When you moved dc bedtime earlier, what happened?

[overcome]

We have been ferberizing with some real success (although it still makes me sick to hear her cry, even for 5 min) but dd is still waking at 4:45 - 5:00 am. i don't go in until 5:30 to get her. bedtime is 8pm.

after she wakes up she is still tired. i am following ferber's suggestions for early risers but i am TERRIFIED of putting her to bed earlier.

would love to hear your experiences.

btw naptime is around 9am and either 1 or 2 pm

TIA
Ashley
ETA Mommy to Mia 10-08-2005
8 months old

[randomkid]

I've tried getting DD to bed earlier, but she really won't go to sleep until her regular time. She often will go to sleep, but takes a 30 minute "nap" and wakes up crying and upset. Then, she is wide awake and ready to play. I usually have to go in to settle her down, give her milk, etc., then she will go back to sleep. I would rather keep her up until her usual time and not have to deal with all of that. When she has gone to bed earlier, she usually gets up at her regular time, but sometimes about 30 minutes earlier.

You don't say how old your DD is, but mine is 17 months so this may not apply to your DD. When my DD was younger, putting her to bed earlier made her get up earlier. She never slept longer than 8-9 hours at night no matter what I did. Now, we are up to 11-11 1/2 hours! Yippee!

[bcky2]

no matter what time i have ever put my boys to bed they always get up right around the same time.

[sidmand]

I didn't answer because for the most part DS gets up at the same time no matter when he goes to bed, but that's only when he found the *right* waking up time--IYKWIM.

Eight still seems kind of late to me, but that totally depends on your baby. We had a 5 o'clock bedtime for awhile! And he was waking up around 6:00 a.m. for good, but still getting up a few times during the night.

Now we find that he pretty consistently sleeps 11 hours (no getting up, yeah!) and we've been slowly but surely making his bedtime a bit later. Five didn't last long (that was when he took no naps whatsovever) and that got pushed to six, then seven. Now it's usually eight and he gets up around 7 a.m. But even if we make it 9 p.m. he still gets up around 7 a.m. And if it's earlier because he's just so tired, it's often still around 7 a.m.

So once we found the *right* time, it stayed pretty consistent.

I would try putting her to bed earlier. Try just a 1/2 hour or so to start and see what happens? Does she show any sleep signs earlier than eight? Or have you determined that eight just seems to work?

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[thomma]

No matter what time I put them to bed, my dc are up at 5:30. "Sleeping in" is 6:00. :) A small miracle is 6:30. FWIW when they were 8 months old they were in bed at 6:30. Then around a year old they started going to bed at 6:45. At 2 1/2 it started being 7:00 or 7:15 which is where we're at right now. I don't think mine will ever be late sleepers.

good luck-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[overcome]

Thanks for the responses!

Yes, she does show sleepy signs earlier than 8pm. Like I said, I am just terrified of changing anything, but I do think an earlier bedtime is worth a try.

Oh my. These sleep issues are the pits!!!

[kimbe]

DD went to bed at 6:00pm, then changed her bedtime to about 7:30pm. We recently went back to 6:00pm.

She gets up at the same time no matter what time we put her to bed! During the week, she gets up at 6:30 and on the weekends she gets up around 7-7:30pm. (I think that she gets up when DH gets up during the week.)

You could try to push her bedtime back a little at a time -- maybe 15 minutes for a couple of days and see what she does.

HTH! You are an official member of the Sleep Issues Stink Club!

[overcome]

well... here's what happened

last night dh put her to bed @7PM, 1 hour earlier. I was planning on trying 30 min earlier but i was out with some friends for dinner and he said she was really tired so he put her down @7.

she woke up at the same time! 5AM At least she got an extra hour of sleep...even if it was at the front end. AND she didn't get up an hour earlier!!! we'll see what happens tonight.

[newnana]

WooHoo!!! Congratulations.

Sorry I didn't have a chance to respond sooner, but like many of the pp's said, that is our same result. No matter what time DD goes to bed, she gets up at the same time. Heck, sometimes she even sleeps later when going to bed earlier. Whe we put her to bed too tired, she doesn't sleep as well and typically wakes up earlier. DD is 13 months and goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:00 depending on her cues. Please let us know how it goes tonight,
Michelle

[randomkid]

I was just coming to post something similar. If we wait too late to put DD to bed, she becomes overactive and takes longer to settle down. Why did I think of this? My stepdaughters are here for the weekend and we were celebrating my oldest's 15th birthday. I wanted to have cake and open gifts with her and lost track of time. Didn't get DD to bed until almost an hour after her regular time - not fun!

I really think earlier is better than later, but everyone including our little ones have their own "best" times. We have tried a lot of things with DD and I cannot imagine putting her to bed at 7:00. She'd wake up like she'd had a nap and be ready to go! I have put her down really early before and that is what happens. She might sleep 2 hours, then wake up and not go back to bed until 10 or 11! She usually goes to bed around 8:30 and sleeps until 8:00. I just had to change my work schedule so that life is more pleasant for us all!

Experiment with her times and she will let you know what works for her. Keep us updated.

[overcome]

Well the next two days were not as successful....DD woke at 3:50 on Saturday and 4:30 this morning. On Saturday she was much more vocal and ended up crying. This morning was a little less traumatic, but she was still not happy. I got her out of bed at 5 AM both days.

I am just so confused and emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. My DH and I are arguing about it too. We are both so stressed with this sleep issue. I am stressed about DD not getting the sleep she needs, and he is stressed about me being so upset. Yikes. Vicious circle.

I just put the ocean wonders aquarium in her crib so we'll see what happens tomorrow morning. I am so close to nursing her when she wakes up and trying to put her back right after tosee if she'll sleep some more. I am afraid I might backpedaling if I do that...we'll see.

Thanks so much to all who responded. I appreciate the insight and support.

[dhano923]

Could she be waking up because she is hungry? You mentioned that you are nursing -- breastmilk digests faster than formula, so it's possible she is waking up because she is hungry.

My son was a bad eater and would only drink 2-4 ounces at a time, but drank more often (he was on soy formula). He would sleep around 9pm and wake up at 4-5am, but it was because he was hungry. I'd give him a bottle, and he'd go back to sleep until 8am or so.

It's not backpedalling if you are feeding her after 8 hours. She's probably hungry after all that time. I know I'm hungry after sleeping 8 hours!

Also keep in mind that sleeping more than 6 hours is considering sleeping "all night", so if she is consistently sleeping 7-8 hours at a time, she is sleeping "all night". It may not be the night hours you are hoping for, but it's still considered all night.

Good luck!

[overcome]

Thank you for your thoughful response. Yes, she could certainly be hungry. I feed her when I get her at 5AM but I have a feeling if I got her as soon as she started making noise and fed her, I could put her back for at least one more hour of sleep. My concern is that she will start waking up during the night wanting to be fed, which she hasn't done for a week.

As I mentioned, I am just so confused and emotionally spent that I feel almost paralyzed. I am afraid to try anything. That must sound stupid, but it is the only way I can describe it.

I'll post with an update when there is something to report. I can feel myself being drawn strongly to the idea of feeding her and putting her back down, even though Dr. Ferber would not agree! :-)
I know I have to do what works for me, DH, and sweet little Mia.

Thanks so much.

[jenjenfirenjen]

Who gives two hoots what Dr. Ferber would think? You are right...you have to do what works for your child, which I think for most people ends up being an amalgam of different mehtods.

I just wanted to say that nursing your DD at 5 if she's hungry is no indication that she'll start waking to nurse at other times during the night. This is exactly the path my DS took. He would wake around 5, I'd bring him to bed with me and we'd nurse and go back to sleep for another 2 hours. He never regressed and started waking at other times during the night.

Also, we're another family who did not experience any earlier waking with an earlier bedtime. We slowly moved his bedtime from around 9 to eventually around 5:30 and he still woke at 7 regardless.

Good luck! I know sleep issues are so frustrating but it will get better...someday!

[overcome]

>
>I just wanted to say that nursing your DD at 5 if she's hungry
>is no indication that she'll start waking to nurse at other
>times during the night. This is exactly the path my DS took.
>He would wake around 5, I'd bring him to bed with me and we'd
>nurse and go back to sleep for another 2 hours. He never
>regressed and started waking at other times during the night.


Thank you for posting!! That is very encouraging!!! I'll let you know what happens. I am 99% sure I am going to nurse her upon her first sounds @ 4:30!!

[mommyoftwo]

That's what I would do and I wouldn't worry about what any book says. You have to figure out what works for you. Too bad I can't seem to figure out what works for us. I sent you an email BTW.

[randomkid]

ITA with PPs - feed her! She could be going through a growth spurt or may just need to be fed more often than some other babies. I never read Ferber because I didn't agree with CIO and it plain just wouldn't have worked for DD...trust me. I did read and like No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I don't agree with everything she says either, but that book did help me understand why some babies sleep better than others. Just like adults, we are all different.

My DD didn't sleep through the night until a year (meaning all night without waking - 11+ hours). That is about the time she really started doing well with table foods. She was waking because she was hungry, so I would give her a bottle and she would go back to sleep. DD was on Nutramigen due to multiple issues and would only take 3-4 ounces at a time. They need a certain amount of calories in a 24 hour period, so they will get it in there somehow. There are still times when we go through periods of DD waking at night - teething, after being sick and growth spurts (at least that's what I tell myself-lol!). When she has been sick and not eating well, we will go through a week or two of night feedings then she will sleep through again. She is older now, so I will give her 20 minutes. If she doesn't settle, I give her milk and that usually does the trick. Also, when she wakes up when she is teething, I think she realizes she is hungry or thirsty and will want milk.

If your DD is sleeping until 4 or 5am, I think that is great. If she wakes, I'd give her just a couple of minutes. If she doesn't seem to be settling down, go feed her right away then put her back to bed. That way you are both getting more sleep rather than being awake for an hour while she cries, then you both don't go back to sleep. Whatever works, I say!

I know it sucks to get up all the time, but if it's just once a night, that is not bad. And, technically, she is waking in the morning. If feeding her gets you both more sleep, go for it. You may only be up for 15 minutes or so. I found that was how long it took me to feed DD and get her back to bed. Much better than torturing yourself.

FWIW, I found that I was much less stressed when I put the books away. I read parts of 3 or 4 different books and took what I liked from each, but didn't try to stick to one method. Once I put them away, I never took them out again! What works for one may not work for another. I ended up letting DD take the lead and I just tried to go with the flow. It is tiring, but once you let go of those expectations and stop putting so much stress on yourself, you are so much less fatigued. Try doing what you feel is best and don't think you are failing if your DD doesn't sleep like you think she should. You hear about these babies that sleep through the night from early on, but I know lots of Mommies with babies like ours and some with even more difficult sleepers.


BTW, I have put DD down at 5:30-6:00 and she just wakes up after 1-2 hours and then I can't get her back to sleep until 10 or 11. To me, that is even more stressful. As I said in a previous post, you just have to find the time that works for your DD. Some people would be appalled to know that my DD goes to bed at 9:00 (I had her going at 8-8:30, but then stupid DST came along). However, she sleeps until 8:00 or 8:30 which is great and she gets 11+ hours. This wasn't established until around 14 months. I would like to get her to bed earlier, but she just cries and wakes up every few minutes until 9:00 anyway. Why go through that if 9:00 works and we are all happy and she is getting the hours that she needs? To be honest, I will keep trying to get her down at 8:30, but may do it in 5-10 minute increments.

Sorry this is so long, but I know it helps to know that you are not alone. You can e-mail me if you need more support.

HTH,

[cmdunn1972]

Sean is a bit older than your DD, but we just figured out what was waking him as early as 6:30.

Sean seemed to let his sleep patterns be determined by the sunrise and sunset. Not a problem in the winter, when the days are shorter, but it can get annoying in summer when the sun is down at 9 and up at 5 am! We have only valances for curtains in his room plus a shade, so the light came into his room more than we'd like. It was DH's idea to actually tape the shades to the window all around. (We used painter's tape so that we wouldn't strip paint off the wood.) So far, it's worked, even though it looks a little funny, but DS's wake time moved to closer to 8 am. I guess whatever works! ;)

[overcome]

Thank you for such a thoughtful post. yes it does help to know i am not the only one. you made some excellent points.


What do you think that little stinker did this morning!!?! She slept till 5:15! I did go to her right away and nurse her. I did put her back in the crib when we were finished, but she instantly popped up and started crying. I wanted to give dh a chance to sleep and i just didn't want to deal w/it so we came downstairs.


I feel so much better that I went right to her. We'll see what happens tomorrow!!

[newnana]

That's what we do. The only times DD wakes up to eat are during growth spurts. Heck, I'm hungry when she wakes up at 4 or 5. I can't imagine if I were her and it was already 10 hours since I had eaten. She typically settles back down until her normal wake time and it doesn't affect the rest of her sleeping. This doesn't happen often, and typically does on days when she's eating more in general. Please keep us posted!
Michelle

[newnana]

Yeah, we hang some beach towels and king size pillow cases over DD's windows. Looks hoosier, but I haven't found the right black out curtains yet. Our new problem is the birds. There must be a nest right outside her window and they start up at 5:30. It hasn't affected her yet, but I can't sleep through it :) I was never this light of a sleeper before and am glad DD isn't yet!

[clc053103]

My DS has the Fisher Price FLutterbye Dreams soother- it's like the Ocean Wonders Aquarium, but bird themed and it projects on the ceiling too. I used to turn it on at bedtime. Anyway, around 7 months, he learned to turn it off and on himself - now, when he wakes up early (or even on occasion, in the middle of the night) he pushes the button and watches his beloved birdies. In the middle of the night, it puts him back to sleep. When he wakes at 5:30, it will eithe rput him to sleep or entertain him for at least 45 minutes. Show your DS how to turn on the Aquarium. Maybe she will fall in love like my DS did!

I remember reading in Babywise (another book with fantastic points, but other methods or theories that I just didn't buy) that it's common for babies around this age to wake and talk to themselves etc for an hour before going back to sleep. So I don't get him unless he is actually crying- singing, loud talking etc I just ignore.

I hope things are improving for you and you are getting some good sleep!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sure my Mom, who is always picking out stylish things from Pottery Barn et al, would be mortified by the sight of ugly tape distracting visually from the terrific valences she bought for us, but they live out of town and aren't able to visit that often. :P

ETA: I just noticed that you used "hoosier" instead of redneck. Luckily, I grew up in StL and know what you meant by that! :P (It's totally a StL thing, which I didn't realize until I moved east.) :)

[newnana]

way ot- really?? I had no idea. I never knew what it meant until my DH kept referring to me as a hoosier to his friends when we were dating. I prefer Hick. I'm from the sticks and DH is from STL, so that must be where I picked it up.

And yes, my mom would be mortified if she saw DD's room :)

[maestramommy]

Well, in the beginning dd's bedtime was ours, around 10, then we moved it to 9, then 8. So for a while she was sleeping from 8 to 7 or 8. Then because of the battle of the bottle we started the bedtime routine at 6:30 to give time for her to fall asleep by 8, but eventually she fell asleep by 7:15. Nowadays she will fall asleep anytime between 7-7:30. She wakes up any time between 6-7, but sometimes later. I try not to let her sleep in because it throws our daily routine off. Her first nap is 2 hours after she wakes up, and second nap around 3-3.5 hours after she wakes up.

We don't do Ferber, but we do CIO for naps and bedtime, although she doesn't always cry.