How to tell DS (almost 3 yo) that our pet passed away.

[Ceepa]

Folks, I need your help/suggestions.

Our fairly young cat passed away suddenly yesterday afternoon following a complication resulting from a congenital heart condition.

Today DH and I want to tell DS only as much as is appropriate for his age (almost 3). We believe in heaven but religion is still so abstract for DS (he says God flies in a big airplane in the sky :) )

Someone suggested saying sometimes pets get very sick and they have to go somewhere else and we don't see them again, but DH doesn't really like that.

We want to tell DS what happened to our beloved kitty and comfort him if he is sad, but not scare him.

We haven't had to have a talk about death yet; I just want to say the right thing. And we're so very sad ourselves.

Thanks,
Ceepa

[kdeunc]

I am so sorry. Our 7 year old cat passed away last week after what was supposed to be "routine" surgery. We told our 3 year old that Jack was in Kitty Heaven. We have talked about this before when our fish have died. He is too young to really understand but we talked about the "special floor" in heaven so you don't fall out of the sky and so you can see your people and check on them and how Jack can play with his fish friends and my sisters dog who is in heaven too. DS was really sad for a little while but he handled it better than I did! He talked to our other cat about Jack being gone and how we might get him another kitty friend. He still brings up Jack and I am sure that he will continue to for a while.

I hope that this helps. It is so hard to lose a pet and even more difficult to explain it to a child. Again I am so sorry for your loss.

[billysmommy]

We explained it pretty much the same way to Billy a couple weeks ago when our rabbit died. He was sad but handled it well. Every now and then he will ask some more about it, we answer his questions and then leave it at that for now. I don't want to give him more than he can handle right now.
One cute thing - now whenever we see a squished bug or we had a salamander the other day that froze, he asks them to please tell his bunny Clover hello when they get to heaven :)

[Ceepa]

Thank you Kelly and Lori for your thoughtful responses.

Last night DH and I discussed our approach and will sit down with DS this morning.

-Ceepa

[MeyersDVM]

I am so sorry for the loss of your 4-legged family member. I am a veterinarian that routinely sends loved pets to heaven. Maybe the best way to tell your DS is to be honest that DKitty was gone back to live with God. Tell him that God just lets us "borrow" our pets but that they really belong to him. Yes, we will miss DKitty, but he/she is still happy now and we just can't see him or her anymore.

HTH

I know how tough it can be. I just had to put my mom's 15 yo Jack Russell to sleep this past weekend :(

[kdeunc]

I hope that everything went well this morning. I am sure it was hard.

[amp]

We just told him that our cat died and that that meant we wouldn't be able to see him or hold him anymore and that it was ok to be sad and miss him and even cry if he wanted to. He really didn't have any questions and took it in stride. He still talks about the cat sometimes and that's ok too. We didn't talk about where he is, or what happened because you are right, it's too abstract.

I would avoid the "sick" analogy or sleeping, just because of fears of sleep and illness. We just said, he was old and his body was failing and he wasn't comfortable anymore.

My sympathies on your cat. They are part of the family.