Teaching DS to stay by my side when out in public

[niccig]

I had a nightmare last night about losing DS, one moment he was beside me, the next he was a block down the street. This was very scary as it could happen - DS is fast, you turn around and he's gone and he seems to be all curiostiy and no fear. He's always in the stroller, shopping cart or holding my hand as I can't take my eyes off him. How can I start to teach him that he must stay by me without wandering off. I see other children doing this, granted they might be older, but I think DS will have difficulty staying with me in a store as he's just so curious.

Thanks, Nicci

Oh DS is nearly 20 months.

[niccig]

I had a nightmare last night about losing DS, one moment he was beside me, the next he was a block down the street. This was very scary as it could happen - DS is fast, you turn around and he's gone and he seems to be all curiostiy and no fear. He's always in the stroller, shopping cart or holding my hand as I can't take my eyes off him. How can I start to teach him that he must stay by me without wandering off. I see other children doing this, granted they might be older, but I think DS will have difficulty staying with me in a store as he's just so curious.

Thanks, Nicci

Oh DS is nearly 20 months.

[jesseandgrace]

Nicci,

I have to say some of that is just personality. I'm sure parents with kids next to them all the time will say it is good parenting, and I'm sure they are good parents, but those of us with very curious kids can talk until we are blue in the face, parent perfectly, parent badly, and our kids will wander. Basically I have told my three year old who never rides in a stroller that she must in big stores, and that she must be in the cart in big stores like Target. I tell her in advance, and I make her agree before we go. With my ds it is even harder, he is now almost 6, and I've had the same problem since he was younder than your ds. I usually shop with him if I don't need to do much, or if my dh is there also (now that he is in school I really don't need to take him shopping). My dh was with him once when he was about 20 months in Toys R Us, and he dashed off and ran under this little fence thing my dh couldn't get under, my dh went around to get him and he was already gone. I was in line. I ran out of the line and we were running all around looking in the huge toys R us and he was GONE. Finally I heard a scream and him yelling "mamma". He had been LEAVING the store and the doors closed on him, he must not have been big enough to register on the automatic door system, so they shut right on him. If he had gotten outside I can't even imagine, it was dark and right in front of the store is really busy with thru traffic from the parking lot. I was beyond upset, so I really understand your fears. I suggest using a stroller wherever you go that might be chaotic, or get one of those arm band things if you are comfortable with that. My kids didn't like the stroller well before two, so I never use it for walks or short errands, but busy places like airports, and malls and big stores I definitely would.

[niccig]

Thanks for your reply. That must have so scary losing your DS in the store.

I love that DS is curious but it scares me as well. We were at the beach last week, and sitting about 75 ft from the water. DS starts to head to the water. DH starts after him, DS starts to run and he's fast, so does DH and before you know it DS is at the water's edge and DH just got there in time to stop him going in. He then did the same thing back up the beach heading towards the road. We also don't want him to think that it's a game to run away from mummy and daddy. He knows to hold my hand when we're walking but in a store, that's not always possible as I need to pick things up. Once he let's go of my hand, he's off.

I think you're right that the answer is to keep him in the stroller or shopping cart as much as possible. I also have a backpack leash doggy toy that many people talked about last year on the Around The House forum.

Nicci

[KrisM]

Some will come with age. At 20 months, I could not have DS walk as he took off all the time. Now, at 27 months, he does a pretty good job. He willingly holds my hand and mostly stays near me. He's not perfect, but is good enough that he is allowed to walk quite often. I think what made a difference was that now he understands his options. He can either walk nicely next to me, or he has to get into the cart/stroller. He much prefers walking.

[Saartje]

>I also have a
>backpack leash doggy toy that many people talked about last
>year on the Around The House forum.

I was just about to suggest this; I prefer this to keeping a child who wants to walk and explore in a cart or stroller at all times, since this gives them a safe, limited range in which to explore. Plus, all that walking can make for great naps. ;)

(For the record, I'm not at all against the use of strollers and carts -- I just like to see them being an option rather than the sole option.)

[Wife_and_mommy]

I started working with DD around 20M. The options were walking nicely(ie not running away) or sit in the stroller.

She willingly holds onto the stroller as she walks now even when I don't want her to, lol. I take the double out with us when I'm alone but really she only sits in it for about 45 min of a 2-2.5 hr. outing.

Hth. It'll come as long as you work on it.



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