Sleep ? - Am I being manipulated?

[jenjenfirenjen]

Well, I was sure that Luke was bound to act out in one way or another once we brought a new baby home and it seems to be his sleep that is the culprit. Every night and at naptime, after DH or I lay him down and leave, he waits a minute or two and then starts crying for one of us.

At naptime, I go up since I'm the only one here. I just peek my head in to make sure everything is fine (it always is) and I say "time to take a nap" and he lays down and goes to sleep. In the evening, DH usually ends up going up several times before I finally go, basically do the same thing, pat him on the back, say, "it's time to go nite-nite" and then he's fine.

So what gives? It's very frustating, especially during the day when I have the baby to deal with, to go back up. I feel like I'm going to have to keep doing it forever if I give in now. But it is so quick and easy (relatively) and otherwise, he just starts getting really worked up which I fear will affect his nap or nighttime sleep (which is of course, sacred.)

So whaddya think? Am I being manipulated? Should I keep going up to reassure him or whatever or just let him have a full on fit for a day or two and then it will hopefully resolve itself?

[Rachels]

Abby did the same thing. I didn't worry about manipulation, although certainly it's frustrating. But it's a sea change for a little kid to have a new baby in the house. Those sleepy, vulnerable times are going to be tougher for a while. Think about how the things you worry about creep up on you when you're lying in bed waiting to fall asleep. It's aggravating but predictable that he would need some extra snuggling at those hours. Hang in there! He'll find his way.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
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Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
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"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[s_gosney]

Well, take this with a grain of salt as I only have one dc and I'm jealous that that's all you have to do to get him to sleep! Anyway, I would keep going in to reassure him/check on him and hopefully it won't last forever. For one, he's still so young and really needs you, plus I don't think kids that age can truly manipulate (at least with the negative connotation I think of). He's just probably having big feelings with adjusting to the new baby and this is the only way he knows to express it. Also, I can't help but think that the ramifications of him not sleeping would be far worse.
Hugs to you! I'm sure you must be so tired and this is the last thing you need. We'll all be hoping this is short-lived.

[mudder17]

I would say go ahead and do it because he may just need reassurance that he is still important, even with a new baby in the house. It is something quick and easy that you can do for him. Recently, Kaya went through something similar, and although it wasn't due to a new baby, I'm sure there was something she was going through that was making her need that extra bit of reassurance. It did pass on its own, although when she tried extending it (as in then she wanted something to eat, another book, etc.), I finally put my foot down and said that she had had all her stories, etc., and that it was time to sleep and mommy wasn't coming back in until after her nap. Surprisingly, it worked. :)

I'm sure it'll start all over when the new baby comes, and you'll be the old pro telling me it's totally normal and that it too will pass. ;)

Hang in there! As long as it doesn't get totally out of hand, I'd just go with the flow and let it resolve itself.


Eileen

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http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 27 months...
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Kaya will be a sister, ~11/14/06!

[JacksMommy]

Like the PP, I'd go in too. Sounds as though DS is just asking for a little extra reassurance. It doesn't sound as though it is hugely time-consuming to deal with (albeit a frustrating change since previously you didn't have to go back, I assume). I don't think you are being manipulated particularly (to the degree that would be possible at that age) since he is not trying to keep you there for ages or otherwise stalling (tactics my 4 yo son uses often) - he just wants to know that if he cries for you, you will come - even though you have the new baby to deal with. Give him that reassurance and my guess is he will resolve it on his own after a while.

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

[holliam]

Wow! My daughter is only about 20 days older, and I consider her to be a good sleeper, but we always lay down with her for naps and nightime. So, I'm just in awe! LOL

I think he is still very much a baby too and definitely needs reassurance. I do not think they are quite capable of manipulation at this age. I think he just need some extra attention. Could your DH maybe spend some more time with him when going to bed?

Holli

[jenjenfirenjen]

thanks everyone. you're right, he is still so young. i forget that because he is so independent. it's frustrating because his bedtime and naptime is dex's fussy time (i think we may be dealing with colic here) but i'll suck it up a little bit more and go reassure him. thanks for reminding me he's still a baby.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Jen,

You already got great responses but just wanted to reassure you. DD did the same thing when DS was born. She actually still needs a cuddle from Mommy most nights but it only last a minute or two.

Hope things are going well on all other fronts! :)




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