WWYD? A friend and gift giving....

[almostamom]

My roommate from college and I were very close friends for a long, long time. Unfortunately, that changed when I got engaged to DH (I honestly don't know why - and I'm really not sure it matters anymore). She stopped calling me, but was still very friendly when I called her. She was in my wedding party and her oldest daughter (my goddaughter) was a flower girl. I have seen her exactly once since I got married. We only live about 45 miles apart. Except for birthdays, she has not called me in 4 years. I stopped calling her (except for holidays) about 2 years ago. She did not come to my baby shower and has never been to my house (she has been invited). She has 3 children and I have always bought them gifts for birthdays and Christmas. She has done the same since I had DS.

Here's the question. How do I stop sending gifts? It seems silly to continue since I know we're both just doing it out of habit and guilt. Do I write her a note? What would I say? Do I just not send anything (which is how she and I stopped exchanging for our bdays - she just sent a card one year - I got the hint - no big deal.) We haven't had a fight. I'm not angry with her. I just think that our friendship has "run its course" so to speak. So, what's the best way to handle the end of the gift giving?

TIA,
Linda

[sdbc]

It's always a bit awkward, but I'd say just don't send one. She'll probably be relieved, too.

[jayali]

I just went through this with a friend. Although, we are still in touch - sporadically. She lives in Georgia and I live in NJ, so we don't see each other but once a year. Anyway, her daughter's birthday was this month and I just sent a card, no gift. Her son is my godson so I will always send him a gift. Christmas will be the first time that neither of her children will get a gift from me, and I know she will not care. I think if you just send a card then she will get the hint.

Such a touchy situation. I have a great friend (like a sister) and she said to me a VERY long time ago - no gifts. I love the fact that I never have to stress about getting her something. Makes the friendship lots easier. My son is her godson and he always buys her something little, but I never feel any pressure.