

I call my FIL "Pa" because that is what his name is to DD. (She just couldn't get Granpa to come out all at once.) Before DD, he was Dad, but that was confusing when both sets of parents were over for dinner, etc.

My parents used to be Ma (must be the Chinese thing!) and Dad, but now I usually refer to them as Amah and Lolo (Chinese and Filipino titles for grandparents), even if I am just talking to them by myself. I think of it as a title of respect for their new role.

My DH would call my father "Sir" and ... actually *nothing* for my mother. My mom is introverted and would usually not talk to DH directly unless it was "Please pass the salt" or something similar. But now he calls them Amah and Lolo. Like Boys2enough, my parents are still just warming up to DH (after 7 years of dating and 4 years of marriage)! Hee hee.

[DebbieJ]

I call my MIL "mom" and my FIL by his first name. They are divorced and we see and talked to MIL much more often. FIL hasn't even met his 2.5 yo grandson, so he deserves no title of respect from me.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[BeachBaby]

I'm another one who cannot imagine calling my MIL "mom". Although we aren't extremely close, she is a really nice woman and I like her a lot. It's just that my mom and I are really close and I feel like calling someone else "mom" would somehow take away from that. JMO. Anyway, I call both her and my FIL by their FN. My husband calls my parents by their FNs, too.

[cbm]

By first name.

All the granchildren call her by first name. Her choice.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[lindauer72101]

I call my in laws by their first names. I too feel that I have parents so why do I need a second mom. My MIL/FIL moved to be close to us last year and it has been a very rocky year. (She thinks that she is the only person that can watch my DD and tends to take over our lives). So, I have so not so nice names behind closed doors for her as well.

Angela

Chelsie Lea 7/9/2004
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040709/3/0/1/+10/.png
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif

[icunurse]

Hmmm....well, honestly, since i'm not comfortable calling her "Mom" or by her first name, I tend to avoid calling her anything to her face. If cornered, I will call her Mom, but it hasn't happened more than a couple of times. I guess using "Hey!" doesn't count? (as in "Hey, how are you?") ;) I was taught growing up that you don't call elders by their first names as a sign of respect and I guess that is stuck inside my head. Even when I hear others refer to their IL's by their first names, I kinda cringe a bit. And I just don't feel touchy-feely enough to call her Mom comfortably and regularly. So, I try and dump the pressure on DS by asking him to go and get his Grandma.

Traci
~Connor's Mom 02/2004~
Agency paperwork completed - waiting (and waiting) for another baby!

[ajmom]

I call her by her first name. Occasionally I will call her Nana, like the grandchildren do.

[s_gosney]

DH and I both call each other's parents by their firstnames. I don't think anyone's ever mentioned us calling them anything else, but there's no way I'd feel comfortable doing that anyway. To say that I don't get along with FIL is an understatement, and sometimes that tension carries over to MIL.
Poor dd has 3 grandmas, none of whom want to be called grandma firstname, so she can't ever figure out who we're talking about. Oh well. I'm sure she'll come up with her own way to distinguish it soon enough. My mom (the one she sees the most) tends to be "ma" right now, so maybe that'll stick, though I can't see an older child using that.
ETA: the last time SIL was here, I heard her call MIL "mom" and was surprised, but I know that she would never call FIL "dad"

[kakohler]

While I am not married, if I were, I would tend to go with what my father did. While my Mom referred to my paternal grandparents as Grandma and Grandpa, my father called my maternal grandparents Miss firstname and Mr firstname. That way he denoted respect to them by including the title. Maybe it's a southern thing!

[Wife_and_mommy]

I'm not trying to start trouble but am a little curious why one of your reasons is that mil isn't your mom. I think it's similar to when a woman gets married and changes her last name. It seems/feels weird at first but (nak now) my name is LN now and that's just the way it is. I'd do doubletake today if one called me maiden name after yrs of marriage.


http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Jacksonvol]

I call the in-laws Miss First name and Mr. First name. Such a handy southern thing. My MIL still calls her MIL Mrs. Lastname. (she and FIL have been married at least 35 years!) While my MIL is a sweet person and we get along well, she is not my mother and I don't feel comfortable calling her "mom."

Interestingly, my mother calls her MIL, "mom", but called her mother "Mother." She called her father "Daddy", but called FIL "Pop."

Oh well, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

[hez]

I call her by her first name, or Grandma Sxxxx. Same with my FIL-- his first name or Pops (what he wants to be called by the grandkids).

She's not my mom, we're not that close. I'd be more comfortable calling FIL "Dad" but need to treat them equally, I think.

[Tracey]

I call my husband's parents by their first names. We rarely see his Dad (divorced when he was young), but I actually like the guy. His Mom, while not evil, is a PITA and was a crappy Mom to DH in my opinion. I'm DARN sure not going to call her Mom.

All of my Mom's son-in-laws call her "Mom Smith" (not Smith, but our maiden name) and my Dad who's first name is John, "Bud". It's kind of an inside joke because my Dad can't ever remember anybody's name and will call them "Buddy", so they all make fun of him about that and started calling him Bud.

[bostonsmama]

I address all the letters and cards to them, in which they are "Mom and Pop," but in my heart it's not me who is calling them that (that' what DH calls them). I've never clicked with the whole someone-who-is-not-my-mother-gets-called-mom thing. So, when we talk on the phone, I call my dear MIL "Ma Glorie" since her name is Gloria and she's a "Ma" to me and very affectionate and sweet. Pete's dad is just "Nick," his first name.

Larissa

Baseline appt July 25th! Tentative retrieval ~Aug 10th, transfer ~8/13 or 15

Proud Aunt to Jack Dorian, born to my bro & SIL 3/06
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/32719.jpg

[amp]

I would NEVER call my MIL "Mom", because she's really been an enemy of mine. I don't call her anything most of the time. When she's not around I do call her something I shouldn't print here. And when she's around, we rarely speak, but when I must, I call her by her first name.

[JulieL]

Well I'm not exactly sure how the other feel but this is how I feel:

I never grew up with a real mom, my dad married his current wife while I was in high school, and while I lived with her for 2 years I don't/didn't ever see her a "mom" to me. I see her as a friend. So I call her by first name, and address her as my step-mom. I don't have a mother/daughter relationship with her. I see that as a loss, but calling someone mom to me would mean a whole ball of things and including with that would include a whole ball of emotions. How can someone be mom, if she was/has never been that role for you. My MIL, I call by first name as well. That may be where others are coming from, while others may just seeing it as a way to say you're family.

[sbjf]

I call my mother in law and father in law by their first names. It was weird at first, and for a while I didn't call them anything, but then I decided to just go for it and now it's pretty comfortable. If they would have asked me to call them mom and dad I think I would have tried it, but when we got engaged they asked me to call them by their first names instead of Mr. and Mrs. So and So, and I don't recall them ever saying anything after that, so I figure this is what they like.

My sil (dh's brother's wife) mainly calls them by their first names as well (and refers to them that way), but once I heard her call her mom. I would rather stick to one way or the other than flip flopping though so I have never called them mom/dad. I would have liked to though, I really like them, and I grew up with my mom calling my dad's parents 'mom' and 'dad', it just seems more family friendly. But, I like my in laws very much, that has a lot to do with it.

You should have done a poll! :-)

[boys2enough]

I don't know why I found this topic so interesting. I think it has to do with culture, the way you are brought up, etc. To me, personally it is both cultural and lingustic. In my mind, calling MIL "mom" in English does not make her my own mother, whom I address in Chinese. Does this make any sense at all? Also, I would have had no problem calling MIL mom in Chinese if she were Chinese. That's how things are in the culture. In fact, a woman is supposed to see her husband's family as her own once married. Her own family is to become secondary in terms of fulfilling obligations etc. (Yeah, I know, I know...) My mom was absolutely horrified when she found out that I was calling my ILs by their first names. Such disrespect! LOL. She might have also taken that as a sign that they didn't really accept me into their family. I am sure even until now, our 10th anniversary this year, she and my dad are still expecting me to show up at the door suitcases in hand. Sigh.

Cheers, Lin
Mom to 2 wild boys
D 3/98
G 11/02

http://smilies.vidahost.com/kao/chika/chirol_buha.gif

I am celebrating: just passed my "1000 posts" mark. Yipee!

[KBecks]

I call my MIL by her first name, and I love hear dearly.
I also call her "grandma" for DS.

For the mother's day cards to her, we addressed them "Mom" and "Grandma", and it confused me after writing them out because to me, mom is still MY mom. :) But I managed not to get the cards all mixed up.

[megs4413]

i call her mrs.w""""""! DH and I started dating at 14 and so that was appropriate then and they've never corrected me even though i'm Mrs. W"""""" now! Horrbile woman!

[tina-t]

I have always called my mil, "mom". However, after my own mom died last year, I was talking to my mil's sister and she asked how my mom was doing. She knew that my own mom had died and I looked confused. Then she clarified that she was asking about my mil (her sister). Since then, I feel funny thinking of my mil as "mom". First thing that comes to mind now is that she is not my mom and my own mom is dead and nobody can replace her.

I don't see and talk to my mil often as they live in another country. They just came in to the US a few days ago and are with my sil right now. They will be visiting and I don't know if i can still call her "mom" right now. I think she might get offended if i call her by her first name because we just don't do that in our culture.

[aguinn]

I call her by her first name. We work together, so we see each other almost every day of the week. We have a mutual respect for each other, but she is not "warm and cuddly", either.

FWIW, I call my FIL by his first name, too. And I really can't stand him, so he's lucky I haven't gotten more creative.

;)amy
momma to DS#1 "Big Brother" (BB) and, finally, DS#2 "Little Brother" (LB)

http://b3.lilypie.com/Eygrm4/.png[/img][/url]
http://b1.lilypie.com/ur0Am4/.png[/img][/url]

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ Neil Postman

[wencit]

Interesting topic.

I call my ILs Mr. or Mrs. Lastname. Even though they are now family, they are not my parents, so I can't bring myself to call them mom and dad. I guess I kind of think of "mom" and "dad" as titles of honor to the people who raised me, fed me, clothed me, and put up with me for 31 years. Just my opinion.

ETA: In my culture, it is also considered disrespectful to call adults by their first name, so that was out of the question. Mr. and Mrs. Lastname was pretty much the default choice for me.

[kijip]

To her face? ;)

Really, I call her by her first name. No way, no how will I ever call her "Mom". Ewww.

[Sillygirl]

My ILs are Korean, and I am not. So I call them "Mother" and "Dad" in horribly accented Korean. They like the closeness that implies, but there's no conflict for me, since those words aren't ever used for my own parents. Not a solution that most could use, maybe, but it's been a great solution for us.

[lizajane]

my MIL is not my mom. she is janice. so i call her janice.

my mother is not my DH's mom. she is ellen. so he calls her ellen.

[brittone2]

Another one here wondering whether you want the names I say under my breath or to them?? ;) Although, we aren't on speaking terms since Christmas, so nothing for now :P

I called them Mr. and Mrs. Lastname for a long time. Then I progressed to first names, but only when I had to...I usually just avoided it somehow ;)

FWIW, DH calls his own father by his first name, and pretty much always has. He tried "dad" for a while growing up and his father asked him to return to using his first name. DH has an older half sister that referred to her step father (DH's dad) by his first name, so he grew up just repeating what she called him, and his dad for whatever reason preferred that.

My parents tend to be the people that *everyone* calls mom and dad...my friends, my SILs, my ex SIL, and lots of other people.

I can't imagine me ever calling MIL "mom" and even when we got along just fine, I think she would have thought it was kind of odd, so it was a non issue.

[jeminaal]

When I married my DH, I became a part of his family, so I call my MIL what he calls her...."Mom." That's who she is to him, so that's who she is to me. He does the same with my mom.

When we got married, my dad made a speech at our reception and ended it with the following statement: "...we can never accept you as our son-in-law...(pause for effect)...we can only accept you as our son."

Guess we're in the minority here.


Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[lisams]

I use her first name. Calling her mom seems odd, like
I'm cheating on my own mom. I love my MIL, and respect her but just can't call her mom, nothing against her it just feels odd. We call her Grandma when we're with DD.

[s7714]

My MIL suggested that I call her Mom when DH and I were first married, but I've never done it. In many ways love her just as much as my own mother, but it just doesn't feel right to call her that. I call her by her first name or as Grandma (first name) when the DDs are around.

Jennifer
Mommy to
DD 3/03
DD 6/05

Calling fellow BBB SoCal moms...we'd love to meet you!
(100 posts & BBB member for 3 months req'd)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/babybargainssocal/

[jennifer_r]

Great post. First, my MIL is AWESOME and she's actually staying with us for a week right now. Despite the fact that I've always really liked her, I felt uncomfortable calling her mom. But, I also didn't feel right calling her mom. The same thing goes for my FIL. So, for years, I avoided calling them anything. To get their attention, I would say "ummm" or "Excuse me" or if I was talking to one of them about their spouse, I would say "your husband/wife" instead of using their first name. This actually became a big debate between me and my husband and something he would tease me about. Well, it became pretty obvious to his parents and his mom had a talk to me about it, telling me to call them by their first names, which is what I do but it is still a bit uncomfortable for me.

Jennifer

Mom to:
Christopher 12/29/89
Adelaide 8/23/04
Bronwyn 11/9/05

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_garnet_6m.gif[/img][/url]

[Queensgirl]

Ooohhh.... I still do the same thing ("ummm" or "excuse me" to get their attention).
I wish they would just address the issue, for my sake (my DH also teases me about that). Anyway, my ILs are cordial, but in no way warm or inviting (not even w/their own kids), so not conducive to being called mom or dad.
Since they moved out of state and barely make an effort to contact us, I haven't called them anything ;-)
I also can never call anyone dad (or pa, which is what I called my father) since my own passed away.
Feels like treason. JMO

[TraciG]

I also was saying grandma Lili for a while since my daughter is born, I just call my MIL by her name, not that I say it much except now grandma want's to be called Lili Joon from her granddaughter (it's Persian ) so that's usually waht you'll hear me say.

NO WAY would I call my MIL Mom !!!!!!!!!!

[ErinMC]

First names here, too. I wasn't sure what to call them, but the first time MIL called our house after we were married, she said "Hi Erin, this is (firstname)". That sealed it for me. :-) DH calls my parents by their first names too.

Erin

Mom to Chase Feb. 04
... and Baby Logan! May 20, 2006

[MelissaTC]

>my Mom a variety of names, madre, mummsy, mumma, motherdear,
>and the list goes on


LOL. I do the same thing to my Mom. Mom, Moms, Mommy, Madre, Mother, Mo, etc..

I call my MIL by her FN. My inlaws wanted me to call them Mom and Dad but um, no. I have a Mom and Dad and they are WAY more than enough. I also don't feel close enough to them to refer to them in such an affectionate way.

[trumansmom]

Hey! That's what I was going to post!

DH's mom passed away years ago. We're not overly fond of his dad's wife. We let the kids call her Grandma, but it makes us gag.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[KrisM]

I call my MIL by her first name. I only see her a couple times a year, so we're not terribly close. She is a wonderful person and a wonderful MIL and I really wish we could see them more often.

My DH calls my parents by their first names. But, he completely avoids names for my grandparents. I think he doesn't know what to do there!

My SIL calls my parents mom and dad and I like that. But, they started dating in 1986, so we're darn close to her!

[stefani]

I call her Mom when my Mom is not around, and _first_name_ when my own Mom is around or when I refer to MIL to other people.

I am Chinese by origin, so it is the tradition to call ILs Mom & Dad. I call my parents "Pop" and "Mom" or "Papah" and "Mami" or "Papi" and "Mami". DS calls me "Mami" but that sounds similar enough to "Mommy" :-) DH by the way is Caucasian.

Anyway, when I refer to MIL to other people or when my Mom is around, it gets too confusing about whose mom I am talking about. Therefore I go back to what I called her before, which was her first name. I used to call her Mrs. ... but she told me to call her First_Name or Mom, and I was not comfortable calling her Mom before I married her son! A number of my relatives are horrified that I called ILs-to-be by first names, LOL! The norm would be the equivalent of "aunt" and "uncle".

Interesting thread.

[denna]

Well luckily I will never have any SILs to feel guilty over what they call my MIL (my DH only has one sister. Honestly I could never call my MIL 'Mom' either. It just doesn't feel right.
And quite honestly I try to avoid calling her by any name at all. Like if my husband gives me the phone I just say 'hey'. I've also been calling her grandma occasionally and in emails I call her by her first name (that's how she signs them).
So honestly I have no idea what to call my MIL but I know I would never feel right calling her 'MOM'.

Great Post by the way!!!

Denna

[JMS]

I call her Mrs. H****. Which is rediculous. But I feel she should tell me not to call her that. I don't think I could ever call her mom.

[starrynight]

I call her "ma". My mother is "mom" to me and always will be. Sometimes I call mil by her first name, usually when sil or bil is around. It pisses them off that I call her "ma" sometimes. I have enough drama with them both that I don't need more.