Reflecting on the BBB....top ten things I've learned...

[megs4413]

I have to be honest. I'm reading through some old posts today and thinking about all the things I do with DD that I would never have known to do or thought to do had it not been for these boards. I really feel like these boards have made me a more educated child product consumer and a better mom all around. There are plenty of things that I have bought that I woudl never even have heard of had it not been for the lessons I learned on this board. I wanted to share thanks for all those lessons and list a top ten of my BBB-gained knowledge:

1) you should keep your child rearfacing in the safest seat you can find for as long as the seat will allow. VERY grateful to have learned this lesson and otherwise woudl have had DD FF before a year cause she hit twenty pounds at like 6 mos......

2) There are better diaper bags out there, than the ones at BRU! I LOVE my bag...LOVE LOVE LOVE my bag! (SH dash!)

3) organics really can have benefits...it's not just marketing! i was so skeptical at first........

4) BAD SOY, BAD! (i know this one is controversial but in the context i was using soy....BAD...VERY VERY BAD!)

5) breastfeeding is worth the effort (NONE of my friends BF IRL...it's only info i got from you all!)

6) you do not have to follow what you ped or your mom or your baby book says you should do, there is a lot more out there that can guide you and you are ultimately the best person to make the decision for your child...(whatever that might be)

7) YO BABY YOGURT! i would never have purchased any, since they don't carry it in the grocery store i normally shop at, but it's DD's absolute hands down favorite of all time!

8) the Floppy seat! i absolutely love mine.....and woudl never have noticed it hidden away at BRU the way they have it had it not been for the recs here...

9) DD's tutu--the coolest thing ever and made by one of our own at prettylittlemonkey.com!

10) there are more stroller options out there than a Graco! I had no idea!!!!

there's a ton more, but these affect us all the time..........thanks to you all!

[jenjenfirenjen]

Not sure if these are all things I've learned or just things I've bought but they've all my my life as a mom better in some way. In no particular order:

1. Cloth diapers. I would have never, ever, thought to do cloth diapers. Really. Not a in a million years. And even the BB book did not really recommend it. But the Baby Butts boards and all the awesome women over there won me over and I'm so glad.

2. Living a less disposable life. This just naturally evolved from using cloth diapers. I looked at what else I used and threw away that I could replace with something reusable. So away went the Swiffer, the paper napkins, paper towels to clean with, plastic baggies, etc.

3. Natural cleaning. Specifically the Clean House, Clean Planet book. I love cleaning with natural products. It doesn't bother me to breathe them in. I don't worry about my kids getting into them. And it's so much cheaper.

4. Gentle discipline. I still struggle with controlling my temper with my toddler but I try everyday to be patient with him and I've received so many great ideas for how to handle difficult situations.

5. Super stylish diaper bags. I have WAY too many but I always get compliments on them and since I have to carry them, I may as well look good.

6. Ditto PP that the best strollers are often not found at BRU. I lurve my MBUS and BJCSD!

7. Craigslist. Never heard of it before here. I got an MBUS for $100 and tons of outdoor play toys for DS for super cheap.

8. The Kinderzeat. I would have never considered spending this much on a dining chair for a toddler but it is really the best baby product ever.

9. Well, except for the Miracle Blanket which saved my sanity in the early days with both boys.

10. But the best thing really is all the great friends I have made here and the wonderful resource that all of you mamas are to me. Thanks!!!

[maestramommy]

Cool! Don't know if you meant to start a "What are the top 10" thread, but here's what I learned from everyone here.

1) Oh yeah! RFing all the way! No idea rfing was even a concept after age one until I came here. So glad I found out

2) Cluster feeding. No one explained this to me, not even the LC who had it on her sheet as a developmental stage! I finally inquired and found out here, when Dora was already 8 weeks! Could've saved us a lot of crying.

3) You don't have to have a travel system, in fact you don't have to have a stroller at all when your baby is first born. And there are more strollers out there than at the BRU! VERY GLAD we found this out, or we would've ended up with a mammoth travel system we would've hated. Love my Zooper, even when Dora isn't in it LOL!

4) You don't have to do everything your ped. says. I would've never realized this had I not come here. I used to think the ped's word was gospel, since he/she's the trained professional!

5) If your kid doesn't want solids right at 6 months, it's normal. Had I not come here I would've been pulling out my hair, wondering why my kid was the only one not eating!

6) WHEN you decide to stop feeding your baby at night is a parenting question only YOU can answer, not a developmental milestone dictated by books.

7) Not every baby likes to sit in the stroller, and that is normal too. Again, one of those things that would've totally stressed me out had I not been here already.

8) Cloth Diapering. We only did it for about 5 months, but those were the most worry free 5 months I had. If it had not been for my sis and the Butts I would've not even considered. Researching and soul-searching this whole CD vs. sposies made me much more aware as a consumer.

I'm sure there're more, but these are the really big ones that would've totally changed my life if it had gone the other way. So thanks to all the BBB mamas for the great advice and support!

[sidmand]

1. Also RF. I was just talking to DH about this because I don't think I've met a single person IRL who still RF their child (much younger than DS, probably past 20 lbs.) and I've already had a few people tell me (including his pediatrician) that I should turn DS around and have explained that I don't plan to do so until he hits the limits for RF (which is a long way away at his rate!).

2. Not following everything the pediatrician says. Although when they told me to start DS on a cup at 2 months old, I probably would have started to ignore them anyway!

3. Wood toys and more natural type stuff. Since my family owned a company that makes PLASTIC children's toys, I never even thought twice about that. And I still have quite a lot of them, but my quiet, wooden, open-ended play toys are growing...

4. Gentle discipline and no time outs (and not using the word "no" so much). I was already wondering about a lot of this, but it was good to have sources to go to to back it up. We use "Not for Sawyer" instead of "no" and it seems to work very well. Haven't needed to try much else for discipline yet, but I know it's coming.

5. Toddler "leashes"—we're getting to that stage now and this board is giving me the courage and knowledge to try out the Monkey one from Target and an O'Pair one someone just talked about.

6. The Miracle Blanket! and The Happiest Baby on the Block. We didn't use the blanket long, but both of those were great!

7. Not starting solids until all the signs of readiness. Knowing to tell people I wasn't going to put cereal in DS's bottle (or knowing to just ignore people when they said such things)

8. My Skip Hop—but I probably would've been okay not knowing about that one :)

9. Most of DS's toys that he constantly uses probably came from recommendations on these boards

10. Lots of bargains!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[karolyp]

Fun thread Megs!!

Hmmmmm, lets see....

1. All the great products for DD I've learned about here such as the miracle blanket, peg perego stroller, SH diaper bag (to name a few)

2. All the great products for mama (aka me) such as bare minerals (and now everyday minerals), chi straightener, ect ect (and I'm hoping one day to get a dyson after reading all the raves here!)

3. All the BF advice and suggestions helped us to BF for 15 months

4. All the countless great deals and freebies I've gotten from the bargains board (such as bags of cruisers for $2, a free eddie bauer g.c, free magazine subscriptions, and free mini photoworks photo albumn to name a few)

5. All the BTDT sleeping advice (and most importantly that books can do more harm than good)

6. Natural cleaning methods (who knew vinegar could do all that!!!)

7. Some great ideas I've learned here (like the Daddy picture idea - I would have never thought to do that had I not leared it here!), and ideas about how to boost one's immunity, etc etc.

8. Easy recipies (for this kitchen challenged cook!!), and some yummy hummos recipies too!

9. I had my DD's 1st Bday invite made by one of our own too - pixelprincess (she's very very good!)

10. I've made some good friends, gotten some great advice, meet some amazing mamas, and (most importantly) gotten a lot of support here on the boards!

[MonicaH]

Can I limit my list to only 10??

1. Breastfeeding is optimal and the normal way to feed babies. And does not have to end at 12 months. Solids can be delayed till 6 months or more without any ill effects.

2. Babies will sleep through the night at different ages and do not have to be "sleep trained" according to a book or schedule or nosy relatives.

3. Gentle discipline...we have not had to do too much yet but will be working on this as DD asserts her independence more.

4. Rear facing past a year. I had never heard of this until a few months ago, but DD remains content so no plans to turn her around until she's 33 pounds!

5. No travel system here...love our P3.

6. Babywearing...I only wish I had found out about this before DD was 3 months old. It would have made her early babyhood much easier, and I think I'd even have been able to leave the house occasionally in those days.

7. Organic foods...I did not understand the hype until I read many informative posts about the benefits here. We're working on this as well as on decreasing the "disposableness" of our lives.

8. Hanna Andersson, See Kai Run, etc...

9. The fact that I hate electronically generated sound from plastic toys is okay and will not harm my daughter. We have very few plastic toys and none with batteries.

10. That you can find a group of parents whose goals and values for their parenting really help you learn and become a better parent too, and this group can be online instead of IRL.

Thanks everyone!
Monica

[bubbaray]

1) Clean House, Clean Planet -- love it!

2) Strollers are addictive.

3) Ditto diaper bags. (a little lurking can be a dangerous thing)

4) Its OK to be a "whatever works in the moment/that day Mom"

5) Hanna Andersson

6) There is seemingly always someone in the Lounge to help me with a desperate question, like DD's asthma diagnosis and treatment options.

7) Vaccines aren't a given -- people have differing opinions and follow different schedules. I had no idea. We subsequently delayed DD's chickenpox vax for 6m.

8) DD isn't the only toddler (or baby for that matter) who doesn't sleep well. Yawn.

9) Britax Marathon. Should have purchased this first, instead of the Graco SnugRide and Crappy-sport.

10) Travel tips (especially from Lori, Momof3labs) -- our first plane trip went smoothly!! :)


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

http://bd.lilypie.com/SasRm7.png

[mommy111]

Oooh, I love this thread, and I want to post too. Its hard to 'top ten' the things that I've learnt, but here goes (these are random and not in order of importance):
1. To accept my parenting choices. I'm not weird or spoiling my DD if I let her sleep with me or if I pick her up when she cries. Other people do it too.
2. To not feel guilty about not BFing DD. We tried very very hard and I had never imagined that it would not work, but it didn't and I would have lived with the guilt forever, until someone on this board told me, 'you tried, it didn't work, its not your fault'
3. Organics. Organics. Organics.
4. Parenting is a 'seat of my pants' thing. Things that work with other kids won't work with mine. Things that don't work with other kids may work with mine
5. Never to push my child. It doesn't matter if she says only 1 word and the other 18 months old say, like, 15. She will learn at her own pace (and she can climb the stairs really really well)
6. She will be this old only today. Enjoy today. And if today has been a bad day, go to sleep and tomorrow is a new day (and she won't even remember that today was bad)
7. Spaving. Never knew what that was. Until I started reading Jo's posts. That is a whole other story :)
8. Amazon diapers. Never have to go to a store again.

And 9 and 10, but most important of all, all the wonderful moms that I 'meet' here who make me feel like a part of their families, who share their wonderful children's stories, halloween/birthday/birth photos, funny life stories, and are always available for advice and support, thank you so much, its such an honor knowing all of you!

[shilo]

ohh, good thread! i'm sure i'll think of more that i should've put down, but off the top of my head, the things that have most changed our experience so far...

1) all the words of wisdom that seem to fall on these deaf ears at just the right moment - not any one thread, but just the theme that pp's have mentioned - to enjoy the momment more, to let him do his own thing in his own time more - i really don't think my inner type A tendancies would be so dormant were it not for the mantra of all the many threads here leading me to step back and let him be/do/discover on his own schedule. the freedom in being able to accept the things he excells at along with the things he lags at really is priceless. i don't know that i would have found my way on this one without the countless threads i've read as they come up in the lounge, and the savvy words of wisdom from the more experienced posters to take a deep breath and just let him be. and on the flip side, to listen to that inner voice when it speaks to you when something isn't right.

2) i'm 90% sure this was the first place i read about happiest baby on the block, which led me to exploring swaddles, which were a lifesaver for us...

3) a thread here led me to wholesomebabyfood.com which gave me the courage to make my own baby food. a thread here also led me to the satter book, which was the first 'feeding' book i read that actually made sense to me and gave me some control over keeping my own relationship with food from sinking our boat.

4) ditto the concept that sometimes the 'expert' books can do more harm than good - sleep, pregnancy, discipline and making your own baby food all come to mind...

5) a thread here led me to kelly mom, which saved my BF relationship in those key first weeks as much as, if not more than, my LC did... and the breast friend pillow - another lifesaver!

6) britax seats and extended RF, strollers and diaper bags too.

7) kinderzeat (oh how i'm loving that thing!) - and i'm not sure if i looked up my local consignment stores after reading a thread or the book, but this is one of my most treasured finds from my fav. shop. $90 in EUC :).

8) i'm 90% sure i read about the concept of baby wearing here for the first time. made me look at the peanut shell at the maternal connections store at the hospital soon after he was born - the sling really shaped a large part of my relationship with DS in his first 6 mos. especially.

9) also 90% sure i read about all the alternative soft soled shoe brands here (i knew i wanted soft soled, but didn't really know that others besides robeez type shoes existed). although this was a dangerous one, since it also embarked me into the world of shoe co-ops, even running a huge one for my local mom's group.

10) just really sinking my teeth into gentle discipline, but i can tell already that it will be a biggie for us as time goes on.

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[Jenn98]

Everything I have learned (and there is a TON!) can pretty much be summed up in a few words: You do not need 95% of the cr@p at Babies R Us - there is a much better alternative to whatever product you were looking for at BRU out on the web somewhere and it's probably made by a WAHM who knows what the heck she is talking about! You just need to know where to look/ask (HERE!). And the same goes for ANY pregnancy/birth/baby advice: There is much better info out there (and here!) than what your mom, MIL, the books, your pedi, etc will know.

My favorite thing about the BBB is that questions get answered, and answered with GOOD responses. Just yesterday my DH had a question about a baby related topic and the first thing he said was that I should ask you guys what you did. I did and got great answers - thanks!

I'm so in love with the BBB!