Tell us about your holiday traditions - the BAD

[Momof3Labs]

I'm going to start two threads because one thread would probably get too long. Mods, please don't move one as my intention is to keep them together!

Tell us about your holiday traditions - the bad ones. This may range from family faux-pas' to things that just haven't worked as expected to the downright disastrous. Perhaps it's a bitch, or perhaps it's one of those funny-in-hindsight moments! Let us learn from your experience!

Lori

DS1 - 9/2002
DS2 - 2/2006

[SnuggleBuggles]

Last year was the last year I will try this...

We live 5 minutes away from both sets of parents. So that means on Christmas we flit around to make sure we divvy up the day evenly. Last year added in visiting my extended family 1 hour away for dinner. Never again. It was way too much.

My ideal is Chritmas Eve mass (I love Christmas Eve!- the anticipation is better than the real thing sometimes), wake up in the AM, open stockings, eat breakfast (yummy french toast souffle assembled the night before), and gift opening slowly over the day. Best would be if everyone came to us so we didn't have to get out of our PJs and go out into the cold. Then we would spend the day playing with our new stuff (hopefully a group game), snack and watch a movie. Nothing taxing, just enjoying the company of family. :)

And one thing I have hated in the past? The frenzy of gift opening in my family. I used to *hate* how slowly dh's family opened gifts (one at a time, take a picture with item, talk about item...really, it takes hours to open gifts!) but now I like it. I love to see what people recieve. In my family, especially if my niece and nephew were around, people tear through gifts and you gift opening is done in like 5 minutes. I have started making everyone go slower the past few years and I like it much better. It just seems so greedy the other way.


Beth

[Moneypenny]

Oh, I'm just the opposite and really dislike the slow gift opening! The inlaws do this and it literally takes 3-4 hours to open presents. Plus, many of the gifts are duplicates so by the time you get to the third identical box, you pretty much know that it's the same tupperware set Aunt Jeannie got all the other females in the family, LOL. I'd much rather open presents quickly and then have more time to chat and catch up with each other then spend the entire afternoon focusing on gifts.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]

[Jenn98]

ITA - I hate the super slow gift opening. Ugh. Not to be a grinch, but sometimes I really don't care all that much about what everyone else got. I know that sounds horrible, but who cares if my BIL got another book about American History? I'm not saying that I don't want to do any gift opening (although I agree with the PP who said that sometimes the anticipation of the day is better than the day itself - there's nothing like a bunch of beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree!) I'm just saying that maybe we could speed it up a little!

[DebbieJ]

Oh, I could tell the story from last year about my sister and BIL and their refusal to come to my house if I served tacos because BIL doesn't like them and it would ruin their daughter's first Christmas. Remember that one?!?! :)

I ended up serving pizza and then invited them over a week later for New Years and I served tacos (hey, I had the supplies already), WHICH THEY ATE!

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org

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[megs4413]

We go to the extended family humongo celebration about an hour away for my ILs on Christmas....the way they open gifts is EXCRUTIATING...there are literally about 60 people that have to open and they make us all watch as each person opens their gifts.....so we start from youngest (which will be like a 6mo. old this year) opens several gifts and go all the way to the oldest (grandma violet) watching each gift....it's bad for so many reasons....1) you have to sit there while all the kids in the freaking place open their gifts....and they HATE it...cause the older kids (like 5 or 6) get really frustrated while they wait for their "turn" 2) it takes several hours 3) it puts a lot of pressure on the person opening cause the whole freaking place is staring at you....it's really tough for an outsider like me! i see these people once a year and at funeral's so i really don't like having center stage....4) it puts a lot of pressure on the gift giver to not give a DUD...cause everyone will see!!!!

HORRIBLE ROTTEN TRADITION!

[Emmas Mom]

Ditto here too! I absolutely HATE how long it takes my DH's family to open gifts! BORING!!!! It's especially so hard for the little ones who don't understand it's not their turn yet. UGH! I'm not doing that anymore I don't care what they say. I'll gather the gifts we have for DD & let her open them as their doing everyone else one by one. Although I think they're beginning to realize with 5 grandkids now that they are just not going to wait. We'll see how this year goes.

[aa2mama]

What irritates me is that DH's family are holiday "hogs". They expect for us to spend every single holiday with them, nevermind my family. Because both of the other siblings spouses' families celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve, they have deemed that their Christmas is always celebrated on Christmas Day. My family had the tradition of opening just one present on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas Day, but now to accomodate DH's family we do everything on Christmas Eve.

Sigh, and I just had to break it to DH's mom that we would not be spending Thanksgiving again with them this year.

[table4three]

I agree - growing up my family always had the crazy free-for-all super fast gift opening and no one saw what anyone else got. We were kids, yes, but it lost some meaning when we did it that way.

DH's family takes turns opening gifts and I've brought that tradition to my parent's house now.

http://b2.lilypie.com/mkn7m5.png

ETA - punctuation

[ribbit1019]

Driving everywhere on Thanksgiving/Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. I put my foot down when DD was born (and have heard about it since from IL's) that the only place we go for Christmas Day is here. We still drive everywhere for Thanksgiving, but Christmas eve is spent at IL's and Christmas day is spent her. The whole family has been told are more than welcome to come over and spend the day with us. My immediate family alway comes, but IL's haven't come at all.


Christy
Wife to Richard
My Waterbabies
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[C99]

Having to schlep out to the suburbs *every year* on Christmas day, which means that we have to be bathed, dressed and on the road to sit in traffic too early to get in a proper nap.

[AngelaS]

Growing up we spent every Christmas Eve at Grandma's. That was wonderful.

Every year for Christmas Eve dinner we ate: potato bologna, frozen peas, oyster dressing and crescent rolls. If it weren't for the crescent rolls and relish tray, my sisters and I would've starved to death! LOL

The year my mom died, we told Grandma that we were no longer having potato bologna for Christmas Eve. Thankfully she was okay w/having pizza too..... :)

[dawell0]

Dealing with DH's family vs my family--which to go to on Christmas day vs Christmas Eve and all the other issues. Usually it is nice that they are all in town, but it can get out of hand. Now, my SIL just invites her ENTIRE family to DH's Christmas celebrations, but doesn't invite my family or anyone else's. I just don't want to go then because it becomes too out of hand. I tried to start a tradition that DH's family ALWAYS be on Christmas Eve by hosting it myself, but it didn't work. Instead it seems that they just make me and my mom mad about switching it back and forth.

[trentsmom]

What's that?

And I'm with you on the rest of the menu.

[AngelaS]

Here, I found an online recipe so you can make your own. ;) http://www.motherearthnews.com/Organic_Gardening/1977_January_February/Old_Fashioned_Potato_Bologna

Here's the first step: "First, round up some natural, 100%-hog-intestine sausage casings. Check all the local meat markets . . . and if that fails to reward you with any of the "bologna wrappers", try a slaughterhouse."

[trentsmom]

Several years ago my mom decided that before we ate Thanksgiving dinner, we each had to say what we were thankful for. Makes DH & I dread the start of dinner. My mom tends to be "touchy-feely" as in she really wants to know what my emotions & feelings are for lots of things. (One of the things she likes to ask me is, "Did you ever think that you could love anything - meaning DS - this much?" and then looks at me like she's expecting all kinds of emotions to pour out.) I'm not like that at all.

OK. Guess I should start thinking of what I'm thankful for.

[trentsmom]

Thanks for the link to the recipe, but I don't think I'll be making any. :) DH is a meat-and-potatoes guy, but I don't think he'd go for potato bologna!

[dules]

OMG, I read just a few lines further. Ack! ;)

Mary

[rlu]

The gift opening frenzy at the extended fam gathering. Absolutely crazy the last couple of years. Never saw niece or nephew open gifts from us, never really saw what anyone got, ugh. Last year was a little better since they were taping it people had to wait until the "video director" said go and sort of took turns. Still didn't see everything, but a little calmer. DS was into ripping paper, not the gifts, this year may be different. I get what people are saying about making little kids wait though.

When I was little the way my extended fam worked around this was to pick names and everyone only got one gift - kids went first, youngest to oldest. With only one gift, didn't take too long at all.

[bisous]

I hope nobody gets mad at me for posting this as a bad tradition but I hate going to my DH's family's white elephant gift party. I'm not sure what it is about it that bother's me except that December is really busy and it seems so frivolous and silly. I don't think that it would get on my nerves at any other time of the year but there are so many cool things to do in December for the Holidays that I'd just rather not work so hard on getting meaningless presents, you know?

[rlu]

We did a white elephant gift party for a few years but then it changed to a gift card exchange (cleverly wrapped to hint but not betray the store until opened) and that has been much more fun and useful. We do it as part of the actual xmas day celebration, so it's more a sidebar to the family gathering than the purpose though.

[tarynsmum]

THANK YOU! This drives me crazy. "My family" is actually 2 families (my mom's side and my dad's side), PLUS DH's family. It totally sucks, everyone expects us to spend all of each holiday with them. Um, what about us spending a holiday by ourselves for, like, an hour?!?!

Thank goodness my mom's side of the family decided to do Christmas at Thanksgiving this year, so that helps a lot. Next year is a whole different ball game...