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Lynnie
08-18-2006, 09:03 AM
More nanny questions. Just need some opinions to help me sort through this. (yes this is a novel)

Background: I work full time and had a woman part time helping me with the house and kids. It is a finincial strain, but so worth it, since the point is to have someone clean the house one day, and be there for 3-4 hours in the evenings on the other days to help with dinner, and maintain the house, and help with laundry, especially since DH works all the time and is often gone, and also very high maintenance (can you see I am still trying to justify the expense to myself ??). She left on July 14, and recommended her sister's husband's cousin, who started on July 17. That woman had no place to live near me, so had to live with us, but I could not afford to pay her more than I paid the original woman. That was agreed to and understood. I tried to find her jobs during the day, but nothing came through. She would visit a cousin who lives 40 miles away during the weekends.

So, she works for two weeks, and then I am on vacation for 2 weeks. I wouldn't have wanted someone for those first two weeks, cause I would have rather saved the money and then have someone start after we get back from vacation, but it worked out that she needed to start then because the lady who she used to work for was going out of the country for 4 months. Anyway, she asks if I am going to pay her for the two weeks I am gone. Although I really wanted to not even have anyone those first two weeks, let alone to pay someone when I am gone, I figure since she did not take other work, whatever, and because she will presumably be with us a while, I’ll pay her for the two weeks of not working, and she can help with the whole move-in process after having the floor redone.

A few days after I say I’ll pay her for those two weeks, she tells me she is leaving to move to another state, and will only be able to work for me until August 25.

Meanwhile, she was with her cousin for those two weeks, and was supposed to come back to my house last Saturday, when the furniture was moved back in. The floor is not ready, so she could not move in.
I could really use the help with the move in, since I can’t watch kids and move in, and clean and organize, and she helped pack up, so I am hopeful that the floors will be done before she leaves, otherwise, there is really not much, other than helping me watch the kids at my friend’s house where I am staying, that she can do. I called her and asked her to come to my house sometime today, and told her I could pick her up after work, so that she could do something, and so I’d have a reason to pay her for yet another week of no work. On the phone, she said something about wanting to be paid more because she’ll be working more hours to help me set up the house.

I don’t know exactly what she expects and what she’s thinking, because there is somewhat of a language barrier, but I can’t see paying her for three weeks of not working after she’s only been with me for two, and only plans on staying one more. And she wants even more than that ??

My friend said give her half a weeks pay and say goodbye because she is trying to take advantage of me. I feel badly, because she is distant family of our former nanny who I loved, and because I think she was depending on this job for her $$$. But on the other hand, I don’t think she was open with me at the beginning, and although I was not paying her the going rate for a full time live in, that’s not what I wanted or needed, its just how it worked out because of her own housing needs. And, its what we agreed to.

I don’t know if she expects to get full salary for three weeks of not working plus more than full salary for the third week or what. I don’t want to be unfair, but this is more stress and expense than its worth.

If anyone was able to follow that, what are your thoughts ??

I have paid her thus far for the two weeks she worked, and the first of the two weeks I was on vacation. She has not been paid for the second week of vacation and this week yet.

janeybwild
08-18-2006, 10:29 AM
This is tough, but I cannot see paying her any more money. Anyone who has only worked for you for 2 weeks does not get 2 weeks vacation pay IMO. That was very generous of you, and unbelievable to me that she would expect it. That being said, I would probably have paid her too, given that you had expectations of her continued employment. Now that has changed. She has to work off those two weeks. Somehow you have to find a way for a frank conversation. Figure out what you think is fair to pay off those 2 weeks. Is there any way you can do a 3 way call with someone who can act as a translator and get the expectation cleared up? This is so tough to lose a nanny you loved and then to have this happen. We had something similar happen after Dana was born, and it was so stressful. Hope you can work it out to everyone's advantage. Meantime, hang in there. You are due for some good stuff happening :)

KBecks
08-18-2006, 11:46 AM
I think it's fair to pay her for when she worked, so the 2 weeks you didn't really want her, but she worked, she gets paid.

Then, you agreed to paying for her while you're on vacation, but with the presumption she would be working for you longer. And you agreed she would help you with some moving (I don't really understand the specifics), but it sounds like she didn't hold up her end of the bargain.

I'd pay her for what she has done, or through the current time, and let her go immediately. And I'd tell her you offered the payment for the vacation because you expected a longer term relationship and since she's not staying, you now feel differently. I'd let her know as soon as possible your decision.

Unless you have any need for help coming up, then I think you need to re-evaluate and re-negotiate your agreement.

Don't worry about the other nanny, she's not coming back, and it's not like you're screwing her relative. You are trying to be fair to both parties.

ETA - I guess this is complicated because she is living with you. You'll have to figure a plan for the move-out also -- gosh, this is tough!! Good luck with whatever you do.

Also, a live-in is also a benefit to the employee, she doesn't have to pay for housing, so she's getting a rent-free place.... it's not like she's getting nothing out of the arrangement, so don't feel that bad for not paying more.