What to do with a toddler that runs away alot?

[jess_g]

We were picking my older son up at shcool today and my younger son (3) ran off and almost made it out of the school grounds. He could easily have run in the street and been hit by a car and I am all shook up about it. He is safe but now I wonder what I should do in the future as I pick my older son up with my younger one in tow every day. Should I put the younger one in a stroller? Or use a backpack carrier? Or a leash/harness? I am wondering what other parents think of this. I will use the stroller until I find a better solution since I have a stroller in the car already. The real problem is that my 3 year old runs (he does not walk anywhere!). I am hoping its just a stage he is going through but looking for some good advice on how to get through it too.

Thanks,

Jessica.

[brittone2]

Obviously you can introduce the idea of safety, looking both ways, etc. but at 3, they just don't have the impulse control to necessarily stop themselves reliably. IMO the best option is to not give him the chance to run...use a harness (they have the backpack style ones now where the parent holds the "leash" which is an animal tail), a sling, a backpack, a stroller, etc. just as you are considering. A sling is more portable and IMO quicker than a backpack most likely.

At one time in my premommy days I thought leashes were kind of awful, but now I think they afford a toddler a good balance of freedom (can walk on their own if they want, but within a safe range) and safety.

You might also consider introducing a game like "red light, green light" especially if you have an older DC that can help play the game w/ him.

[sidmand]

Thank you for asking this. I had the same thing happen today, but DS is only 16 months. Not looking forward to years of this! He went almost straight from crawling to running.

I was at a Halloween Party and stepped out for a minute to help get chairs. When I came back in, a little girl said to me, "someone just ran out the door into the road" and DS had indeed run out the open outside door and was 400 feet away down the path. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. Add to that my racing heart and not a good start to the party! Thank goodness he didn't actually run into the street. I do have a harness for him but I've been hesitant to use it (and we haven't really been in a place for long enough a time to use it) but I'm ready to try.

I tried holding his hand and telling him he couldn't go on his own unless he let me hold his hand. That kind of worked, but killed my back bending over to do so! I don't have any solutions, but I'm glad your son is okay too.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[jenjenfirenjen]

My toddler is exactly the same. I got a harness shortly before having DS2 since I knew it would be hard to get around with a baby and try to control DS1 at the same time. I got this one...

http://www.opair.net/

It's so cute. He loves to wear it and I always get positive comments on it when we wear it in public.

[sidmand]

I've never seen that kind of harness, I really like it. I may have to invest in that too since I see many months of chasing to come.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[Dee150]

I have been thinking of getting one of these. My 2y.o. is a runner too. Some days he seems to get my 'sidewalk vs. street' spiel, other days not.
A quick question about the O'pair harness - from all the pics I could see, it looks like both the fanny packs connect in the front with the 'leash'...is that right? Can you walk with the child ahead of you with this harness?

TIA!

[jenjenfirenjen]

Yeah, on my toddler, his fanny pack part just kind of moves around on his waist depending on where he is in relation to me. If often ends up with the bear on his bottom since he's usually in front of me.

[katerinasmom]

We have the same problem. We got this puppy harness backpack from Target and absolutely love it.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=bxgy_cc_img_b_1042354/602-2933553-2195838?asin=B000EBITU8

DD knows that when we are out, if she wants to walk instead of sit in her stroller she has to wear her puppy. It is a really great compromise which allows her a little freedom and us a little control. I will say though that you really can't use any of these harnesses like a dog leash as your child will only end up falling down and getting hurt. Even with her puppy harness on I still ask her to hold my hand in crowded places otherwise she will end up getting trampled by people who don't notice the 2 1/2 foot person at their knees. And she is not allowed to run with the harness on because she will only end up flat on hthe floor. And for what it's worth, every time (and I mean EVERY time) we use it at least one person asks us where we bought it.

[american_mama]

For the preschool, is there an easily understood point that you can teach your child to stop at? At my DD's preschool, there is an unfenced concrete sidewalk that leads straight to the gravel parking lot. Many, many of the kids and siblings run down the sidewalk and learn to stop at the end without going into the parking lot. My 2 year old has been learning to stop there over the last month or two and has done a very good job. I have touched and had DD trace the line before the two, done very dramatic stops at the end on my own, asked DD to show me where we stop while I am safely holding her hand, let her run a pace or two in front of me and stop on her own, recruited older DD to show her where to stop and model stopping. If younger DD forgets to stop, I go get her, hold her hand and walk with her BACK to the stopping point and do the dramatic "This means STOP" with her to reinforce it.

If you can identify some stopping points at your preschool (the door, the fence, the walkway, whatever) think you can teach your son the same thing. That might not help with other settings, but it will help at preschool. Good luck. My DD is incredibly fast, and in fact once bypassed the whole preschool sidewalk and ran straight for the busy street, so I know the feeling.

[AngelaS]

We play the Stop game. We practice in the house or in the yard. I tell them to run and then I yell STOP and they stop. We also do this when we go on walks around the neighborhood. They know they can run ahead of me, but when I yell stop, they have to stop. It really doesn't take a child long to learn that STOP means stop and if they don't stop they have to walk holding mommy's hand or be carried or some other unpleasant consequence--the stroller---horrors! My newly 2 year old even knows what stop means, just by being with her sisters. :)