OT: Would you ask your friend if she received your wedding gift?

[wencit]

One of my closest friends was married in mid-May. She's normally very good about writing thank-you notes, but it's now 3 1/2 months later, and I have yet to hear a peep from her. I'm wondering if she even received my gift at all. I don't want her to think that I didn't give her a wedding gift, but at the same time, I don't want to embarrass her if she hasn't gotten around to writing her TY notes. Granted, she's been very busy these past few months (finished residency, went on her honeymoon, moved across the country, and got pregnant!), but she recently mentioned in one of her e-mails that she's pretty bored these days. I know she's also studying for her board exams in early September.

Being her close friend, I can understand that I might be one of the last people she writes a thank-you card to, and I normally wouldn't care that much if I didn't receive a note from someone. However, I bought her a fairly nice gift (Henckels knife set) and now I'm wondering if she even got my wedding present at all. I don't want her to think that I didn't buy her something for her wedding! Would you ask her if she received it? If so, how would you go about doing it, and how long would you wait?

Thanks in advance!

[psophia17]

I would.

When I got married, one of my Mum's friends never got her TY note, and my Mom gave me heck about it. I complained about it to a friend, and she hadn't gotten her TY note, either. I ended up calling everyone on the list to make sure, and there were 15 people (out of 100) that didn't get theirs...it was very embarassing, and I never would've known if someone hadn't asked...

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

Maybe you could ask her about the gift in a roundabout way if you are uncomfortable just coming out and asking. Maybe when you talk to her (or in an email) say you were thinking about getting yourself a new knife set and ask her opinion of the one you gave her. That way you don't have to embarass her if she hasn't gotten to writing a thank you while still making sure she actually received the gift!

HTH!

[saschalicks]

Erica,
I would ask politely.

Here's an example: My SIL/BIL are terrible at telling me when the kids receive their gifts. I am always sending them gifts for their b-days and for the holidays. I wish I could say the same for them to our kids, but that is a whole other thread. Just today I e-mailed her and said "did you get the gift or should I contact (insert name) b/c they said that it was shipped 2 weeks ago?" I don't really blame her she's busy as a WAHM, and has 4 kids under 6, but I still don't want to be out money if they didn't receive anything. I think if you pose the question correctly, she'll get the hint, and then you'll know one way or another.

[mamalia]

Yes, a close friend would know you weren't being snotty about it and even if you were they wouldn't care anyway! :) I did have shipping issues with one of the wedding presents I sent - part of it came THREE months late. Maybe in your next email ask how the henckels are holding up?

Malia

[sdbc]

Yes, I would ask her straight up. There's no need to hint around. If she said she got it but just didn't send the TY yet, I'd assure her it was fine and probably even tell her a note wasn't necessary, but I just wanted to make sure she received it. A good friend wouldn't assume you were mad about the TY.

[ciaobella]

Yes - ask! I too am really good at writing thank you notes and a co-worker / mentor at my old job sent a gift via a department store that I did not receive. When she didn't get a thank you note, she asked me about it and I explained that I had not received the gift. She was able to follow up with the store and get it taken care of.

If she did receive it and she is just late in sending the note, I don't think a close friend would thing it was in poor taste that you asked.

[jadamom]

Great idea! If she's a good friend, go ahead and ask her how she liked the gift. I sent my friend a Bday gift from Anthropologie. 1 month later, I asked her if she had received it, and she said no. Thankfully, they refunded me, and I sent her something else.

[wencit]

All right, I'll go ahead and ask her the next chance I get how she likes the knife set. I like that idea.

Thanks again, everyone!