Need help from "suprise mommies"...

[mclianne]

I have a friend who thought she was done having children and who has been blessed with a surprise third baby. She is a little disconcerted at this point, ambivalent even. She feels awful for feeling ambivalent/upset about this pregnancy. She knows that she will love this little one. Just needs to get used to the idea of a third little one. I have told her that she isn't an awful mother for feeling this way, but I want to do more.

I want to send her a "care package" and give her some encouragement. If there is anyone who has been in this situation, what would you have wanted to hear from your friends?

Thanks...

[janeybwild]

That its ok not to feel the same way as before. Its ok to be scared. That your heart will grow each day to accept this new miracle. That looking back, you will imagine it was planned all the way. That you shouldn't listen to the naysayers. That you should follow your heart. Everything else will work out. Oh, and eat plenty of chocolate :)

[BaileyBea]

I was in total shock I was pregnant again so soon after DS. Our little surprise was welcomed but it caught me off guard and I cried for days.

My BF from college sent me a congratulations card and a frame for my first Ultrasound - with a little note saying "Good surprises come when you least expect them." My other good friend sent me a congratulations card and a pregnancy journal. They wrote me really nice notes in inside the card.

This really touched me! Of course we warmed up to everything after the sonogram. Everyone was really happy for us.

[american_mama]

I was very, very surprised by my first. Tell her it's fine if it takes her months to really accept it, and if she finds herself occasionally resenting the baby even after he or she is here. If she thinks "I didn't ask for this..." If she feels different from other moms. She'll love the baby in between times, and those moments will grow and grow in frequency, and soon she won't be able to imagine her life any differently.

I too now think that the timing of my first was meant to be, and that it was actually a great time in my life to have a child. I've known others facing surprise pregnancies who came to feel that way too.