If you are (or were) a teacher, I need your input

[natividad]

Hi all!
I have been offered a position to teach full-time at a private school. I was not seeking a full-time job, but I subbed for one month for one of the teachers this past spring and the kids loved me :-) Anyway, as it turns out, one of the teachers is not coming back in the fall, and they really would like me to hire me. This is very exciting for me for a couple of reasons.

First, I really enjoy teaching. I was in another field (education research) and am transitioning back to the classroom, which I enjoy much better.

After a year of teaching at the school, faculty members receive substantial tuition benefits for their kids. I must add that we live in the Wahington DC area and private schools around here are VERY expensive. Also, it means that DS1 will have priority in getting admission in a year's time. This is tremendously appealing to us.

The only thing that is holding me back from jumping at this opportunity is my one year old. In late August when classes start, he will be 15 months old and I am really torn about working full-time. I am scared to miss this time with him. I have been with DS1 for the last 3 years and I really enjoyed them. I just feel like perhaps I would be shortchanging DS2 by going back to work sooner this time around. My schedule is such that one day out of the week I don't have to be in school until 11:30 am so I could spend part of the morning with DS2 while DS1 is in pre-school. And, I do get to be home at a decent hour, 3:30 pm latest.

So, as you can see, I am really torn. I think is all me though. DS2 is a very happy go lucky kind of kid and he adapts well to changes. We also have a wonderful person who would love to take care of him, so that is a big plus. But, I can't help to wonder if I'll "miss" something by going back.

So, teachers, can you please chime in and tell more about how you do it? Did you teach when you had real little ones like me? How was it? Do you think there is a major difference in part-time vs. full-time teaching?

Arrrrrgh, I just can't make a desicion about this. I look at my baby's face, and I just don't want to leave him. But, then I think that if I don't take this now, I will kick myself later. Thanks SO MUCH for listening!

Naty
DS 02/03
DS 05/05

[maestramommy]

Aack! No advice, just (((hugs)) because it's such a tough decision. I taught full-time at a private school for 8 years before dd was born and quit so I could be with her full time. Don't know what I would do if I were offered another position after she turned one. Very tough! :-(

[mamato1]

Wow this is a tough one. Here is my situation. I taught for 5 years got my masters in counseling psych and became a school counselor. I did that for 3 1/2 years until DS was born. I then took the rest of the school year off and returned full time in the fall. I worked full time (8-4 everyday)that school year and was miserable. I was lucky enough to land a job share position this past year and will do it again next year. I work Mondays, Wednesdays , and alternating Fridays. I wish I could be home full time but DH is also a teacher and we can't afford it.

OK so now that you know where I am coming from here is my 2 cents. The positions hours sound pretty good! To not have to go in until late one day and then get out that early is great. You would have summers off and I assume long winter and spring breaks. For me, I would consider the following things... Would you be able to afford a private school if you did not go back to work for the tuition break? If so, could you even get into one? What will you be teaching and how much outside planning/grading will you have?

I think that if you could swing the private school tuition and be sure that you could get into one without going back to work then wait. If not, I would go back if you are not teaching a class that has a huge amount of outside work. Math teachers seem to spend their lives grading and upper level English teachers spend a huge amount of time evaluationg their student's writing. I think that elementary school is more intense during the day, but perhaps the outside load is less (DISCLAIMER, I have never taught elementary school and quite frankly know I could not hack it for even a week. So if you are an elementary teacher reading this and fuming because I think you do not work a lot outside of school hours, the consider me ignorant!)

So, in my mind home is best. BUT, this sounds like a great opportunity for getting your children an excellent education and that deserves a whole lot of consideration. If going back to work is the ticket to the good education for your DC then take it and run!

HTH, I know I have been wordy and I am not all too sure I have done a good job getting my thoughts across succinctly.

Chris
Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/04


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[lmwbasye]

First of all, Chris, you have not offended me, but I teach kindergarten and have few papers to grade (not no papers, but few papers) but still work everyday probably from around 7 a.m. until 8 p.m. (breaking for dinner, putting Liam to bed, etc.) It takes an insane amount of my time. Just wanted to clarify since I would hate for the OP to go into this blind. Elementary teachers keep a enormous amount of hours.

My summers I have off, but spend a good portion of it working, in workshops, or prepping for the next year.

Liam is 19 months now. I'm at a point where I've resigned from my job at the end of this year and am moving to the DC area actually in 3 weeks. I need to find another job....and realized that in some ways I want to and some ways I don't. Chris is right that it is a huge help to have summers and breaks off, so you don't miss out on as much as if you had a tradtitional job, but you do pay for it during the year. This year, I tried the tactic of making sure I leave my classroom at a decent hour each night, but found that I wasn't always prepared then and my days went terrible. Teaching just plain takes a good portion of your time.

I think you have a tough choice to make and I'm not sure that I can be of any help. I agree that if you can get your DS into good schools in the future (I know it's tough in that area), then I'd probably stay home. However, if that's not a probablity, I'd take the job since my child's education is soooooo important.

I hope I haven't upset or offended anyone...just offering my experience.

As far as missing anything, I miss a lot, but I don't. DS was a late walker at 18 months and took his first steps at school, but it didn't bother me or make the first steps I SAW any less magical. (We joke that the ones at school were pretend steps and the teachers were just hallucinating..LOL!) I love seeing DS when he goes to school...how happy he is and how much he's learning there. He loves other kiddos and really enjoys his time there, so that's also a huge help. It's not the same as being home with me, but that's not always a terrible thing...he's thriving in this situation.

Well, I've babbled on enough and probably made no sense, but wanted to share my experiences with you. I think everything will turn out great no matter what you decide. What's most important is that your children know how much you love them...and I can tell you really do.

[mamato1]

I stand corrected! FWIW, I have utmost respect for elementary school teachers. The patience you must have awes me.

Thanks for educating me.

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/04


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[lmwbasye]

Too funny, because I even get near 5th graders and I start to shake. Forget about middle or high school. LOL!! I believe the respect goes both ways and we don't understand what you all have to do either. I just know it's a lot and more than I'd want to handle. :)

[Karenn]

Such a tough, personal, decision!

I taught private school for 7 years before staying home with DS. The tuition break is a total motivator. :)

Two things I would also consider: Is it a classroom position or a specialist position? Where I worked, classroom teaching generally required more work after school hours and outside of the classroom. Also, what kind of after school hours are required? Around here, teachers at private schools generally have to do a lot more after hours (often unpaid) things like open houses for prospective parents, admissions screenings, fundraising events, etc. I'd be more likely to consider a specialist position than a classroom position, but even some specialist positions can carry a pretty heavy work load.

Good luck with your decision!

ETA: I was totally thinking elemenatry school, since that's what I taught. Why would anyone want to teach anything else? :P

[purpleeyes]

Ok, here's some thoughts:

I am a school counselor, I work 2.5 days a week. I went back to work when DS was 12 months and I will go back next year with the exact same schedule. I am also in a private school in the DC area and getting DS into this school was important to us, so that was part of my decision to return. The one thing that made it work for us was our daycare. We have my sons 'aunt' (she and my brother are headed for marriage) with him for 2 days and my brother is with him for the half day. Without this option, or a similar comfortable situation, I would not have gone back. What I have learned is that it has been great for him! He loves his aunt and uncle and has learned so much from them. They are able to give him such great one on one attention and play with him, take him to the park, etc and they really love to be with him-they get excited about his milestones and his little cute behaviors.
The other side of it is that I LOVE my job, love it! The beginning was SUPER hard, getting used to being away from him, getting used to the responsiblities, learning to time manage, etc., but by the end I felt really good about what I had accomplished and what is coming up next year. It has been good for both of us!

I know I didn't give too many hard facts, but hope it helps to hear my experience.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Beth

[lizamann]

Tough choice! I have no advice but wanted to say that I recently went through almost the exact same decision process, with the exception that I have only one 3 yr old dd, which will make my decision seem even more crazy to you. I turned down the opportunity, so I could stay home another year with her, even though I could have put her in their nursery program for free.

DH was about to kill me for turning down the fantastic job, fantastic nursery-12 free tuition in a very competitive urban market, but, after the initial giddyness, my gut was screaming at me not to do it. So I decided to wait for the next opportunity, which of course may never come along, but I decided to chance it. My job would have had me leaving before 7 am with a dressed and fed dd, commuting with her 40 minutes each way, and I just couldn't imagine that complete 180 degree turn around in our lives even though so many people do it.

So I'm holding out for another job in a year or 2, closer to home. I have taught in 2 similar, excellent schools closer to home, and either would probably have me back if they ever had openings, so that also played a huge part in my decision to wait.

FWIW, I have friends who stayed teaching after having their kiddoes, and they are quite happy going to work everyday. So it definitely can be done!

So I say sleep on it, then go with your gut. You already have all the hard facts you need to know, so now it's time to let let intuition take over. Easier said than done, I know!

[nfowife]

I taught K/1/2 for 6 years before becoming a SAHM. First, being home at 3:30 at the latest is very unlikely to happen in a classroom position, in most grade levels, particularly elementary. There will be meetings, conferences, things you need to do that you didn't get to, etc. Like a PP, I often brought work home (didn't always get to it, but it did come home with me!) and did plenty of work on the weekends too. There are a lot of benefits in your situation, and I think you need to decide what you think will work out best for your family.

Personally, if it was me and I could afford to stay home for a while longer, I would not take the job. I think if you decide not to take this opportunity, you might go in and speak with the principal who offered you the job, express how grateful and honored you are to have been offered it, but that you don't feel ready to go back to a full-time position yet with such a young child at home. Maybe (if this is the case) express that you plan to still sub at the school on a part-time basis and hope that in a year (or two, whatever your plan is) if another position comes up that you would definitely be interested at that time. I can't think of an administrator I know or have worked with (and I changed schools almost yearly because I'm a military wife!) who would look negatively on that.
That's what I would do. From my experience, there will always be jobs and great opportunities- especially in education- but you can't get back this time with your kids (assuming you can afford to stay home). I am sure that another opportunity will be there when you are ready to take it. But you need to decide what is best for you and your family. Listen to your gut and go with it!

[aguinn]

I work at a private school (administration), and I think it sounds like a great idea! Different opportunities come along at different times, and I think, given the education situation around metro DC (being that private school is hard to get into in that area... and I used to live there, so I know, too), you would "probably kick yourself" for not going for it. Just curious: do you get medical/dental bene's, too?

OTOH, I know it's hard thinking you are "short-changing" DS#2. However, is he an afternoon napper? It sounds like you'd have the mornings with him and then he be with daycare only a few hours, and likely be napping during that short time you'd be working.

Besides, [a bit of] absence makes the heart grow fonder... Good luck with your decision. Be sure to let us know how it goes!

;)amy
momma to DS#1 "Big Brother" (BB) and, finally, DS#2 "Little Brother" (LB)

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"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ Neil Postman

[firsttimemommy]

I JUST went through the same thing....sort of :) I was a SAHM and intended to be one until both DC's were in school (or at the very least when DD started kinder, then DS could go to preschool). Although there were days I "dreamed" of working again, and wondered how I'd get through another 24/7 with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old, I had no real desire to go back (so I thought)

Then along came an oppty - a 1st grade teacher at the school I used to teach at passed away (horrible circumstance I know, but this is how my "oppty" came about) and my principal asked me if I would finish the last 11 weeks of her class. I decided to take it for three reasons:
1. It was only 11 weeks, so the end was "near"-short commitment
2. We are building a house so the extra $ would be nice
3. I knew I could do a good job and wanted to help him, the kids, etc

The day I started I can't tell you how many people asked me if I was coming back to work in the fall. I immediately answered NO! to each and every one. After one week of crying daily, it got easier. Then after 2 weeks of less crying and really enjoying the students AND my kids LOVING their school, it got even easier. Before I knew it, I realized that for ME, this was a better balance - working. We needed insurance too (my DH is self-employed so independent insurance costs were killing us). I found myself cherishing the time I did spend with my own kids, and was MUCH more tolerant and "close" to them. I realized my "at home" days were just too long, and they fought ALOT already and it drove me nuts. We were short on money with me not working, so you can only go to the park so many days, kwim? IT was constant stress and battles trying not to spend money I shouldnt' be spending, kwim?

Anyway, the bottom line is that I think I was given this oppty so I could test it out - I would have never gone back and hence never discovered how much I liked it if this hadn't come about.

Do I wish I had more time with my kids - yes - but at the same time I ENJOY my job and I know they love school (and now I'm enjoying summer with them!) so it's really been fairly easy. And I know I don't want to go back to SAHM full-time - it's just not the perfect scenario for ME. Part time would have been perfect, but there are no job share situations where I live and other types of p/t jobs dont offer benefits (and then you end up paying f/t for p/t daycare anyway!)

BTW, DH DOES help ALOT, so that makes it MUCH easier (his job allows him a very flexible schedule so he can do alot of housework and errands and even p/u the kids on many days). AND I was offered my old job back (gifted/talented specialist) for the fall - so I will be a specialist, not a grade level - and it IS a bit easier.

As far as spending long hours at school - here's my take on it. I left everyday by 3:30 w/a few meeting exceptions. I took about 30-45 min of work home. I had stressful days b/c I wasn't prepared 100% and I *could* have done a better job had I stayed later, etc. BUT I realized that in order to balance it all, I had to stop trying to be "super" at everything and just do a really "good job" at it all.

You know you could always *try* it and in a year (or even at semester break) you could quit if you are miserable...

Hope that makes sense and if you're still reading (LOL) hope it helped some - good luck!


Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[ajmom]

It is such a tough decision! I've taught for the past 5 years and I have a 4 yr. old and a 2 1/2 year old and I'm pg with #3. I was home with DS1 for 8 months once after we moved, but had to go back to work.

Overall, I'll admit I wish I had more time wth the children. I am working part time next year, which I think will be perfect FOR ME. hoever, do I feel like I've "missed" something? Not really. The boys do everything when I get home that they do during the day. I don't feel like they've grown up without me... I enjoy my time with them! Personally, i don't spend muh time outside of school doing school. I leave it there and go home to be a wife and mom.

Sounds like the tuition piece is huge! It also sounds like a really good schedule. However, it's a personal decision. Good luck!

[rsgmommy]

Wow- I'm going through a very similar situation right now. I have been offered a position teaching 7th grade science in the fall at a small private. I have always been a SAHM (except for a miserable full-time teaching stint for one-semester). But they have offered only one class ( 3 blocks a week) of 8 students, and blocked off for when the baby comes. So I would teach the first quarter, be off until after Christmas, then go back PT. I would be hesitating more, except they told me I could bring the baby to class when i return. SO, I figure it is too good an opportunity to pass up, but I still get very angsty about the idea of working. Even with the new baby with me, I worry I will miss something in my son's Kinder class, or be busy making class plans when my dd wants to play.

I'm pretty sure this isn't helpful, but I wanted to tell you that someone else was struggling with this situation also. And you know? I'm pretty sure whatever you decide, whatever I decide, your kids will be ok because you love them enough to consider them.

[MamaKath]

(((((Nat)))))

I am in a very similar situation, but my kids are a bit older. We are also in Dc area. Tuition is high and slots limited. I started working last year partly to get my dd into the school. It is pretty good. The pay isn't as good as other jobs. I get to see my kids though. The staff is like family. The hours aren't bad but I put in a lot of extra time though with planning, prep, grading, etc.

Overall I am pleased. We are in the situation of mommy needing to have some income. This keeps me in a situation where at least I can be a big part of my kids lives in a way most parents can only dream about. Please don't hesitate to email me if you want to know more. It is a hard decision either way!!!!

[babystuffbuff]

This is probably going to be long - your post really hit home for me.

When I was a freshman in college, my youngest sibling was born (big surprise!). My mother had been teaching in the same school system for over 15 years at that point (started out as a sub, then went full-time) and had tenure and a good salary that was needed to pay the mortgage, etc. She went back to teaching full-time when the baby was 3 months old. I still lived in the same town, so I helped out a lot. So, this isn't my personal experience with my own kid, it is just what I observed kind of from the "outside", so feel free to take it with a big ol' hunk of salt. :)

Anyway, I can tell you that for my mom, the hardest thing was not being at school. Leaving the baby was tough, but what was even tougher was all the schoolwork she had to do after she was done teaching for the day. Yes, her day was "over" by 4 PM. But then she came home, and on top of caring for an infant (then a toddler, then a preschooler...), she had lesson plans, parent conferences, journals to read, worksheets to prepare......it went on and on and on. It exhausted her. :( She loved her job and loved her students, which I think is what got her through, but she would be up until at least 10 PM doing schoolwork, up to nurse the baby a few times during the night, then wake up to be out the door in the morning. I *really* don't know how she did it.

I'm sure these are things you already realize, having been a teacher already. :) Your post just brought back such strong memories of my mom, dead on her feet with *one* small child, and still facing two hours of work after putting said child to bed, when she could have easily collapsed onto the pillow herself.

I'm so glad you enjoy teaching. It is a tremedous calling. I have seen how rewarding it can be for my mom, and I'm sure you see those rewards too. And the tuition benefits sound like they would be great for your family. But I would just urge you to really consider how much time your teaching would take. Not only the "at school" part of your day, but the outside work as well. Leaving your child to go to work is one thing - having more work to do when you are home at the end of the day is another.

I didn't mean for this to sound like a horror story, and I hope it didn't come across that way. :) If you feel in your heart that this is the right path, by all means take it. You would not be a bad mommy for choosing to do so. :)

Sarah

[natividad]

I just want to thank all of you for taking the time to respond to my post. You have no idea how helpful your replies have been to me. I am reading your responses over and over and thinking through this very carefully. I am still talking to the school about it and have not made any decisions yet.

Some of you were curious as to what I would be teaching. I would be teaching Spanish in their upper school. Basically, it would be four classes, including two honors classes.

Also, some of you asked if I could afford to stay home longer. The answer is yes, we can afford for me to stay home. Private school tuition is another matter. I don't think we would be able to afford it for two kids solely on my DH's salary.

The ideal situation for me would be a PT teaching position at this time. I think I would really enjoy that and if this position were PT, I would have jumped at it in a heartbeat!

I will keep you all posted. Thanks so much again!

Naty
DS 02/03
DS 05/05

[lizajane]

i taught 11th and 12th grade english at a private school. 4 class, 3 preps- 2 honors. i worked about 70 hours/week.

be wary- private school require you to wear a lot of hats. i would not be surprised if you were suddenly asked to participate in all kinds of other areas of the school. i coached field hockey and swimming. i was the student government advisor. i was on the student activites committee. i supervised the writing center a few hours a week.

if you do take the job, read your contract CAREFULLY. you could easily be pressured into taking on roles that you didn't expect that will require a lot of time.

you will not be home at 3:30. and even if you were, you will be grading papers much of the afternoon/evening.