Any tips on how to "fix" my messy husband?

[swampnurse]

Although this isn't actually about a baby or child, i feel like it is. I swear my husband IS my first child.:)

Wonderful man and father that he is, neatness is NOT one of his virtues. I have been married three years now (together four)and have come up with lots of creative ways to help him pick up his stuff and try to be more organized and neat. I've tried everything from guilt, to bribes, to buying tons of organizational things to throwing his stuff away. To be fair, i am NOT a neat freak. In fact, i am a recovering slob who struggles every day to keep order, but at least i try! Now that we have a 22 month old and are expecting #2 in 7 weeks, i am at the end of my rope. I am planning to get a cleaning person soon, but she can't clean UNDER his junk. I'm not asking prefection or anything close to it, just pick up your !@#$% clothes off the floor and put them in one of the three hampers that is in a 3 foot radius of where you took them off!!!!

I know i'm not the only one with this issue, so I'm just wondering if anyone has had any creative solutions to this issue that they'd like to share.

[Corie]

I think I would go on a laundry strike! :)

My husband does the same thing! He dumps all his dirty clothes
on this chair in our bedroom. And, I don't touch this pile of
clothes!
Finally, a few days later, he'll ask me, "Are my khaki shorts
clean?"
I tell him, "If you put them in the laundry hamper, then yes,
they are clean. I washed all the clothes in the laundry hamper."

He yells from the bedroom, "I can't find them!"

I yell back, "Did you check your pigpen pile on the chair?
I wasn't sure if those clothes were clean or dirty!! If you
would put them in the hamper, then they will get washed!" :)

[swampnurse]

Girl, i went on a laundry strike over two years ago!:) He uses WAY more laundry than i do and mine was getting buried in the pile or hamper. I felt like i was washing his clothes every day. Now i do my own and our son's.

i refuse to do his laundry and he doesn't care! He just lets it pile up in the "pigpen" and then when he runs out of underwear, he has to stay up late the night before work to do it. For some reason though he doesn't think to do our son's laundry along with his. Hmmmm. Somehow that is MY laundry as well as the kitchen dishtowels.

I swear this is one of our very few disagreements in an otherwise very happy marriage and how it can be taking over my life is hard to believe!

[jesseandgrace]

I am a slob, so I hope to be able to bridge the male female divide on this issue since I am on the wrong side :). I would tell him there is a list of things you need from him, and to make it easy you have made it into a checklist for every day (to make it easy, not to be condescending - that should work). Make it the same manageable # of things each day, don't go overboard. Tell him you want him to just check off the list as the day goes by and make sure that the list is complete before he goes to bed. Definitely hit home the idea that the list is so that things are easier an him, and so that you don't have to get on him about it, but that since you are working hard not to get on him, he has to promise to cross everything off the nlist every day. Make a ton of copies. OK, so this won't work on all guys because everyone is different, but this is a really good technique for many men. According to my ds's kindergarten teacher males (from kindergarten on up) just want to get to the point no chit chat. So, short bullet point list like this:

1. Put the clothes you take off in the hamper (not put your clothes in the hamper)
2. Clean dishes from tonights dinner (not do the dishes)

Make it specific, not general where it seems like too much. Good luck :).