A response from the Mods

[Marisa6826]

I have spoken with Alan and Denise. It seems that pictures were allegedly lifted from here, as well as personal websites, and possibly edited/manipulated for less than innocent reasons.

Unfortunately, these edited pictures were posted on a private Message Board, to which we don't have access. This means that the Fields nor the Mods can access and view the photos, nor can anything be done about it. It's a private Board, which the Fields have no control over.

Every so often a reminder needs to be made that the BBB is a PUBLIC Board. That means that anybody - whether a registered user or not - can view what is posted here. That includes people that may have been banned, or suspended, or have just chosen not to register.

It's very easy to 'forget' that this is a public space, since many of us call the BBB our 'home'. DO NOT POST ANYTHING HERE THAT YOU DON'T WANT MADE PUBLIC. That includes photos, threads, responses, etc.

Sadly, in this day and age, prudence is alway necessary. What's done is done. We can't go back in time and switch things around. Any photos that have been posted in the past are already out there in cyberland. Going back and attempting to delete them will do nothing but bump everything forward. If the photos have been there for weeks/months, the 'damage' has already been done. So, please, do be careful in what you post online. It IS there for all to see - whether you remember or not.

-Marisa, Jeanne and the Fields

[KBecks]

Just wanted to add that it's not known for sure whether what was described actually happened, or whether it is some sort of rumour. So, no one really seems to know if there was "damage done" or not.

That said, there is always potential for any photos or other content posted publicly to be abused, so whether this was a real incident or not, something like this could happen or could have happened at any time, and it's possible that posters would never know their content had been lifted for misuse.

Anyway, if anything, this incident is a good reminder to be aware of the public nature of the forums.

Thanks to the mods and the Fields for a quick response to everyone's concerns.

[Jenn98]

I have two questions, which I ask in all seriousness and not to be rude or sound like an idiot. I really am wondering:

1). Why are we public? Is there much advantage to being public vs private? I understand wanting the valuable info the BBB provides available to the masses, but is there any other advantage to public than that? But then again, even if it were private how would we prevent trolls, right?

2). So, they (possibly) got some photos of cute kids and did gross stuff with them in photoshop. So? Although I am appalled and think that ought to be a crime, how does that really affect me personally? I am horrified at the thought of images being used for such yucky things, but I'm struggling with how that could harm me or my DC? I can see if they got personal info about me and were either attempting to locate me and DC or do some sort of identity theft, but what harm is there to me if they misuse a photo?

Thanks for educating me...

ETA: Okay, I read the locked thread closer and I understand the (alleged) photos were not being used as pornographic images, which is what I originally thought. I get it now. My questions are answered. Please excuse the mommy brain!

[maestramommy]

I'm a little unclear as to how pictures were lifted from personal websites. You mean because some of us provide a link to our websites in our siggie?

[kellyotn]

>DO NOT POST ANYTHING HERE
>THAT YOU DON'T WANT MADE PUBLIC. That includes photos,
>threads, responses, etc.

This is good advice. I have no idea about the situation at hand, but on another board I view, there was a big to-do about members realizing that people from a third board were pilfering pictures of kids and claiming them as their own on that third board. People recognized the kids and called them on it. I think it turned out to be teenagers pretending to be moms or something (but, who really knows?). It was weird. No matter if its here, another message board, on your blog, or from a photo hosting site - if you put stuff out there be prepared that it can be pilfered for any reason at all - innocent or not so innocent. Its creepy, but always a possibility.

If someone here is manipulating pics of people that they know, that's sad and a breech of trust. But, always always be aware that any stranger could be doing the same.

[pritchettzoo]

Just an FYI, the email that is being forwarded to anyone who asks for it might be libelous and actionable. It might be prudent to stop forwarding it around.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03) and Eli (July '05)

[Rachels]

People can draw their own conclusions. What would you think, Anna? Either this is happening and it was assumed that we would never hear about it, or somebody has spent a tremendous amount of time and energy coming up with incredible specifics to implicate Rashmi. Neither sound too good, do they?

My job here is to protect my children. I will not play games about this. I'm going off the information that I have and exercising the most caution possible. Don't threaten me.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[pritchettzoo]

Or the person who sent it has an axe to grind with Rashmi. Of course private boards exist. If they're a spinoff of the BBB, of course things on the BBB, a *public* board are discussed. I mean, there are bunches of BBB spin offs that I know about and I'm not even active here hardly any more. Going back to the older days, there's your group, which I'd be willing to bet has discussed BBB before, there's Rashmi's group, there is or was Camp WTF, there are the clothing spinoffs, etcetera, etcetera.

Your job is to protect your children, but no children are being harmed here. If you seriously thought CHILDREN were being harmed, you'd be calling the FBI, not spreading "anonymous" information. Don't you remember the last brouhaha with you and anonymous information? How did you enjoy that?

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03) and Eli (July '05)

[slknight]

>People can draw their own conclusions. What would you think,
>Anna? Either this is happening and it was assumed that we
>would never hear about it, or somebody has spent a tremendous
>amount of time and energy coming up with incredible specifics
>to implicate Rashmi. Neither sound too good, do they?
>
>My job here is to protect my children. I will not play games
>about this. I'm going off the information that I have and
>exercising the most caution possible. Don't threaten me.

I don't think anyone is threatening you. But what exactly do you have? An ANONYMOUS e-mail. I don't think that spreading rumors from an anonymous e-mail is really going to help the situation. That doesn't sound too good either, does it?

[Saartje]

>Just an FYI, the email that is being forwarded to anyone who
>asks for it might be libelous and actionable. It might be
>prudent to stop forwarding it around.

Anna, I don't remember what you do for a living, so you may be a lawyer and know far more about this than I do. However, it is my understanding of libel that saying, "I received this message. I thought everyone should be aware of it" is a statement of fact and not of something open to debate, unless you are accusing Rachel of being the author of the message in question.

[pritchettzoo]

That's why I said might be. If I got an anonymous email saying that you were a child molester and I forwarded it to everyone and their goat on the BBB just "in case," I would hope you'd have some action against me.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03) and Eli (July '05)

[buddyleebaby]

Can we plezse all remember that if in fact this did happen, they are still just pictures?
Yes, it is crude, mean-spirited, and hurtful.
But our children are all safely at home with us, and that is the important thing. The only way this will affect them is if their mamas start acting sad, angry, etc.

[s7714]

If the private message board in question was set up through a message board provider, please consider contacting the message board provider. While they are not in any way responsible for the content of their user's boards, they will often shut down boards that are potentially doing something illegal (or if they get enough complaints).

Jennifer
Mommy to
Miss Pure Energy 3/03
Miss Antsy-Pants 6/05

Calling fellow BBB SoCal moms...we'd love to meet you!
(100 posts & BBB member for 3 months req'd)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/babybargainssocal/

[Rachels]

I don't care how it sounds, frankly. Offshoot groups don't bother me in the slightest; people stealing photos of children do. I got an email giving me a lengthy and very specific warning. I understood that the two possibilities were that 1) it was true and 2) that someone has, as Anna said, an axe to grind. The latter is why I did not give out any names when I posted. But like I said, if it's true, if someone who is highly trusted here is stealing and manipulating photos of kids, well, I don't trust that there would be ANY reasonable boundary. It brought the safety issue to light again and raised a lot of legitimate concerns. I did not draw any conclusions; I shared the exact information that was shared with me.

This is not in the slightest the first time that I've heard back about nasty off-board comments and communications about me, and like I said, people are welcome to it. I don't love it, but so it goes. But this was about kids, and that feels different to me.

If you think that someone with an axe to grind decided to try to get at Rashmi by emailing me a lot of bizarre details in the hopes that I would I would publish them to the board and thus get Rashmi's goat, okay. I assume you'd then also think that such a person was just ridiculous and that it was flatly untrue. The other conclusion is that this is factual. I'm not telling you what to think.

This is all such a load of crap, you know? I'm in my mid-thirties, for heaven's sake. When seventh grade wore off, I sort of assumed it was over, but look! Shazam! Here we are again!

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[pritchettzoo]

As to why YOU were sent the email? You're no longer a moderator. If there weren't any pictures of your children attached, why would you be included in the warning?

I think you were hand-picked, knowing that you would post something here. I think you were played by the anonymous coward to publish their horsecrap. At least I hope you were played and you weren't a party to it.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03) and Eli (July '05)

[dhano923]

I haven't seen the pictures in question, but I just wanted to say that it is very easy for a third party find a BBB member and point fingers at them. They probably chose Rashmi because she has posted several times that she is good with Photoshop, etc and people repeatedly ask for her help with photo editing help. It makes her a good target.

Just remember that in cyberspace, it's very easy to manipulate things so it looks like someone is doing wrong, when in actuality they haven't done anything. It's kind of like spoof emails -- they look like they come from eBay or Paypal, when they are actually coming from Mr. Spammer.

[Rachels]

Don't know. Don't care. I for damn sure wasn't a party to it, and don't suggest otherwise while in the same breath warning me about slander. This whole thing is outrageous, and most people here know it regardless of what they think the story is.

-Rachel
Mama to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

and Ethan James
10/19/05
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bf.jpg


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya

[sdbc]

Um, what happened? What were pictures allegedly used for?? What is everyone talking about--"not so inocent purposes"???? I'm concerned and I don't know what is going on.

Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[holliam]

I think the suggestion was that they were used to make fun of other BBB members.

The off-shoot groups never made me comfortable because they usually cannot resist talking about this group. It never made any sense to me. If people form an off-shoot group because they are friends, that makes total sense. But to have nothing better to do than to talk about people on the main BBB who they don't like, that does not make any sense to me.

But, mostly I feel sorry for the people who have the need to do that because they must be very lonely. That's very sad to me.

Holli

[sdbc]

Thanks Holli. I didn't see the other thread, and so of course my imagination immediately made me think of child porn. What you described is still really mean (and creepy), but not as worrisome to me.

Blech.

Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[boys2enough]

Marisa and Jeanne,

First of all let me say thank you to you both for taking on the duty as mods. Thankless job, I am sure. Now thorny issues like this one. {{{hugs}}}

Just want to make a request: I think someone from BBB, who has been nothing but generous and kind and fun to be around, has been inadvertently wrongfully accused of something nefarious. If you do find anything, could you please post something "official" to clear her name?

I can't imagine how upsetting this must be to be wrongfully accused of doing something like this.


Cheers, Lin
Mom to 2 wild boys
D 3/98
G 11/02

[Jenn98]

I agree that we should not be tossing around any names without POSITIVE proof. I for one, have no clue as to what is actually going on, but my heart goes out to Rashmi, and Rachel and everyone who is concerned. I just think it's a good idea to let the people in charge do their jobs and take care of business before we have any more hurt feelings. I know we all have the best intentions and we all want the best for our children, that's not in question.

[AngelaS]

So who's part of this board where the pictures were lifted to? How come no one from that board has come forward to clear things and say "no, that's not really how things happened?"

And exactly what was done to the pictures? I'm rather confused.

One more thought...I knew I wasn't part of the cheerleader clique around here, but I was clueless there were so many offshoot boards, since I've never been asked to join one. Sigh....

(LOL)

[trumansmom]

Come on, folks.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04