B-day party: when you have 2...

[jamsmu]

Carson and Wes' b-days are one day apart. For Carson's first, we had a BIG family/friend BBQ, picnic with a music instructor. It was more of an opportunity to enjoy a party in our backyard with all of our friends, their families, etc. We really planned to do this again with our second--it was just so fun.

But with the boys birthday's being so close, I just can't decide what to do. Carson's list has 18 kids on it (about half his PS class and a lot of neighborhood friends.) Most of those families would be invited to Wes' first, but not all--especially the preschool friends. And there are a lot of people we would invite to Wes' 1st that don't need to be invited to Carson's 3rd (or subsequent b-day parties for either.)

I'm feeling so torn about what to do. I know the kids won't really care at ages 3 and 1, but its more for the guests that I'm not sure what to do, as well as the idea that we had a big party for Carson's first, and in 10 years will it backfire that we have a big party again for Carson's 3rd, and Wes had to share?

Any ideas, opinions, etc? Oh... and the boys' b-days are the week before Labor Day and we can't have the parties then, so we're looking at either one big birthday party the weekend before, or 2 birthday parties in one weekend.

[Tondi G]

I would have One BIG party! That will make it easier on you and as long as you get 2 cakes.... one for each of them they won't care!

Good Luck

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

and just to make you feel better.... my DS is turning 5 and wants to invite ALL the kids from preschool (41 kids) and additional friends.... we're looking at around 60 kids and then their families/parents as well!!!!

[Jenn98]

I would do one big party. It's all in how you spin it, really. Don't apologize to the boys for grouping it together, tell them how much fun it will be to have ALL your family friends there. Do not kill yourself with planning two parties. I would just focus on the whole family celebrating together with all your friends instead of trying to separate it.

[alleyoop]

My kiddos are only 4 days apart, so I know exactly what you are talking about! This last year we had a big backyard BBQ party for both of them, inviting all the kids that they knew and their families. It was great! I made two different cakes and we sang HB twice. Everyone had a wonderful time!

This year we plan on doing the same thing and inviting all the new PS friends and families too. I don't think that people mind the cross-over too much (who doesn't love more cake??). It is an opportunity for people to meet new families that are like their own! I will probably make it a no-gift party so that people don't feel compelled to bring a gift for a kid they don't know or maybe I will make three different invitations.

The sharing thing is difficult, but for now they don't care and at least we don't have to deal with present-envy. When they get older we will probably switch over to a family event or vacation around that week or do what my neighbor does (who is in the same boat) and have them alternate years for the big party, or space them out by a month in calendar equidistances... So many ways to scar them, so little time and money!! ;)

Good luck!

[Lynnie]

I would combine, too. My two guys are (two years and) three days apart, and that's what I've done so far. I bring cake into school for each one, and that's where they celebrate with their pre-school friends, and then I have an either bigger or smaller party at home for both, with family and family friends.

And in ten years, you can explain to Wes that the big party was for his first, and that he was gracious enough to let Carson celebrate his third along with him.

[C99]

My husband's and my daughter's birthdays are 10 days apart and we had one party for them this year. My birthday and my son's birthday are about 12 days apart, so we will probably combine them for family parties in the future as well.

[spanannie]

My kids are born on the same day. You're the closest to that I've seen here on the boards!

In another week, mine will be 2 and 4. I'll be having one big family party for both, and we already had a party for DS with his school friends. Grace is still a baby, so she doesn't have her own school friends...next year, when she's been in school, they will each have their own party + one combined family party. Actually, I could probably get away with waiting another year to give Grace a school party, since they don't really seem to care about the details of their parties until around 3.

I think a combined party is just fine, until they have their own school friends, and have their own opinions about their party locale, theme, etc.

[jamsmu]

Thanks to everyone for your advice.

And, Annie, hourly, mine have the same b-day, too. They're 2 years, 20 hours apart... to the minute! (Carson was 8/28/03 at 4:33 pm, Wes was 8/29/05 at 12:33 pm.) DH still jokes that he told me to keep my legs shut and wait it out a few more days! Yeah... right. When labor pains started at 12:07 am on the 29th, I was just happy the 28th was over!

[Jen841]

DH and Jude have the same day... 30 years apart or so : )
We have 1 party. My niece and nephew are 2 years 2 days apart. When they were younger things were together, now they each get something small 5+ in age.

[kijip]

1 big party with 2 cakes. I don't think anyone, including the boys will ever care. Carson will remember the fun and Wes will like the pictures.

[tiapam]

I think it's ok to combine, but if you want to give Wes his own big party, why not do that the weekend before, and then do something together as a family for Carson's? Like the zoo or a water park. If you let him pick, he might go for it.

-Pam

DD - One year old!