How far would you drive to go to a particular religious service?

[kijip]

Background: I am Catholic. I have been attending mass weekly+ since joining a parish that was a good fit for me and my family in November. This was after A LOT of searching for a good fit in terms of number of families, programs for families, feel of the general community, basic agreement with theology/approach. J likes the church too and was making plans to convert in the fall. Well, since moving from Seattle to the burbs I have made it in on Sunday morning maybe 3 times. And I have no intention of going tommorrow. It is not a sleep issue, it is the distance issue. However I really feel at home at the particular parish. I actually don't think that it is too far to go but I really hate driving and after commuting during the week the last ting I want to do is drive in again. So I am really torn between finding a new church closer to home and trying to stick with this one. Searching again is not sounding like a lot of fun. One possibility is to just go to morning mass 1 day during the week that I am already in town but that takes the family out of it. there is also a Thursday mother's group that I am starting to attend with Toby which for some reason does not seem like a trek and I will continue to go too. I guess it is because I just want to be home on Sundays, not gone half the day. As you can see, I am feeling pretty conflicted on this! If you have a drive to get to religious services, how to you wrangle it? And moving closer to the church is not an option for me right now, but may be in a few years.

[DebbieJ]

We have a 20 min drive to church, which for us, is a bit of a trek. We also live in the opposite direction from many of our church members, so getting together outside of church is sometimes difficult.

We just plan our other errands in that area accordingly. For example, the TJ's is in that area of town, so we often go after church on Sunday mornings.

It does get hard during the week to drive to evening meetings and such.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[Saccade]

Just a couple of thoughts:

1) is it at all possible that someone else in the congregation lives nearby (or maybe you are on their way) and would be willing to give you a lift?

2) You said that you'd rather be home on Sunday, but short of that, how having some relaxing family time in and around the area where the church is, after the service? Are there things in that area you miss doing, parks you miss going to, places you miss eating at, people you miss visiting? Can you plan a regular Sunday routine with church, lunch, a walk, whatever? That way the drive seems more reasonable.


http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/squsqutdg20050713_-8_DS+is.png

[FONT COLOR="#006600"]Come get wild and wooly with us!
http://s14.invisionfree.com/BBB_Knitters/index.php?act=idx[FONT]

[trumansmom]

We're struggling with this right now, too. We drive about 30 minutes right now. Some of this is because the church is so huge that we have to spend a chunk of time looking for parking. We've loved this church and have been members for 6 years, but in those six years they have gone from 3 services to 7 (!!) a weekend, and it may have outgrown our comfort level.

Our other option is a church about 6 blocks away. It's a lovely church, and we love all the members of the congregation we have met. Our catch is we can't stand the pastor. He's a closed minded jerk, and I'm not sure Steve and I would be able to keep our mouths shut! However, the congregation is terrific. I've been told by more than one member that they just ignore him and go for the wonderful community. I dunno. If they fired him, it would be a no-brainer for us. In the meantime, we skip a lot of church right now.

Ideally, I would say stick with the church you love. However, I do know that the commute makes a big difference.

I'm absolutely no help, am I?

Good luck!
Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[kimbe]

Does a Saturday evening mass work out better for you? Is that an option. We drive 20 minutes and it is so much easier to go then for us!

[jbowman]

Katie,

Is there a Saturday evening vigil? That would allow you to attend church with your family, but free up your Sunday. Just a thought.

[mamicka]

In your situation, I would probably take a few months to try to find a parish that I liked equally as well (or pretty close, whatever your tolerance level is) that was more convenient. If I were unsuccessful, I'd just keep trying to go to the distant parish, & try to make it less painful by making a bigger experience of it like PP's have suggested.

Good luck - this kind of decision is no fun. Hope you find a good solution soon!

Allison

[buddyleebaby]

It's an hour train ride to our Parish. We used to live two blocks away, it's the Church we got married in, where dd was baptuzed.
Honestly we really have to force ourselves to go. We usually end up going to a later service and then just plan fun activities for the way home (like going out to eat, going to the park, seeing a ballgame, etc.)
On the days where it is clear we are not going to make it there (like really inclimate weather) we go to a parish closer by, or we just skip it that week.

ETC typos. I swear I'm not drunk.

[bostonsmama]

Although I don't have children to contend with getting out of the house to go to services, I can certainly sympathize with wanting to worship at a church that's both a good fit and doesn't take half of your day attend. DH and I originally attended a church that was 25 minutes away and honestly we found a lot of excuses not to go. And since I really do feel better when I go, I decided I needed to make it harder to come up w/ excuses and so I started the tedious and scary (since I am painfully shy in person) job of finding a new church that was closer & an equally good match. It didn't take us very long. We asked people in our neighborhood where they went to church and what they liked about it. It gave us a good feel for what was out there. Maybe you could ask around your community and get some recs. Turns out my mom referred us to the church of which we're now active members, but we couldn't be happier. It's only 3 minutes from our house by car and 10 minutes by bike. We became members 3 years ago and only really miss church when we're traveling out of town. I think it's a combo of us really liking the church family and it being close. That is what worked for us.

Larissa

To quote my fellow Marines: Pain is the weakness leaving your body.
Baseline July 25th.

Proud Aunt to Jack Dorian, born to my bro & SIL 3/06
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/32719.jpg

[cheyennemom]

We decided to find the best church for us in our town. I know a drive would hinder our attendance. The whole church shopping experience is not all that fun but going to church in our own community was important to us. I wanted my kids to go to Sunday School with kids they would see in school.

[emmiem]

We drive one hour and 20 minutes to attend our synagogue every week.
Sometimes twice a week if something else is going on. I have three children and a husband who works many hours but the travel time is worth it. You can the best conversations out of your teens that way.
Michele

[cbm]

Katie, doesn't your church have a Saturday service in the afternoon/early evening? Would that fit with your schedule?

Other alternatives?
1) Go every other Sunday (or Saturday) to your church.
2) Finding a church close by just to attend Mass (when you cannot get to the one of your choice), not necessarily to be part of the congregation or their programs.
3) Go to your church during the week if the time works for you.

I understand your conflict, but sometimes you can only do the best you can under the circumstances.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04