Sleeping/eating habits...at my wits end. :-(

[Emmas Mom]

I don't know where this goes & with all the new forums it's just too hard to figure it out, so feel free to move this to wherever no one will see it (says with tongue in cheek). Plus I'm too sleep deprived to be overly upset.

Anyway...my 9 1/2 month old is probably the worst sleeper in the world. :( She's a smiley, happy baby otherwise but at night (& to a lesser degree at nap time) she turns into my little monster baby. Our older DD was never a great sleeper either but now that she's 3 she's much better, finally. So, the little one, yeah, on average she's up more than 3 times a night. She will not go back to sleep unless I rock her & give her a bottle. I WAS giving her a couple ounces of water but the past few weeks she'll have none of that & I have to give her formula or she just doesn't go back to sleep. I never could "cry it out" with our older DD but with this one I certainly would...only I can't. We live with my in-laws (until next summer...I'm counting down) & have 2 rooms. If I have the girls in their room, then little DD's crying wakes up big sister & then I have them both up in the middle of the night. So DD#1 sleeps on our floor. Well, you'd think that would work only DD#2 wakes me up at night...without any monitor on. Our 2 rooms are next to each other & I can hear her through the wall, I've always been a light sleeper & now with kids it's even worse. A couple times I've let her cry for over an hour & a half before I'd finally break & go in to feed her. I mean I'd checked on her a couple times to make sure she wasn't hurt or had a dirty diaper but I was really hoping she'd fall back to sleep on her own. She'll go on for hours if I don't go to her. She's made herself throw up from crying too. Now, I know she doesn't NEED to eat! She's 9 1/2 months & very healthy! But she hasn't learned any way to soothe herself & just will not get herself back to sleep. Most mornings I'm so exhausted I lay on the couch until it's time for her morning nap. And both girls are early risers....up by 7:00 at the latest! Energy drinks have become my life line & that's just sad. If they made caffeine IV's I'd be the one hooked up every morning. DD#1 is becoming a TV junkie in the morning because I am so tired. I don't know what to do & am at a complete loss. See, I'm sitting here crying now I'm so tired & frustrated. DH is a full time student & is going to be applying to Pharmacy school so he's incredibly busy & stressed. He helped a lot with DD#1 but the circumstances are different now & I'm really trying to let him get as much sleep as possible since school is his focus at this time. So, it's all me.

HOW DO YOU GET THEM TO SLEEP?? Honestly if they made Ambien for babies I'd try it. :( Please, someone tell me you've at least been through this so I don't feel like I'm the only one.

[wencit]

Huge, huge hugs to you, Kristine! Sleep issues majorly suck!

DS is not a great sleeper, either, so I can't offer a ton of help. Have you tried any/all of the following?

- Putting DD to bed early (between 6-8PM)
- Giving her a pacifier
- Swaddling (I know it sounds weird for a 9.5 month old, but DS is 7 months and still sleeps better when he's swaddled tightly)
- Swing (again, your DD might have outgrown this, but it still occasionally works for DS)

Sorry, I know those aren't great suggestions, but that's all I can think of. Hopefully someone else will have better ideas. For me, the best way to get DS to go back to sleep is to stick a boob in his mouth, so it's kind of the same thing you've been doing.

Also, is there any way the ILs can help out with your daughters during the day so that you can take a quick nap?

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

[Emmas Mom]

Thanks Erica, I guess I thought it was a little weird I was still feeding her at night when I know she really doesn't need it. As to your suggestions...she will not take a pacifier anymore & I do still use the swing. She's a couple ounces shy of 20lbs & I don't know what we'll do if this is still going on when she hits that 25lb mark! The swing works for her most of the time & I do use it but again, I sure wish she'd figure it out on her own. I haven't tried putting her to bed early because she is usually up in the evening 2-3 times before I go to bed. I'll try anything though cause it certainly can't hurt. And we haven't done swaddling since she was a few months & threw a wiggly fit every time I tried to swaddle her. Hey, I'd be willing to try again though! My DH & IL's have watched one of the girls when the other's been asleep so I can occasionally get a nap. It helps but it's few & far between for many reasons.

Part of me just thinks I should suck it up & deal with it. I mean, there will come a day when neither of them "need" Mommy anymore & I really do love the snuggle factor & that she wants me to help her get back to sleep. But the rational part of me knows that I'm doing them a dis-service by being so sleep deprived. I just feel like I can't win sometimes.

[megs4413]

i coudl have written your post (except i don't have 2 yet)....i really have no advice though. nothing i've tried has worked...DD is still waking up 3 times a night for a bottle...and she's 18 mos........i know it's criminal, but i have tried it all! we're thinking about consulting with a sleep clinic. DD vomits when we try to let her CIO....so it's just not an option for us.....

just wanted to send hugs and say we're in the same boat! you're not a bad mommy! some kids just have this kind of trouble.....i hope you find a solution that works! and then share it with me!

[tarynsmum]

Our DDs are very close in age (I'll have to wait until this posts until I can see how close, lol), and we are very similar. DD has on occasion slept through the night, or only waking once or twice, but there are just as many, if not more, nights that she's up every 2 hours (or more). I'm not really into letting her cry it out either, but here's what I've found:

DD has a (somwhat strict) bedtime of 7:00 (never up past 7:30). I nurse her to sleep, and the first time she wakes up (usually around 9:00, but sometimes 10:00). I let her cry/babble for like 5 minutes. If she goes back to sleep (which I would say happens 65% of the time), she will sleep great, for hours. If I have to go in and feed/rock her, she's up the whole night. SInce I've started doing that, she's started sleeping 10 times better (I have no idea why).

Is there any outside reason that she isn't sleeping well? Teeth or a light outside her window or something?

I'm sorry I'm not so much help, except to comiserate with you

((Hugs)) mama

[Emmas Mom]

I would love to try a sleep clinic. I wonder if they do them at her age?! Probably not.

Definitely could be teething but she just had two bottom teeth & a molar pop through a couple days ago (bottom teeth a couple weeks ago), so you'd think that would have settled down. Still, I've even tried to give her Tylenol or Ibuprofen when I knew it was her teeth & no luck with either. Teething tablets don't work either. :( sigh I dread the night time.

[denna]

Kristine-

((HUGS)) you sound so exhausted and at your wit's end. DS has been waking up for the past couple of months at least twice a night, which is really no fun w/ DH and I both working FT and already having to get up at 450AM(!). So what tends to work better for us is if he goes down (fully fed) at about 800pm. Then if DH and I stay up until 10/ 11 we will change him and feed him again (this usually gets him to sleep longer through the night). He has been pretty good about getting himself back to sleep most of the time, but if he cant we co-sleep. Is this an option for you at all? We lay DS between us and he will hold mine and DH's hand and fall asleep.

I hope you have found something that can help for you.

Good Luck momma...