Would appreciate advice about this crazy incident (esp from physician & attorney moms ) UPDATE PLEASE READ

[pixiepoo]

Update! My SO just called and said one of the nurses that works in the physician office came to one of the pharmacies he owns & said, did you know his girlfriend is pregnant. So the physician IS saying this to people. Its ignorant I know. Why does this person I dont even know want to say things that arent even true.

This is going to be long, but I would appreciate some opinions on this incident.
I am divorced & dating a divorced man. His divorce was very bitter and his exwife is still very volatile/confrontational. On the fourth of July we went to a little festival in our community. We were with his neice & her boyfriend & my children. My significant other's (SO) ex wife was there along with her grown daughter a friend & her friends husband who is a physician. We saw them sitting in a grassy area and made it a point to steer clear of the area they were in. We were there maybe 20 minutes & decided to walk to my parents house b/c we were uncertain if his exwife would create a scene. Before we could leave she approached SO, attempted to hit him in the face & was saying something about 5 months which none of us could understand. Of course we were embarrassed b/c there were tons of people around. So we left. The next night my SO's son calls him and says that his mom (the exwife) was upset b/c the physician friend that was with her said I had full breasts & it appeared as though I was 5 months pregnant. OK, I am 117 lbs, wear a size 4 and in no way, shape or form look pregnant. So thats why the nutso exwife went off. Of course there is always some crazy reason for drama with this woman. So of course I am amazed at the entire ignorance of it all. But I am wondering about the ethics of a physician making a speculation of that sort, a medical speculation about my health to another person. Is that legal or some sort of violation? I have considered writing a letter to this physician or making a call to his office, but am not sure if I should bother.
Also the exwife is legitamately mentally unstable, she called her daughter after this incident saying she was going to kill herself b/c I was pregnant. She has went to a psychiatrist for over 20 years and also a psychologist every week for about the same.
I hope some of you make it this far & would appreciate any advice.
Thanks!

[megs4413]

I don't have any advice from a legal/medical standpoint, but wow what a nutjob! IMO, taking further action in the matter (like making a complaint to the medical board) would probably fuel the Xs fire. I think it's best to ignore crazy if you know what I mean. Steer clear of crazy. Don't anger crazy. You get what I'm saying.

I worry about the effect an episode like this has on your children. I understand that you all live in the same community, so it must be hard to keep them away from it, but it seems like they are the ones that need protecting from psycho nutjob lady.

I hope things get better! (OR crazy gets committed!)

[buddyleebaby]

Well, I'm not a physician, but I think that it is only if you went to him as a patient and he chose to comment on you to others that it would be a problem. It is weird and inappropriate, but it would be weird and inappropriate were he a Dcotor or not, kwim?
I wouldn't pursue it any further by confronting him about it. For one, if So's ex is as crazy as you say, who knows if he actually even said anything. For another, if he DID say that, well, he sounds as nutty as So's ex.
I'd just let it go.

[dhano923]

I believe it's only unethical if he made a comment like that while you were a patient. Him saying it to the ex makes no difference -- it's just like anyone in any profession making a comment to their friend.

[MonicaH]

Hi, I am sorry that you had such an unpleasant experience.

As far as the physician's speculation, there is no ethical prohibition against this unless you had a doctor-patient relationship with him. I would not write to him if I were you, because I don't think it will clear anything up for you. If your letter were to get back around to the ex-wife, things could get even messier. I'd say that if the physician knew that the ex-wife was this unstable, it was in poor judgment to make this type of speculation. However, it may also be that the ex-wife misinterpreted something that was said, and the doctor may not have said this at all.

Well, I hope this will blow over for you and your significant other.

Monica

[lizajane]

clearly to me, this idiot dr was worried that his idiot girlfriend was going to be upset all night about how hot you are, so he made up some crap to make her feel better.

[JBaxter]

You may have to consider that he may have not made the comment and it is in her mind. Sounds like she is capable of twisting any comment. Unless you actually heard him make the comment I would just blow it off as the crazy person ranting.

*** WISHING I was 117 and a size 4 LOL

[chlobo]

I was going to say the same thing. How do you know he really said it? She sounds crazy enough to make this stuff up.

[elliput]

I was thinking this same thing. It is very possible the X said something about pregnancy first, then the Dr. replied that if you were you could be no more than 5 months. Which of course meant to a crazy X that you *are* 5 months PG.

I don't think I have been 117 lb and size 4 since 8th grade. :-(

[Rachels]

Take the high road and say nothing. You can't argue with crazy. Physicians get to gossip just like anyone else, as long as they're not discussing their patients. You know better; try to let it go.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[pixiepoo]

You all are right, there is a good possibility he did not say this. But SO knows this physician pretty well & he said he likes to stir things. But even if he had said it, I know it doesnt give her the right to behave like a maniac.
Thanks!

[pixiepoo]

I know you were kidding about her being committed, but I think their oldest son is contemplating it and has talked to her about it.
My children thank goodness were looking around a booth when psycho made the scene so they didnt see anything. SO is such a good guy and I know this is hell for him.
Thanks!

[pixiepoo]

This made me think of something my granddad used to stay...The more you stir Sh#t, the worse it stinks" :) i guess I'll just let it go. It just blows my mind that someone would act so ignorant though.

[elliput]

A lawyer, doctor and accountant are on a camping retreat in the woods. They are enjoying a peaceful evening around the campfire when they notice an odd smell. After a bit of discussion the accountant decides to go check it out.

A short walk through the woods following his nose, the accountant comes upon a small clearing and sees an old woman stirring a large cauldron full of what looks like boiling mud.

The old crone senses the accountant’s presence and snarls in his direction, “What are you looking at?�

“I am interested to know what exactly is in the pot. It smells down right awful.�

“Sh*t� states the old crone.

“What?�

“Sh*t. That what is in the pot,� she cackles, “why do you want to know?�

“It just smells bad. What are you going to do with the sh*t once it is done?�

“I’m gonna make me a new accountant.�

“Oh,� and with this the accountant hurries back to the campfire to report his findings.

After hearing the story, the lawyer says he’ll take of the situation. Obviously a little legalese will set the old crone straight, as the lawyer is certain there are laws against making accountants out of sh*t.

The lawyer saunters off into the woods, and directly comes across the clearing with the old woman in it. He see that the old woman is standing on a stool above huge cauldron that stands almost as tall as she is.

The old woman looks up from her task of stirring. “What do you want?� She snaps.

“I am interested to know what is in the pot, and what you are intending on doing with it,� states the lawyer.

The crone raises an eyebrow and accesses her new visitor, “It is sh*t, and I intend on making a lawyer. Any other questions?�

“No. No other questions. Have a pleasant evening,� says the lawyer with a nervous chuckle.

The lawyer quickly leaves the scene, and upon his return to the campfire details his conversation to the others. The doctor knows that it is medically impossible to create either accountants or lawyers out of sh*t (though it may not seem that way). He’ll set the old woman straight, and thusly put an end to the stench she is creating.

The doctor marches off in to the woods, and after pausing once or twice to access the correct direction finds the clearing where the old woman is standing on a ladder putting every bit of energy she has into stirring two extraordinarily large cauldrons.

“Good evening,� says the doctor in a pleasant tone.

“Hmmppff,� grunts the crone in return.

“I understand that you are intending on making accountants and lawyers out of sh*t, I believe.�

“Made accountants and lawyers. They’ re done.� The old woman replies wryly.

“Made. I see.� The doctor nods. “ So, currently, the sh*t you are stirring is for a doctor, I presume?�

“A doctor? BAH! Not enough sh*t!�
----------------------------------------

The professions can easily be interchanged in this joke as needed. ;-)