WWYD? Throwing a shower and no one RSVP'ed

[Jenn98]

I'm throwing a friend a bridal shower in about a week and a half. I sent the invites out so they would get to people 3.5-4 weeks in advance of the event. I asked them to rsvp by June 1st. As of this morning, not a single person (out of about 30) has rsvp'ed. Not a bridesmaid, not a mother of the bride, not a sister of the groom, not a grandma on either side, not even a friend! It's a total mix of people, so I can't blame it on the fact that maybe this family doesn't do that. What do I do? I feel terrible calling the bride to tell her no one rsvp'ed. And I know people are coming because it was quite an ordeal to pick a date with all the bride's extended family's schedule. I do have the bride's mom's phone number and she offered to help ages ago, so maybe I'll call her to see if she knows anything.

[mommy_someday]

If you have phone numbers of the people invited, I would just call them and ask if they're planning to attend. It's a shame that people don't have the courtesy to pick up the phone for two seconds to let you know one way or the other. You totally shouldn't *have* to call them, but for your own peace of mind (and for knowing how much food/drink to have on hand), I would call.

Sorry they're being so rude. :(

[Jenn98]

No. I don't have anyone's number, just their addresses to mail the invites to. The bride is an old college friend, so I don't know any of her family like I do with my old high school friends.

[cmdunn1972]

In that case, I might call the bride to say that there was a "general problem" with the RSVPs, no big deal, but could she please provide the phone numbers of the guests on the list. (You don't want to stress her with details right off the bat or she may go all Bridezilla on you. ;)) If she persists in asking what the details of the problem is, go ahead and tell her. Maybe she knows something you don't.

HTH! Sorry you're having to deal with this.

[cbm]

Call the bride's mom first to see if she can help you. If she cannot help, then contact the bride as pp said.
How rude of them. I am sorry you are going through all this stress.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[lizajane]

double check the invite to see if there was a misprint. that just doesn't make sense.

[dhano923]

>double check the invite to see if there was a misprint. that
>just doesn't make sense.

I agree -- it's strange that not a single guest RSVPed. If everything looks ok, I'd call the bride's mom and explain the situation and ask for her help.

[Mommy_Again]

people not rsvping is my #1 pet peeve- so rude.

I would try the bride's mom first - it would just stress her out and make her feel bad to know she has such tacky friends!

[DebbieJ]

Wow! Do these people have no manners?

I'd enlist the bride's mom. Don't bother the bride with this.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[kristine_elen]

Tell the bride you need the phone #s and call them and ask if they're coming. People can be so thoughtless.

[chlobo]

Are you suree people got them? Maybe the post office screwed up.

[dules]

I'm feeling a bit suspicous of this too - NO RSVPs, not a single one, makes me wonder if the invitations were received or if they're still sitting in the bottom of a mailbag somewhere.

Good luck, that's a tough one! As long as the bride knows about the shower, though, no harm in calling her mom - maybe she'll jump in to help you out.

Best,
Mary

[boolady]

I had this problem last year with my sister's bridal shower-- no one r.s.v.p.'s anymore. This drives me crazy. By the time the r.s.v.p. date had come and gone, the only person who had r.s.v.p'd was my mother, and like you, I KNEW people (such as the mother of the groom and friends) were coming, and they apparently assumed that they did not need to touch base with me because I was supposed to already know that they were coming. After I verified that people had in fact received the invitations, I had to finally tell my sister that I needed phone numbers for her list because my other sister and I had to call about 35 people. It wouldn't have worked to just ask my mom, because she only knew about 1/2 the people on the list. Even after we called people and left messages inquiring about whether they were coming, many did not call us back. Finally, about a week and a half before the party, I had to call my future brother-in-law and tell him to call his friends' wives and relatives because they weren't returning my calls. Most of them actually attended.

GOOD LUCK!

[Jenn98]

Thanks everyone! I started to put the heat on people (a little guilt in the email I sent the bridesmaids and in the phone call to the mother of the bride) and sure enough the rsvp's have been trickeling in.

Of course it's still confusing because some people aren't saying if just they are coming or if their daughter(s) are coming, too (One invite per household type thing). So far, I have 7 people who are coming! And I know a ton more are planning on it.