What to do re: toddler behavior before mealtime

[hudsonam]

My 18 month old DS becomes a whiny, pushy, tantrum-throwing nightmare when I'm trying to make dinner, or any other meal for that matter. I can't figure out how to make him understand that mommy is making his food and it'll be ready soon, but he has to wait for it to be done. Any advice? I try to get down on his level and explain it, but he just fusses more. Crackers help, but I don't want to keep feeding him snacks to quiet him down.

[saschalicks]

When I was cooking I put DS in his high chair until it was ready. If he got whiny I gave him a little car or a book to look at. Sometimes I would even wheel it into the kitchen so he could see me but stay out of the way. HTH.

[NatalieM]

My DD has been doing this exact thing, although she's several months younger! The past week what I've tried doing is putting her in her highchair. That seems to calm her down some knowing dinner is closer to being served. I get the veggies started first so they are done sooner and I feed her some broccoli or green beans whatever veggie we have that night and it seems to hold her over until the rest of the meal is cooked. When I can't get the veggies started right away, I give her a piece of cheese or a few raisins on her tray. That works for a little while. It's definitely a lot better than her screaming at my feet or tugging at my leg. So far she's been happy! :-) I'm curious as to what other mamas suggest. Hope that helps a little...

[Momof3Labs]

Sounds like he's hungry before dinner is ready. Any way to give him a snack late in the afternoon, or move your dinner time up an hour?

[crl]

I remember this! I can't remember what age I started having DS "help" with dinner, but it definitely cut down on the sniveling (his and mine). I just put him up on a chair and had him help pour, etc. If there wasn't anything for him to help with I cleared a bit of counter and gave him measuring cups, etc to play with. Not sure if you feel comfortable with your child up on a chair. . . .

HTH,

[mudder17]

At that age, Kaya really needed to eat her dinner at 4 or 5 at the latest. Obviously that didn't work that well for us, but we finally decided it was okay for her not to eat with us for dinner, since she really did seem to need the food at that time (a snack wouldn't work because she just wouldn't eat later anyway). So for quite a long time (and even some days now), we would just make her dinner first, and let her eat while I prepared dinner for DH and me. Now that Kaya's bedtime is later, she is able to eat more at 5 or 6, so that's a bit easier for us. But we don't stress about it--if she's hungry earlier, then that's when she gets her dinner. Eventually, she'll end up with our schedule and that's fine with us.


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 28 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catcatcvi20040222_-6_Kaya+is.png
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev317pp___.png
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[californiagirl]

Like everybody else, it was partly hunger and partly boredom so a snack at a scheduled time earlier than dinner so that DD isn't starving, and at 18 months she started training to "help". At that point, she just learned the rules about coming into the kitchen, mostly, and she got to play with the stuff in "her" cupboard. Now she gets to do more -- did you know you can cut cucumbers with a table knife, even an Ikea plastic toddler knife? (She can't do it elegantly, but sacrificing a small amount of cucumber to eating/cutting occupies quite a bit of her time.) It's undignified, but you can do a lot of safe preparation stuff like snapping beans sitting on the floor, and a stepladder (or Learning Tower) not only gets the kid up to the right height, but also means you know basically where they are.

Clean the inside of the dishwasher door, give child some water and some cups, hey presto water play (given the size of our kitchen this only works if I want to wash dishes, but it does wonders then).

[jillc]

DD hangin' on me when I was trying to get dinner ready was what led to my letting her watch about 20-30 minutes of a video while I get dinner ready. We don't do much TV, but a bit while I'm getting dinner ready has been a life-saver.

[brittone2]

YES, YES, YES to the Learning Tower. It is seriously a huge lifesaver for us. DS has enjoyed his since he was about 16ish months old. He has always used it a lot, but I swear, at almost 2.5 he could spend half of the day in there. It has been a wonderful tool and is our most-used "toy" by far. My DC would *never* have just sat still in his high chair. He always hated it, and putting him in there before dinner would have meant he'd be tired of the high chair by dinner and would not have willingly sat there. (DS was never a big eater until recently, so for me, I was not willing to make sitting in the high chair a battle since I wanted him to enjoy mealtimes).

DS helps prep dinner, I give him a small pyrex pitcher and a big bowl and he pours water into it. He stirs it with a whisk. He helps me to cut (with a non sharp knife), etc. He washes veggies and fruits for me. He "polishes" mushrooms by wiping off the tops w/ a damp rag. He *adores* doing this stuff. At 18 months he may have been a bit young for much of that, but he may really just enjoy watching from the LT.

I agree it sounds like he's hungry and could use a snack. Maybe just being near you while you cook dinner, standing in the LT, having a little snack would do the trick?

[writermama]

I tried to use the crockpot as much as possible when DD was going through that -- I'd put the meal together early in the day while she was in a good mood and then bypass the cranky fits while I was trying to cook right before dinner time. Casseroles and other things that can be "assembled" early in the day and then just popped in the oven in the afternoon worked too.

Now we use a combination of feeding her when she's hungry even if that's not when we want to eat and letting her "help" with meal prep.

[elliput]

Dinner prep time is usually when DD watches videos, and since DH cooks, I have the opportunity of sitting with her to watch Signing Time or read books. A couple times in the past week I have put DD in her highchair with scrap paper and crayons to scribble with for the last few minutes before dinner, and she seems to enjoy it.

[hudsonam]

Thanks everyone! He does get a snack in the afternoon at daycare when he's there three days/week, to the point that sometimes he doesn't seem to want much dinner, but I suppose it's possible he's still hungry sometimes. My mom usually gives him a snack in the afternoon too, when she's here. We usually feed him around 5:30 at the latest. He's always been rather impatient, so it seems like he just wants it NOW. I should get him involved as some of you suggested. That's a great idea! I forget that he can do more things now. I'll have to check out that step stool. That sounds wonderful.

I hope that all made sense. I need to go to bed. LOL!

Thanks again!
Anne Marie

[lizajane]

i like to give a "snack" that is really part of dinner. something nutritious and distracting like a banana (dylan's favorite food) or yogurt. instantly ready and good enough to be part of a meal. (instead of crackers or goldfish or cheerios, etc.)

[Jen841]

Do you have any of the Cheerio, Goldfish, Raisin or M&M books? Jude loved playing with those at the table. He also went through a stage of playing with his train placement and a matchbox car.... go figure, but it worked.

[CiderLogan]

Another vote for a kid cabinet in the kitchen. It's a lifesaver for us - we stocked it with all the little freebie toys DD manages to accumulate, photos and cards from friends that we are ready to toss, old plastic containers for stacking, old gift bags, etc. It kept her busy for quite a long time at your DS's age and is still a hit (she's almost 3).

Jenny
Mom to Julia, 8/27/03
...and Clara, 5/23/06 - SHE'S HERE!!