Daycare Mamas: Questions...

[randomkid]

DD just started in a large daycare center in August at 19 months old. She was in an in-home daycare, but the DCP only keeps them until 2yo and we had to take a spot when it became available.

DD loves it there and I really have seen her grow in just the short time she's been going. However, she is now on her 4th illness in 2 months (which would have been five, but I kept her out a week when they all had bronchitis). I called today to let the teacher know that I'm keeping her home another day and now the teacher is sick with a cold. DD just had a fever and sore throat, so I'm sure this is a different illness. I know kids get sick in daycare, but this is ridiculous! Six illnesses in 2 months. Does this seem a bit extreme? We live in FL, so it's really not cold and flu season here yet. No one in our family has been sick, so I'm pretty sure that DD would not have had all of this had she not been going there. If it's this bad now, what happens this winter?

Everyone says this gets better, but when? Should I stick it out or look for something else? I am actively looking for an alternative right now, but I am so torn. DD is very social and loves the interaction, the learning and the playtime. She cried and fought me one day when I didn't leave her because the kids all had diarrhea. We showed up and left and DD just cried and cried wanting to stay.

It seems any of the good in-home DCPs have no openings and it's just too expensive to have someone come to the house.

What are your experiences with this? I just can't continue with DD getting something different every week! Not only that, when she is sick, I can't work which makes it very difficult to continue paying the daycare. Of course, there is no allowance for illness and I still have to pay the full rate whether she is there or not.

Thanks,

[randomkid]

DD just started in a large daycare center in August at 19 months old. She was in an in-home daycare, but the DCP only keeps them until 2yo and we had to take a spot when it became available.

DD loves it there and I really have seen her grow in just the short time she's been going. However, she is now on her 4th illness in 2 months (which would have been five, but I kept her out a week when they all had bronchitis). I called today to let the teacher know that I'm keeping her home another day and now the teacher is sick with a cold. DD just had a fever and sore throat, so I'm sure this is a different illness. I know kids get sick in daycare, but this is ridiculous! Six illnesses in 2 months. Does this seem a bit extreme? We live in FL, so it's really not cold and flu season here yet. No one in our family has been sick, so I'm pretty sure that DD would not have had all of this had she not been going there. If it's this bad now, what happens this winter?

Everyone says this gets better, but when? Should I stick it out or look for something else? I am actively looking for an alternative right now, but I am so torn. DD is very social and loves the interaction, the learning and the playtime. She cried and fought me one day when I didn't leave her because the kids all had diarrhea. We showed up and left and DD just cried and cried wanting to stay.

It seems any of the good in-home DCPs have no openings and it's just too expensive to have someone come to the house.

What are your experiences with this? I just can't continue with DD getting something different every week! Not only that, when she is sick, I can't work which makes it very difficult to continue paying the daycare. Of course, there is no allowance for illness and I still have to pay the full rate whether she is there or not.

Thanks,

[SquamLake]

Although we are not in the exact situation as you, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We have a nanny, but I am fortunate to have a back up daycare at my office, which I use when the nanny is not available. Our DD is 14 months old and in the time I went back to work (DD was 4 months old) she has been to the daycare numerous times. Every time I have had to drop DD off at the daycare center, I prepare myself for a cold. Almost on queue she gets one within 3 - 4 days of her visit.

It sounds to me that in a large daycare situation this is common until your DD's immune system catches up. I know that doesn't bring much comfort, I certainly would be at my wits end if I was facing cold number 5 in a 2 month period. If it helps any, tell yourself that by the time she is school age, she should be immune to almost everything.

[SquamLake]

Although we are not in the exact situation as you, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We have a nanny, but I am fortunate to have a back up daycare at my office, which I use when the nanny is not available. Our DD is 14 months old and in the time I went back to work (DD was 4 months old) she has been to the daycare numerous times. Every time I have had to drop DD off at the daycare center, I prepare myself for a cold. Almost on queue she gets one within 3 - 4 days of her visit.

It sounds to me that in a large daycare situation this is common until your DD's immune system catches up. I know that doesn't bring much comfort, I certainly would be at my wits end if I was facing cold number 5 in a 2 month period. If it helps any, tell yourself that by the time she is school age, she should be immune to almost everything.

[Zana]

I'm afraid there is no happy answer to this! DS started daycare at 12mths in Texas in April and had a cold/fever/cough (and roseola!) every 2nd or 3rd week for almost 4 mths. He would literally recover from one and then get another. His ped told me that first time they start daycare to expect it for about 3-6mths.

After the awful first 4 mths, he was fine and when winter came around he did have a few colds but nothing as continuous and then once our short texas winter was over he hasnt had an infection yet this year(knock on wood!) - he actually didnt even catch a cold from DH and me when we both caught something at work, LOL!

So my advice would be to hang in there and see if gets better, it usually does! It really sucks for work, because DH could never get time off and I was the one always off from work, but then I chose my job for just that flexibility...I totally understand how frustrating it is to not only take the day off but the next day too cos you cant take them back in again.

[Zana]

I'm afraid there is no happy answer to this! DS started daycare at 12mths in Texas in April and had a cold/fever/cough (and roseola!) every 2nd or 3rd week for almost 4 mths. He would literally recover from one and then get another. His ped told me that first time they start daycare to expect it for about 3-6mths.

After the awful first 4 mths, he was fine and when winter came around he did have a few colds but nothing as continuous and then once our short texas winter was over he hasnt had an infection yet this year(knock on wood!) - he actually didnt even catch a cold from DH and me when we both caught something at work, LOL!

So my advice would be to hang in there and see if gets better, it usually does! It really sucks for work, because DH could never get time off and I was the one always off from work, but then I chose my job for just that flexibility...I totally understand how frustrating it is to not only take the day off but the next day too cos you cant take them back in again.

[Jen841]

Sorry, no magical cure! We have 2 in, and they seem to have illnesses in waves. I was happy to report we went almost 6 months without a "sick" visit to the Ped.

Our Chicago DC gave you a reduced rate if you knew you would be out for a few days in advance. Here the coordinator (now gone/fired) gave us a week free due to one being out for 2 weeks.

DH and I alternate caring for the kids as appropriate. It stinks, but they say now or later, so we are picking now.

[Jen841]

Sorry, no magical cure! We have 2 in, and they seem to have illnesses in waves. I was happy to report we went almost 6 months without a "sick" visit to the Ped.

Our Chicago DC gave you a reduced rate if you knew you would be out for a few days in advance. Here the coordinator (now gone/fired) gave us a week free due to one being out for 2 weeks.

DH and I alternate caring for the kids as appropriate. It stinks, but they say now or later, so we are picking now.

[lilycat88]

We're on our third daycare situation. DD was at a small church facility where she was one of 3-4 until she was 14 months old and then we moved her to a large facility where she was one of 8-10 and now she is in another daycare/preschool facility where she is one of up to 15 in a class. In my experience, starting a new facility is the worst time. There are new bugs floating around and remember, you're dealing with all of the bugs floating around in all of the schools the siblings go to as well. Unfortunatly, in our experience, the first couple of months can be like that.

That being said...

I wonder about the illness policy. Diarrhea is an automatic exclusion at every daycare we've been at. Also, a fever of over 101. If an entire class had diarrhea, I'd be more concerned about them all being allowed to be there. You might check on their infection control policies such as hand washing. DDs current preschool is militant with handwashing. Hands are washed when they come in first thing in the morning and many many times during the day. Handwashing is the single most important method of preventing illnesses from spreading.

My final thought is actually one from our pediatrician. She said that if you put a ticker on each child's bottom that by the time they were in 2nd grade, they will have all had the same number of illnesses. The only difference is that the kids in daycare will have had them earlier and built up their immune system earlier and wouldn't miss school as much as kids who had never been in a group care situation.

Hang in there.

Jamelin
DD Susanna 6/29/04

[lilycat88]

We're on our third daycare situation. DD was at a small church facility where she was one of 3-4 until she was 14 months old and then we moved her to a large facility where she was one of 8-10 and now she is in another daycare/preschool facility where she is one of up to 15 in a class. In my experience, starting a new facility is the worst time. There are new bugs floating around and remember, you're dealing with all of the bugs floating around in all of the schools the siblings go to as well. Unfortunatly, in our experience, the first couple of months can be like that.

That being said...

I wonder about the illness policy. Diarrhea is an automatic exclusion at every daycare we've been at. Also, a fever of over 101. If an entire class had diarrhea, I'd be more concerned about them all being allowed to be there. You might check on their infection control policies such as hand washing. DDs current preschool is militant with handwashing. Hands are washed when they come in first thing in the morning and many many times during the day. Handwashing is the single most important method of preventing illnesses from spreading.

My final thought is actually one from our pediatrician. She said that if you put a ticker on each child's bottom that by the time they were in 2nd grade, they will have all had the same number of illnesses. The only difference is that the kids in daycare will have had them earlier and built up their immune system earlier and wouldn't miss school as much as kids who had never been in a group care situation.

Hang in there.

Jamelin
DD Susanna 6/29/04

[Lmoor]

I really feel your pain. My DD started in day care at 6 months, and for the first 9 weeks, we were all sick for 8 of them. And my DD had RSV that first winter, and then was on a nebulizer for our first 2 winters. We're just heading into our 3rd winter, and while she's still got a snotty nose a lot, it's usually not much more than that anymore. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping we're done with the nebulizer full time throughout the winter.

I agree with PP though. You shouldn't have to be the one afraid to drop your kid off. The DCP should ensure that the other kids don't have anything more than colds. A room full of diarrhea? Those kids shouldn't be there. But do understand that from a medical perspective, loose stools are different than true diarrhea (watery and frequent), though my DCP does discourage a child from attending even if they are having some loose stools. Perhaps you could discuss the DCP's sick policies with them.

That being said, I can relate to you not wanting to leave her there. I have felt that way many times, and luckily for me, my husband drops off, and he is way more practical than me. It's true - all kids will eventually get a similar number of illnesses. It's just hard to see them suffer. And with my DD, though, it certainly seems like I suffer more than she does, with my worrying.

If it makes you feel better, a neighbor of mine didn't start her DD in day care until she was 3.5, and she said she was always sick too (prior to starting DC, I mean). She'd pick it up places - grocery stores, play groups etc.

So, try to hang in there. My DD loves "school" too, and I have found it to be an invaluable experience for her.

[Lmoor]

I really feel your pain. My DD started in day care at 6 months, and for the first 9 weeks, we were all sick for 8 of them. And my DD had RSV that first winter, and then was on a nebulizer for our first 2 winters. We're just heading into our 3rd winter, and while she's still got a snotty nose a lot, it's usually not much more than that anymore. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping we're done with the nebulizer full time throughout the winter.

I agree with PP though. You shouldn't have to be the one afraid to drop your kid off. The DCP should ensure that the other kids don't have anything more than colds. A room full of diarrhea? Those kids shouldn't be there. But do understand that from a medical perspective, loose stools are different than true diarrhea (watery and frequent), though my DCP does discourage a child from attending even if they are having some loose stools. Perhaps you could discuss the DCP's sick policies with them.

That being said, I can relate to you not wanting to leave her there. I have felt that way many times, and luckily for me, my husband drops off, and he is way more practical than me. It's true - all kids will eventually get a similar number of illnesses. It's just hard to see them suffer. And with my DD, though, it certainly seems like I suffer more than she does, with my worrying.

If it makes you feel better, a neighbor of mine didn't start her DD in day care until she was 3.5, and she said she was always sick too (prior to starting DC, I mean). She'd pick it up places - grocery stores, play groups etc.

So, try to hang in there. My DD loves "school" too, and I have found it to be an invaluable experience for her.

[Piglet]

We had the EXACT same experience when we had to take DS out of an in home daycare and put him into a wonderful large daycare in my building here at work. To make matters worse, it was the peak of cold season. I truly regretted my decision for a few months and it didn't help that the grandparents kept trying to convince me to pull DS2 out and find a new dayhome. Fast-forward a few more months and we have been doing great! About 2 months was all it took. You will see - it does get better. That having been said we are headed into cold season soon enough so you might see a bug or two, but hopefully you're past the worst of it. I do know that at my worst it felt like I was home with DS2 more than I was at work and I kept cursing the stupidity of paying for daycare that was the cause of all this grief... you brought back a lot of memories, LOL!

Hugs,

[Piglet]

We had the EXACT same experience when we had to take DS out of an in home daycare and put him into a wonderful large daycare in my building here at work. To make matters worse, it was the peak of cold season. I truly regretted my decision for a few months and it didn't help that the grandparents kept trying to convince me to pull DS2 out and find a new dayhome. Fast-forward a few more months and we have been doing great! About 2 months was all it took. You will see - it does get better. That having been said we are headed into cold season soon enough so you might see a bug or two, but hopefully you're past the worst of it. I do know that at my worst it felt like I was home with DS2 more than I was at work and I kept cursing the stupidity of paying for daycare that was the cause of all this grief... you brought back a lot of memories, LOL!

Hugs,

[pb&j]

Sounds about right to me. In 6 months of day care DS has had coxsackie, diarrhea w/vomiting, three ear infections, and a smattering of colds and runny noses. Most of my btdt daycare mama friends say it takes about a year of being sick all the time, and then they're super healthy. Either they go through this now, or they go through this in kindergarten.


-Ry,
mom to Emma, stillborn 11/04/04
and Max, 01/05/06

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/34550.gif
http://b1.lilypie.com/aKGqm5/.png[/img] ([img)

[pb&j]

Sounds about right to me. In 6 months of day care DS has had coxsackie, diarrhea w/vomiting, three ear infections, and a smattering of colds and runny noses. Most of my btdt daycare mama friends say it takes about a year of being sick all the time, and then they're super healthy. Either they go through this now, or they go through this in kindergarten.


-Ry,
mom to Emma, stillborn 11/04/04
and Max, 01/05/06

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/34550.gif
http://b1.lilypie.com/aKGqm5/.png[/img] ([img)

[randomkid]

I have discussed sick policies with them a few times and the answers are consistent. I do see it in practice as well. DD got a mild case of the diarrhea and I was told she couldn't come back until her stools were formed and if she had any loose stools at all, they would call me to get her. The diarrhea situation was that it had just started. The one little girl that the teacher was changing had her first of the day when we showed up. The teacher came in at 6:30 each morning that week to clean and wash everything. There were only about 4 kids in the class every day that week. The problem is that illnesses are contagious before you get sick. They sent a boy home on Tuesday with diarrhea and by Thursday, the others were starting to get it. Fevers get sent home as well. You have one hour to come get your child once you get that call. Last year, they had rotovirus in the school and they sent out a letter, "laying down the law" so to speak about bringing sick kids to school.

They do wipe hands a lot with wipes, but they really aren't set up to wash with soap and water which would be optimal, IMO.

I just have to make a decision and weigh the pros and cons which is so hard to do when your child is sick all the time and all you want to do is yank them out of that situation!

[randomkid]

I have discussed sick policies with them a few times and the answers are consistent. I do see it in practice as well. DD got a mild case of the diarrhea and I was told she couldn't come back until her stools were formed and if she had any loose stools at all, they would call me to get her. The diarrhea situation was that it had just started. The one little girl that the teacher was changing had her first of the day when we showed up. The teacher came in at 6:30 each morning that week to clean and wash everything. There were only about 4 kids in the class every day that week. The problem is that illnesses are contagious before you get sick. They sent a boy home on Tuesday with diarrhea and by Thursday, the others were starting to get it. Fevers get sent home as well. You have one hour to come get your child once you get that call. Last year, they had rotovirus in the school and they sent out a letter, "laying down the law" so to speak about bringing sick kids to school.

They do wipe hands a lot with wipes, but they really aren't set up to wash with soap and water which would be optimal, IMO.

I just have to make a decision and weigh the pros and cons which is so hard to do when your child is sick all the time and all you want to do is yank them out of that situation!

[Fairy]

I go round and round on this topic with my parents often. They figure, he's always sick, why the heck do you have him in that place?! Well, because I have to work, Mom, that's why!

It doesn't matter what kind of daycare situation you're in, eventually, one kid is gonna get sick, and they're gonna infect the others. It's just the way it is. If it doesn't happen now, then it's gonna happen when they get to pre-school. If you don't do pre-school, it'll happen in Kindergarten.

I hate seeing DS sick. But most daycare and pre-schools have the same kind of rule --> Runny nose, cough, cold are ok. Fever, Diarrhea, strep, pinkeye, other contagious thing, keep them home. If they denied every child with a runny nose, daycare would be pretty sparse.

I know this is not what you wanted to hear. I know it certainly wasn't what I wanted to hear, either. But, sometime, somehow, our kids are gonna get these viruses. Better now than later, I'm not so sure. All I know is that it's inevitable, my son's preschool is stellar, and I'm doing the best with what I've got.

[Fairy]

I go round and round on this topic with my parents often. They figure, he's always sick, why the heck do you have him in that place?! Well, because I have to work, Mom, that's why!

It doesn't matter what kind of daycare situation you're in, eventually, one kid is gonna get sick, and they're gonna infect the others. It's just the way it is. If it doesn't happen now, then it's gonna happen when they get to pre-school. If you don't do pre-school, it'll happen in Kindergarten.

I hate seeing DS sick. But most daycare and pre-schools have the same kind of rule --> Runny nose, cough, cold are ok. Fever, Diarrhea, strep, pinkeye, other contagious thing, keep them home. If they denied every child with a runny nose, daycare would be pretty sparse.

I know this is not what you wanted to hear. I know it certainly wasn't what I wanted to hear, either. But, sometime, somehow, our kids are gonna get these viruses. Better now than later, I'm not so sure. All I know is that it's inevitable, my son's preschool is stellar, and I'm doing the best with what I've got.

[denna]

Daycare is horrible for illnesses. I worked in daycare and the DCs were always sick. Unfortunately I worked there when I was pregnant and even caught pneumonia at 5months along from the children.

Since your DD has been so 'sheltered' from other illnesses and in a different environment her immune system is not quite up for the attack of the daycare germs.

Im sorry your DD has been so sick.

Good luck in the future and hugs. I hope for all of your sake it gets better.

Denna

[denna]

Daycare is horrible for illnesses. I worked in daycare and the DCs were always sick. Unfortunately I worked there when I was pregnant and even caught pneumonia at 5months along from the children.

Since your DD has been so 'sheltered' from other illnesses and in a different environment her immune system is not quite up for the attack of the daycare germs.

Im sorry your DD has been so sick.

Good luck in the future and hugs. I hope for all of your sake it gets better.

Denna

[karolyp]

Kim - no BTDT advice but just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread. DD's runny nose I told you about turned into a cold, and is now yellow-greenish (ugh) and we are on day 5 of this. And of course, I caught it too :(

So it looks like we're in the same boat - although we've only been in DC for 1 month but have caught 2 colds. So I look forward to reading everyone's replies.

[karolyp]

Kim - no BTDT advice but just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread. DD's runny nose I told you about turned into a cold, and is now yellow-greenish (ugh) and we are on day 5 of this. And of course, I caught it too :(

So it looks like we're in the same boat - although we've only been in DC for 1 month but have caught 2 colds. So I look forward to reading everyone's replies.

[suz]

When my 20 month old DD started daycare, she got sick almost immediately. She would get sick multiple times a month and it tapered off after about 3 months for us.

[suz]

When my 20 month old DD started daycare, she got sick almost immediately. She would get sick multiple times a month and it tapered off after about 3 months for us.

[jenmcadams]

My DD has gone to a child care center part-time (2-3 days a week, 6-7 hours at a time) since she was 22 months. I just wanted to comment on the following b/c it struck a chord with me:

"They do wipe hands a lot with wipes, but they really aren't set up to wash with soap and water which would be optimal, IMO."

I'd be pretty concerned about a center that wasn't set up to wash kids hands with soap and water frequently throughout the day. Our center in Colorado is insanely anal about this and while my DD has had plenty of daycare colds, the incidence of illness has been no where near as high as some of my friends at other centers -- I'm not sure this is perfectly correlated with their hygiene policies and we only go part-time, but it's just what I've observed. Our center requires everyone entering the room (kids at the beginning of the day, parents, siblings, etc.) to wash their hands immediately upon entering the room (they have 4-5 sinks at child height scattered around a relatively small room), kids are made to wash hands before and after meals (they're served breakfast/morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack), after going to the bathroom/diaper change, before and after messy activities and theoretically (although I'm sure they miss this one some times) after using a tissue or blowing one's nose.

Anyways, I'm not the best person to comment on how long it takes to get acclimated/how many illnesses is too many, but just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents on the handwashing. I also wanted to commisserate on finding good child care in FL. I'm sure there are some areas that are better than others, but we spent a year in Naples FL (from age 2 1/2 - age 3 1/2 for my DD) before moving back to the same area of Colorado and I was so surprised at how difficult it was to find openings at all and much less centers as nice as what we had here.

[jenmcadams]

My DD has gone to a child care center part-time (2-3 days a week, 6-7 hours at a time) since she was 22 months. I just wanted to comment on the following b/c it struck a chord with me:

"They do wipe hands a lot with wipes, but they really aren't set up to wash with soap and water which would be optimal, IMO."

I'd be pretty concerned about a center that wasn't set up to wash kids hands with soap and water frequently throughout the day. Our center in Colorado is insanely anal about this and while my DD has had plenty of daycare colds, the incidence of illness has been no where near as high as some of my friends at other centers -- I'm not sure this is perfectly correlated with their hygiene policies and we only go part-time, but it's just what I've observed. Our center requires everyone entering the room (kids at the beginning of the day, parents, siblings, etc.) to wash their hands immediately upon entering the room (they have 4-5 sinks at child height scattered around a relatively small room), kids are made to wash hands before and after meals (they're served breakfast/morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack), after going to the bathroom/diaper change, before and after messy activities and theoretically (although I'm sure they miss this one some times) after using a tissue or blowing one's nose.

Anyways, I'm not the best person to comment on how long it takes to get acclimated/how many illnesses is too many, but just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents on the handwashing. I also wanted to commisserate on finding good child care in FL. I'm sure there are some areas that are better than others, but we spent a year in Naples FL (from age 2 1/2 - age 3 1/2 for my DD) before moving back to the same area of Colorado and I was so surprised at how difficult it was to find openings at all and much less centers as nice as what we had here.