Potty Training Set Back - Could Use Some Advice!

[annasmom]

**************TMI WARNING*********************

I apologize in advance if this grosses anyone out, but I thought details may help.

Wow, I don't know what it going on. Anna had been doing GREAT for the past month. She would run in from the backyard to go to her potty, she would tell me at stores if she needed to use the bathroom. This past Monday my nanny and I were actually talking about how great she was doing, and then that very night we went to a MOM's Club dinner, and she had 2 accidents (including a poopy).

Every day since then (except yesterday with her nanny) she has had accidents. In addition to the accidents, she has been playing in the toilet. She will run to her potty, and when I come to check on her, the entire room and her entire body will be soaking wet. Just a few minutes ago, she didn't even make it to her potty and went on the floor. Thank goodness Kieran was asleep or I would have 2 dc to clean up!

I don't know what my approach should be. Should we just continue as it nothing has changed, or do I start putting her back in diapers and lay off of the potty training thing for a while??

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!!

[mudder17]

There are two possibilities--one is that she's needing more attention now that you're preggo with #3 and she's just acting out. The other possibility, although the fact that she has poop accidents as well suggests it's more of a behavioral thing, is that she might have a UTI of some sort?

At this point, if she's willing, you can tell her that wearing diapers is not a punishment, but since she's not making it to the potty very well, it would be easier on you and on her if she wore diapers for a while until she was ready to go back to the potty again. Does that make sense?


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 27 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_-6_Kaya+is.png
Kaya will be a sister, ~11/14/06!

[annasmom]

Thanks Eileen! I think we are going to try diapers this afternoon when she wakes up. It is so hard for me not to sound and act frantic when these accidents happen because I have to get her cleaned up, and keep Kieran out of the mess!! I don't want her to get worked up about it, or think that I am mad at her, iykwim?

As an aside, I really think she was having a hard time with this pregnancy when I was having morning sickness and then on bedrest, but now that we are up and going I thought she was doing so much better! <<sigh>>

[pampamz]

Was she happy to be out of the dipes? I agree that maybe she needs them back on to get through this. Hopefully she does not like wearing them and it will inspire her to use the potty properly?

Sorry for you -- I know how much work accidents are, and it does get frustrating!

[ctmom]

Hi Eileen,
Did she hear you speaking with the nanny about her? Maybe she did, and likes the attention, be it good or bad...I would be firm and let her know that there is no playing in the toilet allowed and as far as when she has an accident, don't get mad (believe me, I know, easier said then done!!) just get her cleaned up, remind her she should only go in the toilet and go on with whatever you were doing. I would try to avoid going back to diapers for a few more days and see what happens. Maybe she is just looking for a reaction from you and if she doesn't get you worked up she might, hopefully, go back to doing her business on the toilet.

Good luck!

Mary
dd#1 2/01
dd#2 12/03

[mudder17]

Eileen, one book that might help is Keys to Toilet Training by Meg Zweiback. She does address regression as well as reasoning with an older preschooler or dealing with a new baby, etc.

Here's one thing she said about regression:

"The best way for parents to respond to any kind of regression from their child is to be accepting of his desire to act younger but at the same time continue to expect him to act his age...For example..."Oh, I guess you forgot that you're not wearing diapers anymore. When you were little you could go in your diaper whenever you needed to go, but now you have to remember to get to the bathroom."

She continues by telling you what the PP said: refrain from getting angry and act matter of fact. She suggests saying something like this, "It's not very pleasant for eithe rof us to have to clean up puddles or wash out pants. We can remind you to go more often and that will help."

And yes, if she persists, tell her you're going to take a vacation from underwear for a while and go back to diapers not as a punishment, but to make things easier for you and her.

Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 27 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_-6_Kaya+is.png
Kaya will be a sister, ~11/14/06!

[alexsmommy]

I could have written your post. Two months of great PT success then - wham, out of nowhere total regression. He had never had a poop accident until last week, peed in Target (he'd been great about telling us even when we were out) and started having about accident per day at home. DS is adamant about not wearing diapers again, so I've just gotten less complacent about letting him tell me and went back to asking him more frequently, insisting he go once an hour or before leaving the house and making a big deal when he goes. Seems to be working. I don't make a big deal about the accidents, but I do have him help me clean up the mess and wash out his underwear. I make sure I am completely neutral about it, taking the same approach I would for cleaning up toys - we make a mess, we clean it up.
Wow, while writing this, Alex called upstairs and asked for Daddy to take him potty, so I guess the approach is working. Good luck.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03