What did you do to prepare your toddler for a new baby?

[punkrockmama]

Wondering as that's us right now. Peyton knows all about the new baby (obvious, right) and has been active in decisions for them. I had him pick out a present from him to them by himself. He chose a stuffed monkey. I have a gift waiting for him from the baby when we come home from the hospital.

He also helped Dh put the new crib together, holding hardware for him, etc...He has a framed ultrasound pic on his dresser of "his baby". Peyton also "helped" paint the nursery, nice idea, but it got pretty crazy. :) He talks to the baby every day. Stuff like that

I just want to make sure that it goes as smoothly as it can. Peyton is pretty attached to me (aren't they all?) and I worry that he'll feel bad or left out. I know that when you have more than one, some one always gets the shaft to some extent no matter how hard you try, I really think that's true and okay. But things are so crazy in the early days with a newborn and I am scared he won't get enough attention. And then I worry that I'll overcompensate and give him too much!!

Advice, words of wisdom, or cocktail recipes are very welcome. :)

[punkrockmama]

Wondering as that's us right now. Peyton knows all about the new baby (obvious, right) and has been active in decisions for them. I had him pick out a present from him to them by himself. He chose a stuffed monkey. I have a gift waiting for him from the baby when we come home from the hospital.

He also helped Dh put the new crib together, holding hardware for him, etc...He has a framed ultrasound pic on his dresser of "his baby". Peyton also "helped" paint the nursery, nice idea, but it got pretty crazy. :) He talks to the baby every day. Stuff like that

I just want to make sure that it goes as smoothly as it can. Peyton is pretty attached to me (aren't they all?) and I worry that he'll feel bad or left out. I know that when you have more than one, some one always gets the shaft to some extent no matter how hard you try, I really think that's true and okay. But things are so crazy in the early days with a newborn and I am scared he won't get enough attention. And then I worry that I'll overcompensate and give him too much!!

Advice, words of wisdom, or cocktail recipes are very welcome. :)

[megs4413]

well...if you're really interested...i think Dr. Cuervo has a lot to say on this topic.....www.TEQUILA.com :P

[megs4413]

well...if you're really interested...i think Dr. Cuervo has a lot to say on this topic.....www.TEQUILA.com :P

[punkrockmama]

^^Girl, please. How did you know? I love the fire water. LOL, I'm no lush or anything but when I drink it's tequila for sure.

[punkrockmama]

^^Girl, please. How did you know? I love the fire water. LOL, I'm no lush or anything but when I drink it's tequila for sure.

[megs4413]

i haven't had a drink in years (why am i nonstop pregnant???) but if and when i get to do it again....it's Cuervo for sure...

i had a crazy preggo dream that DH and i went and took tequila shots at a bar and then i realized...CRAP..i'm pregnant this is not good! like i had just forgotten and gone to the bar! I'm completely mortified even though it didn't really happen....

[megs4413]

i haven't had a drink in years (why am i nonstop pregnant???) but if and when i get to do it again....it's Cuervo for sure...

i had a crazy preggo dream that DH and i went and took tequila shots at a bar and then i realized...CRAP..i'm pregnant this is not good! like i had just forgotten and gone to the bar! I'm completely mortified even though it didn't really happen....

[mudder17]

Actually, it sounds like you've done a lot of the right things. I don't remember how old Peyton is, but it does sound like you've been preparing him. No matter what, there's going to be some transition, but I think if you make sure that Peyton gets some mommy time, separate from the baby on a daily basis, he will do fine. I think my cousin told me that she's been arranging it so that at least once a week, she'll go out somewhere with just her first one and they'll do something while the baby is looked after by daddy or someone else. So I think I'll do something like that as well. Yes, a lot of times, I will have both with me or just the baby, but I want to make sure Kaya knows she has her special time with me as well. Oh, and Kaya is waiting for the baby to bring more mama milk since my supply is pretty low these days. :P


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 30 months...

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http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[mudder17]

Actually, it sounds like you've done a lot of the right things. I don't remember how old Peyton is, but it does sound like you've been preparing him. No matter what, there's going to be some transition, but I think if you make sure that Peyton gets some mommy time, separate from the baby on a daily basis, he will do fine. I think my cousin told me that she's been arranging it so that at least once a week, she'll go out somewhere with just her first one and they'll do something while the baby is looked after by daddy or someone else. So I think I'll do something like that as well. Yes, a lot of times, I will have both with me or just the baby, but I want to make sure Kaya knows she has her special time with me as well. Oh, and Kaya is waiting for the baby to bring more mama milk since my supply is pretty low these days. :P


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 30 months...

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http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[casey118]

My DS's are 2 years and 4 months apart. One thing my ped advised is for each parent to spend at least 15 minutes (solid block) alone with your older child. DS1 acted out a bit by wanting to over-love (read, smother) the baby, and we found that the extra attention helped.

One other thing, we also had the baby give a gift to DS1 in the hospital the first time DS came to meet his little brother. It was a small blanket I had made, but DS1 still talks about the gift baby brother gave him.

Good luck!

[Wife_and_mommy]

Will you have family or someone available to him while you recover? My MIL came to stay and kept DD busy busy busy. She pretty much didn't care about me except at night because she was so entertained. It was very helpful not to worry about her.

She also loves helping with him, i.e. dressing him, changing him, pushing him in the stroller and holding his hand when he's upset. I'd encourage that behavior when it's not driving you nuts. ;)



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[punkrockmama]

Thanks guys. I think that's a good idea, to get out of the house with him and spend some just us time.

Peyton was a pretty easy delivery, no complications so I'm hoping the same will be true with this one so I can hit the ground runnin'

Yeah, my mom is close by but there's some drama there so I don't know what her role will be just yet. Dh will also be taking time off so he'll help too and they're good buddies so they can stay occupied nicely :). I just worry as he's still nursing (he'll be three in Jan.) and while he says now he wants to share nummies, well he might change his mind when he actually has to,lol.

Thanks again!

[brittone2]

I'm kinda there w/ you. DS is 2.5, will be almost 3 when the baby arrives. He's still nursing, says he'll "share w/ baby sister" but I wonder how that will go in reality ;) We also still cosleep with him, and upgraded to a King bed for this time around. I'd love for us to all cosleep together, but not sure how much the baby will wake at night (DS wasn't much of a night waker as long as he was cosleeping and near a boob ;) ) We may end up with DH and DS in our queen bed (different room) and the baby and I in the King bed until things settle down.

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing yet? I picked that up recently and I think it will be a good resource.

I'm not sure how much we can prepare them. DS will be 3 in Feb. so right around Peyton's age. He seems excited, but I don't think their little minds can wrap around what is about to happen (frankly, mine can't either LOL).

I think we're going to do a present for him from the baby, and vice versa. He seems interested in picking something out for baby sister.

It will be very interesting to see how things go. My guy is still very into being held, nursed, cuddled, body contact, etc. and doing that with two will certainly not be an easy task.

[mcdonald29]

SIL gave us "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole last Christmas and DS really loved it -he learned about feeding the baby, changing the diaper, why he cries, etc. I would recommend it.

http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Brother-Joanna-Cole/dp/0688145078/sr=1-1/qid=1159415092/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-3525505-7269532?ie=UTF8&s=books

[cmdunn1972]

Hmmm... My cocktail recipe is... Just kidding! :)

Only having had one child, there's not much I can add except maybe it'd be a good idea to instruct Peyton to please not smear poop on the new baby. The walls and crib OTOH are fair game! }( Artwork like that is especially appreciated if the artwork involves airplanes and he remembers to say "Please". ;)

[crAbbymom]

We had Abby (20 months at the time) help make a big sister shirt. She was very excited about Tessa! So much so that on the day we brought Tessa home, we weren't surprised that she went to give her a kiss on the cheek.....And BIT HER!!!!:o Poor 2 day old baby with teeth marks on her cheek for days!! x( Kinda funny now, but boy were we shocked. I don't really remember any other "issues" with her being jealous, though...Just normal stuff now that they are older.

[mudder17]

Yep, we're in exactly the same boat. The baby has already gotten Kaya something and Kaya knows what it will be but is expecting it when the baby comes. She also knows that after the baby comes, we'll get to fly to Florida, which she's been talking about. We haven't gotten anything for the baby together (never occurred to me), but that's not a bad idea. Maybe a couple weeks beforehand I'll go shopping with her.

As for the nursing, yep, Kaya is still nursing and although she was losing interest, she is now back to asking for it at random times, and not just before bedtime. She knows that the baby will bring more mommy milk (since my supply is super low right now) and I think she's excited about that. I haven't looked into Adventures in Tandem Nursing, but that's partly because I picked up Mothering your Nursing Toddler and I haven't read much past skimming it, LOL!

I'm not sure I will do tandem nursing in the sense that I would nurse them both at the same time, but I will continue letting Kaya nurse at least once a day. I think she'll like having the alone time with me, in any case.

Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 30 months...

http://www.tickercentral.com/view/6wrn/1.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev317pp___.png

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[jacksmomtobe]

I would definitely recommend reading Big Brother books. The Joanna Cole one is great. I had a whole stack of big brother books that we read each night before bed. Another good one is the "What to Expect" book about being a big brother. DS had me skip some pages but overall the ideas were helpful. I think it's good for the older child to understand that the baby will cry and the reason they do that is because that is the only way they know how to communicate. I also highly recommend having someone help you out the first few weeks. I hate having someone else do things for me but we ended up having a sitter come full time M-F for 3 wks and it really made the transition better. I had a csection so I also had this person do errands for me during which time I spent time reading w/ds. It was a nice way to be able to spend time with each child one on one without having the other child sacrifice. It was also good since the Sitter got DS out & about. Let him run around the yard, etc.

FYI it really seems easier the 2nd time around.

Good Luck,