wwyd........vacation help needed!

[bcky2]

this summer we wanted to start the first year of family vacations now that the boys are a bit older. my great idea ;) was to plan a vacation each year in a different state and to plan it somewhere special(ie: national or state parks, historical site, etc..). this summer i thought that we should stay in our state (il) as it would be less of a drive for the boys. so i picked out a nice state park that has cute cabins. i thought that it would be fun for the boys and there would be alot of running room for them. dh was alll for it untill the phone call from his mom. they were supposed to come and visit this year, they live in alabama and the last time they came out to visit was almost 2 years ago so they have not seen the boys in a long time. well now she told dh that they dont fell like driving up and can we just drive down there!!! ok 16+ hours in a car with a 2 year old and a 4 year old, not my idea of a vacation. so anyway my dh is like well they will pay for our gas one way just so they dont have to drive out. ok, so we could start our stately visits with alabama but um, her house is not a historical landmark and is not located in the middle of a nice state or national park. she would be mad and not see us if we were to stay elsewhere while there and just visit them. dh wants to see his mom i understand that, and i wont even get into how mad i am at her for pulling this stunt, well i may over in the bitching post }( so what should i do? here are the few options that i am thinking about.

1. let dh take older ds as my younger one wont sit in the car that long and that will give me some alone time with my younger ds. only problem there is then we dont get to have a family vac this year. dh wants this option.

2. just suck it up and go with and listen to the boys fight in the car for 16+ hours. then get there and suffer as i am allergic to dogs and smoke and they have 4 inside dogs and they smoke.

3. tell dh that he needs to think of the family first and push him to go on the family vacation to the park in il and listen to him complain the whole time which he will. then tell him to tell his mom that if she wants to see her grandkids she has to come out here.

do anyone have any other ideas that they can think of? i really think that it will be neat to visit a different state every year and when the boys get older maybe do 2 in a year. i really want to do family vacations as we didnt do them when i was growing up. i just need help on what i should do. tia!

[ctmom]

I don't know where you would be driving from, but what about stopping some place in between for a few days? First, it would break up the trip and it also gives you the "family vacation" you want. You won't have a whole week with the inlaws which might not be ideal for them, but so what, you still get to start a tradition you want...

Mary
dd#1 2/01
dd#2 12/03

[cmdunn1972]

Is there some reason you can't research to find specials on flights? Perhaps you can offer to fly them to where you are or send them information about airline specials. That seems like a much simpler solution, considering how difficult it is to drive halfway across the country with two toddlers. (There is no "just" when you're talking about driving 16+ hours with two youngsters at that age. Think Homer's "The Odyssey" sprinkled with a zillion "are we there yets" for good measure!)

[miki]

I'm with Colleen. Unless your ILs have some fear of flying, look into plane tickets to have them join you. Paying for your gas one way just does not make up for the aggravation of the car trip BOTH WAYS! We drive between NY and NC and it's about 11-12 hours including our stops. That with one toddler is almost too much for me and sometimes is way too much for DD. I cannot imagine doing it with 2 small children. I really think that would be miserable, especially with what you have to "look forward to" at your destination.

I know you want to have your family vacation but I think the next best plan after plane tickets is your DH's. Your older kid is old enough for the road trip and old enough to remember a special trip with just dad. You could have a special time of your own with your younger one, maybe make up a little book of all the stuff you do together, and just maybe his 2 year old head will remember his special time with mom.

[bcky2]

as for flying they wont fly out here :( anyways we struggle to gather up money for vacation and i know this sounds bad but i cant even think of spending it on their plane tickets if they would fly. they have money, ALOT more then what we have so that isnt even the issue for them. they just dont want to be hassled with the whole travel thing.

i really think that it will end up with dh and ds going and me and my little one trying to come up with something special to do. i just hate the thought that next year it will be the same issue all over again i am sure. heck we are talking about people who didnt even come out for our wedding!

i give you credit, that has to be a long drive for you to make with your dd. i get a headache when i think about 16+ hours with my boys in the car :)

[bcky2]

i really like that idea. the only thing i keep thinking is most of the time will be spent in the car. that will mean 4 days of driving for us if we dont drive straight thru on the way back :( maybe when they are a bit older, like next year. thanks for the idea :)

[psophia17]

How much vacation time do you have to work with? I like the idea of splitting it up - part of the time driving, then some time off, a visit with the ILs, and then maybe a different route back home with another chunk of time off...yes, it would be a pain, but better than one long haul. Does mapquest.com still have the road trip planner? That might be a way to compromise...

My parents are notoriously difficult when it comes to visiting. They have a dairy farm, and need to be home, which I get, but when we lived 10 minutes from them and had an infant, it was like pulling teeth to try and get them to visit us. We always went there - my Mom claimed it was easier for everyone, but really it was easier for them and no one else.

[bcky2]

we would leave on a sat and my dh needs a day of rest when we get back befor he goes back to work which i totally understand. so we would have to be back by the next sat.

so if we left on sat and got somewhere that afternoon/night, stayed untill tuesday morning and drove the day tuesday to his moms. got there tuesday night, and then we would have to leave by friday morning. so really 4 days in the car and 4 days out of the car. if we had more like 2 weeks it would be worth it to consider.

[aidansmommy]

Could you maybe choose a location that is about halfway between AL and IL? Maybe there is a fun spot or state park somewhere in the middle you'd like to visit where your in-laws could meet you and join you for your family vacation?

[R2sweetboys]

Can you "just" drive down there?! It's one thing if you're talking a few hours but it's selfish of them to ask you to do that with two young kids during your vacation time that you have already planned. I can relate a little though. My ILs haven't been here in over a year and we have driven there(about 15 hours) twice in the past year. We just went in April and MIL was already asking about us coming again this summer. Um,no, I don't think so! At this point, we refuse to go again until they come here. They have lots more $ that we do and they can fly. Plus, our Maine summers are much more tolerable than Virginia's.

The trip can be done with two young busy boys but it is LONG. We broke it up into two days each way so we could rest. For us, it was at least planned ahead and not during vacation time that we already had plans for. Honestly, if I were you, I would not cancel your original plans. It's really nice to have that family time and you've been looking forward to it. It's unfair of your ILs to expect you ALL to make the drive when they're unwilling to do it. Hopefully, you can convince your DH of that so he doesn't pout. :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[bcky2]

wow, i cant believe that you make that trip. that is a long one! i would love to keep to our original plan, but if we do i am sure that dh will pout. he is a good pouter, and has already started because i dont want to do it. i guess what gets me the most as they were going to come here and decided that they just didnt want to have to make that long of a drive, but yet it is ok for us to.

i really hope that it does work out where we get to do some sort of family thing in the end :) at least i know that another mama out there has done it and survived ;)

[bcky2]

that is a really good idea. i will have to see what i can find to go see. hmmmmm, there is kentucky and tennessee and there are some places i would like to visit there...............

[psophia17]

Dollywood!!!!!

I haven't been, but I'd love to go - my best friend and I once planned a road trip from NY to Vegas, and Dollywood was one of our planned stops. We never made it, but it's there :)

[lvales]

I would try for somewhere in Kentucky. You could try TN but then they would want to know why you could drive that far and not make it "one more state"

[bcky2]

lol, good idea. you are right. then again they are just outside mobile alabama so almost in fl. it is the drive thru alabama that seems to take us forever :)

good thinking!

[bcky2]

i can just hear dh now "dollywood? why would i want to go to dollywood"

lol, i should ask him tonight and see what he says. i wouldnt mind going :P

[miki]

I'm sorry you have to put up with this sort of family dynamic. It's really unfair of your ILs to ask you to give up your planned vacation to spend so much time on the road. If your ILs are in a better financial situation and youthink this will be a recurring struggle with them, I'd think about getting your DH to lobby for more than just gas money one way. That's just not right.

As for Petra's suggestion of Dollywood if you are really interested, tell your DH you want to go to Pigeon Forge, TN. That's how they market the area on our local TV stations. Good family fun with no mention of Dolly. You can just happen to find it once you get there.

Good luck with the whole situation. I hope you can find a way to address it now so you don't have to go over it every year.