Playing with the neighbor kids etiquette

[Moneypenny]

I'll preface this by saying we have a somewhat strained relationship with the mom and dad who live next door to us. We're polite, but certainly not close. With that said, their soon-to-be 4 year old daughter, who is often outside unsupervised (mom or dad must be watching out a window) comes over to our yard whenever we are outside with DD. The girl loves to play with the sand and water table and Avery likes her, so we're fine with the fact that she comes over. However, this isn't a formal play date or anything. She just runs around the fence to come over, mom or dad will eventually come looking for her, ask her if she's being good, and then go back inside. My question is, when we go inside we tell her to go back to her yard. Are we reponsible for making sure her mom or dad know she's back in their yard? I feel odd just sending her away and don't want her to wander off completely, but I don't feel like I'm ever formally "in charge" of her, and I don't *want* to be formally in charge of her. I feel like if we act as though we are taking responsibility for her whenever she comes over uninvited that it could be problematic for us down the road (I don't trust that the neighbors wouldn't try to blame us for something). On the other hand, I don't want to ban her from coming over because she likes Avery, and with 5 brothers and sisters I think she really enjoys this quiet time with my polite and friendly DD (and DH and I are much more polite and friendly than her parents are, as well). WWYD in this situation?

It's very odd to me because I can't imagine DD being 3 years old and just running around the neighborhood without me being right there.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]

[Lynnie]

Wow, that's a wierd one. If it were me, I would probably walk her back to her yard, and tell her to go tell her mommy and daddy that she's back, and watch her go to the door, just to make sure. I don't think I'd walk her back up to her door or anything, but I would want to make sure I saw her knocking on or entering her house because I would feel terrible if her parents just assumed she was still at your house and something happened to her. Then, you're not really taking the responsibility, but you'll know for your own peace of mind.

[Moneypenny]

Yes, I think we're going to have to make sure we see her talking to mom or dad after we send her back home. We just have to practically force her to leave our yard, so I fear that our following her to make sure she goes into her house is going to make it more difficult for her to leave. But, we would just die if something happened to her because her parents assumed she was still in our yard. She's very sweet, she just has goofed up folks!

Thanks for the input!
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]

[miki]

I wouldn't assume that her parents are watching her from inside the house. If it were me, when she appeared in my yard, I would ask her to go make sure her mom or dad is ok with her wanting to come over. (I do this with the grade school aged girl who lives next door.) I'm not sure if that tilts the situation to you being more "in charge" of her but I just wouldn't want a situation where her parents really had no idea where she went but she gets into some sort of accident in your yard (not that you wouldn't be mindful of her safety) and they blame you because you "invited" her over without their permission.