Is this too much to ask of a friend? (Circumcision-related)

[nfowife]

We are having a boy in January so I spoke to the rabbi at the local synagogue today to find out what the deal is for planning a bris. There is no mohel available locally and it is a small congregation (we are not members) so this isn't a situation that occurs often. He basically told me I have 2 options: Find a ped. who will do it at my home on the 8th day and he would officiate for the ceremony, or have it done before we leave the hospital (that would be at 24-48 hours old, assuming a healthy baby), and then whenever I want he could come do a ceremony to make it "kosher". I will ask my pediatrician at DD's next appt. in 2 weeks, but I won't blame her if she doesn't feel comfortable performing the circumcision in my home, you know (she's not Jewish and I don't even know if she is aware of the Jewish custom of a bris)? Then I remembered that a friend of mine from my Mom's Club is a pediatrician and also Jewish. We're not BFF, but we get together for playdates occasionally, talk on the phone, email, etc. She is not in practice currently, because she is generally at SAHM, but she does work 3 shifts a week in the emergency room at the local Children's Hospital to keep current. I am thinking that if my ped. doesn't want to do it, I might ask her to, but I also would understand if she didn't feel comfortable and I don't want to put her on the spot. Would it be out of line to even ask her? Of course I would pay her for her time and service, like any other professional.

[emilyf]

I would ask, even if she is not up to doing it herself she may have someone she can recommend. Ds's was done by my ob, I'm pretty sure my ped does not do them. One of the obs in my practice was a certified mohel, he performs them at the hospital and at people's homes.
Emily mom of Charlie born 11/02 and Zoe born 9/05

[new_mommy25]

I would ask her. Even if she is not comfortable with the situation she might be able to refer you to someone who can help you.

[Sillygirl]

If I were only working ER shifts (sigh!), and if someone asked me to do a medical procedure in their home, sadly, I would have to decline because my malpractice insurance wouldn't cover it. She's probably covered through the hospital and doesn't have any office-based coverage that would pertain to a home visit. I agree she might be a great source for a referral, but don't be surprised if she refuses to do the bris - I don't think it would be the money, but the legal risk she'd be taking. Even your signing a waiver wouldn't be enough.

[Jenn98]

I would ask her if she knows anyone who might do it. That way she can offer herself is she wants/can do it, or she can possibly point you in the right dierection. I would just tell her that you know she has contacts in the medical community and you have no idea where to start looking on something like this, or does she have any ideas. That way she's not put on the spot and you might get what you need. HTH!

[KBecks]

That sounds like a nice way to handle it. My understanding is that OBs are more trained for it (as surgeons) than pedis, but asking in the way described above sounds like a good option.

[nfowife]

Thanks guys! I did ask her (she happened to call me to chat tonight). She said she didn't really feel comfortable only because it's been a very long time since she's done one and she has only done a small number of them to begin with, so she doesn't feel like she is the one who should be cutting my DS's wee wee :) .
But she did give me some ideas of places to find someone, and said that if I couldn't she would be glad to put feelers out to find a physician who could do it.
Thanks again!

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm glad that she was able to help.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Girl Bunny to come Feb. 2007
http://bd.lilypie.com/Kchhm4/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[Piglet]

We live in a small Jewish community pretty far from larger communities and we have flown in a mohel both times. If you are near the east coast, mohels are pretty easy to find and most of them are used to travelling in for brisses.

[JenDC]

I would "import" a mohel from a bigger city/Jewish community. Lots of mohels will travel to do a bris. Just call a couple of big synangogues in the nearest big city and ask who they recommend.

Jen
Shoshana 3.29.06

[Fairy]

I'm also Jewish, and personally, I've never been intersted in having a bris. No question he was getting circ'd, we just did it in the hospital. It's not that I'm not an observant Jew or disapprove of bris's, I just prefer not to have a ceremony for the snipping. What we did instead may be something you could consider, though. I definitely wanted an official Jewish "welcome to the faith" ceremony, and for girls, that means a baby naming. So, why not for a boy, I thought? And that's exactly what we did. The Rabbi that married us (Reformed, tho I grew up and a more comfy in Conservative, but oh well, he's a great Rabbi), did the baby naming in the sanctuary. It wasn't on the 8th day, but there's no reason why it couldn't happen on any day you can arrange it and any place you might want to, home or otherwise. So, if you do end up having issues and do the circ in the hospital before you go, then on the 8th day, you can go ahead with a baby naming and make it all official. Something to consider. Good luck!

[Zansu]

The best-known mohel in our area is a urologist, so make sure you don't narrow your search to children's doctors.