What do you carry for safety? e.g. Pepper Spray, Stun Gun or Other?

[colegiala]

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about safety b/c I've had a few situations when I've been out with my 11mo. DD that made me think, what if? I feel most vournable when I am putting her in her car seat and I am in the the back with her (Acura Hatchback) I think, what if someone gets in the front seat and demands the key drives off or worst yet is, when I've put her in her seat and get out to put the stroller in the trunk, what if someone drives off with her? I just would like to have something that would buy sometime to be able to run away from that situation.

It would be great to hear what you smart moms carry with you OR what plan of action do you have to get away from different dangerous situations. I will be glued to hear your responses.
Thanks,
Gaby

[KBecks]

I don't feel all that threatened in general, I live in an area that is low crime, and I don't think that kidnappings happen all that often.

That said, I try to be aware of my surroundings when buckling DS in his car seat. I do realize that being hunched over with my back out is not a great position and someone could try to sneak up on me. So, I try to pay attention to who's around when I'm getting ready to put DS in.

My general plan would be to physically defend myself and DS with my body, hands, whatever. I usually have my keys out when buckling in DS, so that would be my best weapon at hand. I'm not organized enough to get any other defense device quickly. If the keys are in my hand, I'd use them. Otherwise, I'd just try to wrestle, hit, yell, all that good stuff.

We generally go out to places that feel "safe" i.e. busy parking lots, public places etc. etc, or the homes of people we know.

I try to get DS in his seat quickly and efficiently too.

I've never felt unsafe with my "mommy radar" and if I did feel like something was not right, I'd not proceed with putting DS in the car.

I do carry a cell phone, which I think is my best emergency tool, that said, I have not gotten into the habit of keeping it charged, and it often takes me a minute or two to get it out of the bottom of my purse. Need to do better at that.

I read the Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker, both are good books about avoiding danger and handling dangerous situations as best you can.

[aliceinwonderland]

I wear high heels :)

Seriously, just being generally aware of my environment has worked so far(**knocks on wood**)--Though my sister's boyfriend did buy us both pepper sprays...I have yet to see it, I don't think I'm interested, thought it was very sweet of him to get it for me.

[Rachels]

From what I've read, you're much more likely to have those things used AGAINST you than to successfully ward off an attacker with them. The appearance of any kind of weapon has been demonstrated to increase the rate of violence and violent feelings rather than to subdue them.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[DebbieJ]

Where I used to live, I carried pepper spray. Now I live in a much safer area and carry nothing. I've really let my guard down.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[cmdunn1972]

LOL Some men buy flowers. Others buy pepper spray. :) Awwww.... ;)

To the OP: In ancient history, before marriage and DS, I participated in a safety seminar given at work. I bought the whole kit & kaboodle: alarm, pepper sprays, the works (sans stun gun). (The pepper sprays have long ago expired.) For a while, I was a huge safety nut with all the gear, including pepper spray and a swiss army knife. (I forgot about the Swiss Army knife while traveling and it got confiscated at the airport in South Korea.)

Honestly, I hesitate to carry stuff like that with me anymore. I'm always afraid that DS would go exploring in my purse and discover pepper spray. Now, my best defense is awareness. I check my surroundings before exiting and entering the car and try to remember to lock the car doors.

The safety expert who gave the seminar told us that we should check the front and back seats before entering and lock the car doors as soon as we get in. I'll be honest and say that I don't always follow exactly that. I guess I'm complacent since we live in a pretty safe area and I don't want to appear paranoid. ;)

[kath68]

Long ago when I was in college, someone gave me pepper spray to carry with me. Honestly, it made me paranoid to have it with me, because in order for it to be useful you have to be prepared to use it in a hurry.

I hated always thinking that danger was just around the corner -- it played awful tricks in my head, so I "lost" the spray, and felt much better.

I have also read that those things often backfire, since it is easy to get the spray come back at you, or have the thing taken away. So I am definitely in the camp of not carrying anything. You can use your keys as a good self defense tool, though, if you carry them with the keys poking out between your knuckles (while you make a fist). That and a cell phone is pretty much all I carry safety-wise.

If you are concerned about safety, perhaps take a self defense class? That might give you some confidence that you can deal with the situations will probably never arise.

[colegiala]

I guess I'm being a little paranoid, but then again I live in South Florida. Its not that bad, just think I've been watching too much chanel 7 news. You are right, I do worry about that some of these protection tools can backfire and be used against me. My cousin's husband told me that criminals hate sound and light. He suggested carrying a loud horn that they sell at walmart or a hunting shop. I might do that.

I actually think this fear of thinking of "What if" situations stems from being a new mom. Before my DD, I was very unaware of my sorroundings, but now i worry all the time and think every little thing through. It can be exausting. Maybe with time I'll get more comfortable with my new role. I'll be tuning into my new mommy radar and definately looking into taking a self defense class to give me more confidence.
If I knew I would read it, I would get the books you recommended. I have 3 books that I've started and don't seem to have the time to finish them. Maybe if I stop watching the news, I'll have a little more time.
Thank you Mom's for your feedback its always greatly appreciated,
Gaby

[dhano923]

I don't carry any of those. Reason being is that I'm more concerned about my son getting into my purse and using one of those items on himself than I am about someone attacking me.

If you're worried about someone driving off in the car when you're not looking, do what I do: unlock your car doors (I have the remote kind), then open DC's door and then lock the doors again. That way no one can get in the front seat. I also never leave the keys in the car while I put the stroller/groceries/whatever away -- they are always on my body.

[hillview]

I live in a big city in an up and coming area. I feel safe -- I am aware of who is around me think about what I am doing and how to do it safely. I have lived in citys all my life. I think taking a weapon is a bad idea in general as it is more likely to be used against you and poses risks to DS. You could contact your local police station and they could give you some advice about how to act safer and feel safer. Some things I think about are
- who is around me
- am I parking in a safe area (e.g. not next to a big van or in a dark area)
- if I find myself in an unsafe situation I change the situation to make it safer. You can ask someone in the mall or area to help you, wait for someone who looks safe to be in the area, call a friend to come over etc.

For me I feel the least safe when I am at home and there are workmen etc around. I don't like being home alone with strange (men). So I avoid this situation (have someone come over).

HTH
/hillary

[BaileyBea]

A whistle on your key chain. And a loud voice to scream "HELP." ;-)

For the most part I feel safe. I tend to be aware of my surroundings, check around the car, and sometimes when I see someone that I question I memorize what they look like and what they are wearing etc...

[Sillygirl]

I agree that a self-defense class is much better than buying some pepper spray. I took a great one in college. These ginormous ex-cops wore full body armor and you had to hit and kick them with all your might. They'd only stop when they judged that a non-armored attacker would have been incapactitated. I still remember one role play they did where the guy came up to me on a "train platform" - ie limited places to run. He lunged and I clocked him full on in the nose, driving straight from my shoulder like I'd been taught. He fell down and I ran, and later the cop came over and said that was the hardest he'd ever been hit in one of those classes. I have taken a lot of self-confidence from that class and I feel a little more prepared to fight like hell if I ever have to. I think the biggest benefit is that I for sure don't LOOK like an easy victim because of that confidence. So I highly recommend one of those classes.

[kijip]

My main weapon of defense is banishing TV news from my home. Honestly, I think people generally feel better without it on. Violent stranger to stranger crime is generally quite rare in most areas.

Perhaps you would feel better if you took a self defense class or some martial arts? It can be very empowering (if not entirely effective) and is good exercise to boot. After several years of it, I feel confident enough that I can toss a kick or throw a needed punch. Still the most important things are being alert, not overly trusting and willing to be loud. Practice shouting, I am not kidding.

[kijip]

That is a most excellent point, Rachel. ;)

[MarisaSF]

I used to put my key ring around my finger and jingle it. A police officer friend taught me a move to knock an attacker in the face with it. I also keep a whistle on my key ring.

[essnce629]

I have an ear piercing whistle on my key ring. I've never even blown it fully since it's so loud. It's a referee whistle. I figure that will draw other people's attention to me in case I need help. I also carry my keys with the biggest key pointing out so I can use that as a weapon if needed.

My mom gave me pepper spray in college and I kept it buried in the bottom of my backpack. I KNOW it would have done me no good if I was attacked since there's no way I could have gotten to it fast enough.

There's no way I would carry pepper spray, swiss army knife, etc now with Conner around. He's always going in my diaper bag looking for his water or "snacks" and if I carried stuff like that it would only be a disaster waiting to happen. One of my best friends carries pepper spray with her all the time and one time while her and her boyfriend were driving, another friend of there's who was in the back seat found her pepper spray and thought it would be funny to spray it while they were in the car DRIVING! Needless to say, it wasn't a very pretty picture.

***Latia
Birth and Postpartum Doula

Conner 8/19/03 (homebirthed water baby)
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aug2003angel
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif Self-weaned at 24 months!

[BargainMomforLuke]

In a self-defense course I took a long time ago, the instructor said if we were to remember only one thing he told us that day, it was, "A FINGER IN THE EYE MAKES A GROWN MAN CRY." He said poking eyes is your best defense against an attacker. He said in the event you are being attacked, aim to poke the attacker's eyes out.

Also, regarding pepper spray, BE VERY CAREFUL with small children (and even older children). When I was 5 years old, I was out of my mom's sight for a minute, and I climbed up on the counter to the cabinet where my bubbles were kept. On the very top shelf of that cabinet there was a can of MACE. I (being very curious) sprayed the can straight into my eyes. I can remember like it was yesterday...it was so scary. My mom and older brothers had to hold me down under the sink and run water in my eyes for 20 mintues. It was a very, very painful and traumatic experience.

Natalie

[MarisaSF]

>I also carry my keys with the biggest
>key pointing out so I can use that as a weapon if needed.

One thing my police officer friend told me is not to put your keys through your fingers with anything in your palm. If someone were to grab your hand like that, whatever was in your palm (keys, key ring, etc.) would poke into your hand. Instead, put the ring around your finger so you'd be able to swing the whole thing of keys into an attacker's body.

[pb&j]

I hope I never meet up with you in a dark alley! ;)


-Ry,
mom to Emma, stillborn 11/04/04
and Max, 01/05/06

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/34550.gif
http://b1.lilypie.com/aKGqm5/.png[/img] ([img)

[alexsmommy]

Nothing for the reasons Rachel listed. I try to be aware of my surroundings, park in well light areas if there is any chance of me coming back to my car after dark, keep my keys in a position that I could go for the eyes if necessary and if for any reason I feel uncomfortable, I call someone on my cell, tell them where I'm at and stay on the phone until I am safely on my way.
I also try to open all of those "it really happened" type urban legend-y emails. They might not be true, but they remind me to be aware, not to trust a "cop" pulling me over on a dark deserted road, and to get into my car quickly and pull away immediately in a parking lot - no getting settled, fiddling with my purse, no removing anything on my back window (ploy to get your car running and then get you out of the car to remove the paper or object on your obstructed back window) etc.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Nuchucks and my Ninja throwing stars, look out!!
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06