How do you divide toys/books, etc. between 2 kids?

[KBecks]

With 2, how do you handle the toys and book sharing? Are all in a common area, do you designate who's toys are who's? How about books?

Do I confiscate some of Alek's books to share with the new kiddo? Outgrown toys should be no problem (I think!!) but otherwise, how do you handle it at your house?

[o_mom]

Everything is shared with a few exceptions. Loveys are not shared and toys with small parts are not shared with little ones. Toys received for birthdays, etc. are for that child for a little bit, but we gradualy transition them to common property. Almost all our toys are in one area, and only a few things in bedrooms, so it is impossible to separate them. Books are also mainly together, so all shared. Books for DS1 are not very interesting to DS2, so we haven't had much problem sharing them.

[Lynnie]

Outgrown toys may actually be a problem, because they look like so much fun when baby plays with them (but its not that bad, trust me), but I find at the beginning there is no problem because baby can't really play with anything yet, so older sibling can't want what baby has.

Then, baby can play but doesn't get all that attached to things, so taking turns isn't that bad, and often just plays with what you give him/her.

Then there is a rough patch, and I have gotten two of a few favorite items so they each have one, otherwise, they have to share and take turns. Even if the toy is DS1's, I still tell him that we share in our family, but will often try to substitute things if possible. As far as favorite stuffed animals, those "belong" more to each child, and I wouldn't make DS1 share his favorite sheep or bear with DS2, just like I wouldn't make DS2 share his barney or baby doll with DS1. But, for the most part, all the toys in the common area are for both of them, and if there is anything that is too advanced for the younger one to play with - ie has small pieces, whatever - I keep that in DS1s room up high, and bring it down for supervised play.

The books are all everybody's, but I didn't let the two year old have the paper books (as opposed to board books) unsupervised until just recently because he would tear them. So I just put a bunch of board books in his room.

Both my kids are in school/daycare, but even on the weeknights and weekends it isn't that much of a problem. There will be the occasional fight over who gets which basketball, but they have been able to work that out pretty well.

[Dcclerk]

This is the way that we handle it, too. Each kid can choose a "favorite" that s/he doesn't have to share, and everything else is fair game. Even toys that are received as gifts become common property as immediately as possible. Even if something is technically DS or DD, it is still expected to be shared completely, to the degree that it would be considered common property.

Books are all intertwined. I don't worry about DD ruining the paper ones, and DS isn't that interested in most board books anymore. I tell the kids that I am sharing everything in our house with them, and I expect the same kindness from them. There will be a time when they are older that they will probably need to have more things that are exclusively theirs, but I will keep it as minimal as possible.

[jennifer13]

That's a great question, I feel like I really struggle with this, even though it's not a huge problem right now. On the one hand I do what one of the other poster's said, which is every present becomes common property almost immediately. But on the other hand, my older DD doesn't always realize that certain things are DD #2s. It seems that what's Norah's (the elder) is much more clear than what's Leah's. So recently when grandma gave them each a present I felt it was important that Leah get to open her own, even though she didn't really get the concept (she's 1), but Norah DID get the concept. But they still share everything, but some things belong to each individual.

Books are totally shared with no "ownership", loveys and pacifiers are not shared at all. Fortunately Leah is not into stuffed animals, but if she were I think we'd have to delineate hers from Norah's, since Norah's animals really are her friends. Oh, and a funny one are Norah's little people-- if Leah grabs one Norah will cry, "oh SARAH!!! MICHAEL!!" etc.


Jennifer
Mom to Norah 5/23/03
and Leah 3/24/05

[ykc]

Nearly everything is shared, no questions asked. But my kids are not very possessive of their stuff. Maybe because they're nearly 3 years apart and different sexes, they rarely fight over toys or books. I did give #1 a storage bin with a cover when #2 was born for her special things, if she didn't want to share them. It is essentially empty. Technically, the stuff in her nightstand is "hers," but she lets him get into it sometimes (they share a room), but it's stuff like lip balm and jewelry, not toys or books. Now that #3 is nearly here, both kids seem to know that the baby will get to play with the same toys and read the same books as they do (assuming the toys are safe, of course). The oldest is anxious to share; the younger, well, we'll see what happens when reality hits.

[spanannie]

My kids "share" everything. Actually, DS claims ownership of EVERYTHING, so DD has to share. He has every car, hot wheel, remote vehicle, etc. on the planet, but if she has a purse, stroller, pink baby vehicle, little people doll house, etc., he wants it too. So, they just share everything. She just got Dora's Talking Doll House, and he wants to play with that all of the time, too.

I'm in the habit, now, of buying 2 of everything. Argh. It was really difficult with the Cars movie, since DD like the cars diecasts as much as DS...and those things are scarce. So, I ran all over creation to find 2 of every car, and they are clearly marked with pink nail polish for her cars, and white nail polish for his, since there was constant fighting about them, until we did this.

As for books, I try to keep DD away from DS's books. She is destructive enough with board books, that I don't want her tearing up his good paper books.