What's with the "silent trantrum" and the sobbing?

[swampnurse]

To all you veteran mothers of toddlers, maybe you can shed some light on this and offer suggestions.

My son just turned two and has started what we call the "silent tantrum". Thank goodness it's silent! Anyway, whenever he is reprimanded or somehow offended or just doesn't feel like going along w/ the plan, he drops to the ground on his belly facing away from us and pouts. No screaming, crying, etc. and he eventually gets up and gets over it. how would you handle this? ignore him? Sometimes i humor him by pretending he is hiding and then he smiles, but it is actually pretty annoying especially when he does it in public.

His other new trick is the sobbing. If he doesn't get what he wants and he apparently isn't in the mood for the silent thing, he'll just break out sobbing and cling to me or his dad. Like tonight when he didn't want to come into the house or last night when dad said he couldn't bring his olf club into the house. My instinct is to ignore him because it is obviosuly a fake sob and can easily and instantly be stopped by giving in, which i will not do. I know it can be stopped instantly b/c his father has given in once or twice. But if he is ignored, he clings to us even harder and follows us around sobbing. THEN i feel like a terrible mother!

He has been the model child until now, the one that makes all my friends jealous. He is showing his true toddler colors now though. please help!

[Saartje]

I'd ignore these behaviors as much as possible, so you don't reinforce them by giving him attention for it. For the fake sobbing, I'd probably tell him very calmly that it's not nice to try to manipulate someone to get his way — and then proceed to ignore him (or else ignore the behavior, and treat him exactly as you would if he weren't fake-sobbing) until he stopped. No, he won't understand what you're saying the first time (or the 12th!), but saying the same thing and reacting the same way every time will eventually get the message across, as well as make the whole thing very boring for him.

(By the way, Ish also did the silent tantrum when he was about 18-24 months, so your son's not the only one. I also remember someone posting here that her son's idea of having a tantrum was to lie down on the floor and be very still and very quiet, and that they were trying desperately not to laugh and let him know that it didn't bother them in the least that he did that.)

[swampnurse]

Thanks. I trid that today, so we'll see. Anyone else have suggestions for the sobbing thing? It has gotten worse today and he breaks out sobbing at the smallest things.

[Saartje]

I hope it works for you. Just thought I'd add that my suggestions are in no way an instant fix, and that of course you'll have to see how your child reacts to things and tailor your responses accordingly. But you probably knew that already. :)