Help me pick a schooling methodology...(long)

[lovin2shop]

I think that we need to change Preschools and I'm not sure where to look at this point. A little background - my DS started as a baby in a wonderful in-home daycare. The kids were of various ages, and he really thrived there until he became the oldest right at four. The DCP followed a full preschool curriculum and the younger kids were able to observe and/or participate at their desire, so he started traditional academic learning at a very early age. DS loves learning, so he just seemed to soak it all up. By the time he was 4, we agreed with our DCP that he was ready to move because he was showing signs of boredom. Not acting out, but just needing more lessons than the DCP could provide to keep busy while the other kids would still be working on their projects.

Because of his birthdate, he will be 6 when he starts Kindergarten, so he still has 2 years of preschool. In his current school, they placed him with the older Pre-K 5's class because he is way ahead in terms of academic learning. I researched schools exhaustively in my area, and I really like this school because they have certified/degreed teachers with much experience. So my plan was to do the older Pre-K, stay for Private Kindergarten, and when he is 6 transition to Public Kindergarten.

My concern is really with his social development. He is a bright, happy, and energetic child. But, I also think that he is a tender heart (like me), and maybe being in this older class is not such a good idea. Also, physically, he is small. Overall he is fine and happy with his school, so maybe I'm just worrying needlessly (I do this alot). But, he has come home with hurt feelings a couple of times, and he has picked up some the other kids bad habits, like name calling, teasing, etc. Most of the kids in his class have older siblings, and it really shows in their rough play and social interaction. Part me thinks that this is just what kids go through and that he'll just have to learn how to deal with it. But, part of me thinks that he is too young for this. My DH thinks that I'm just being over-protective.

So, to get to the point, I would like to find a school that fosters his love of learning, without pushing him into an older class or another grade level ahead. I starting looking into Montessori, but I'm concerned about the mixed ages. I would like a program that does hands on stuff, like science, gardening, cooking, etc. and does not put all the emphasis on the traditional academic subjects. I guess it is a really good problem to have, but I don't know what to do with my academically advanced four year old for the next two years. Thanks if you've made it this far, and I look forward to reading any advice.

[SnuggleBuggles]

1st thing...after pre-K and private preschool you may find that going right into 1st grade is a possibility so I would check into that. He may be really bored repeating kindergarten.

I think a lot about preschool is learning through play and creative acts rather than "learning" by other means. My ds' preschool is very much about play with little emphasis on academics. There are several 5 year olds in there because of fall b-days as well as some very bright kids and none of them seem bored by the lack of traditional teaching. Some of the kids can already read

The annoying behavior (name calling, teasing, rough play...) is just going to happen. It bothers me too but I figure it is just the age and the older sibling influence. If he isn't bothered by the kind of play then I wouldn't worry. My ds doesn't like playing with the oldest kid in the class because he is very rough. I have been teaching him to just not play with that boy.

There is a pretty big age difference but I don't think it is a major problem. However, I don;t think it would be a bad idea to find a different program.

I am a strong proponent of simple play though so what makes a good school for me doesn't sound like the same fit as your's. My school does offer extended day "enrichment" activities with cooking one day, science one day, literacy (mainly really explring a book more deeply then doing activities that go along with it) and arts& crafts. They aren't mandatory and you can pick any or all of them. In the regular part of the day they spend 1.5h having free play, then they have story time, outside time, circle time, snack time and lunch. They do lots of theme based projects and activities as well (nature walks, art projects...) and the manipulatives and art supplies are always accessible as are the dress up and house keeping corner. The kids can just do what appeals to them.

I guess my point was that maybe spending a year simply fostering the social side of things may help him not be bored and help him expand and develop in new ways. :) It is helpful to be around kids their own age too.

There are no Montessoris on my end of town so I never looked at them but I think the mixed ages could be good since he can learn from the older kids and help the younger kids.

That probably wasn't a very helpful reply. Just my thoughts. :)

Beth

[kayte]

Amy -

I am a former Kindergarten teacher (at a private school) and have also taught Montessori transistional kindergarten (which is for kids who have gone to full montessori pre-school but will be attending traditional grade school). I aggree with PP about checking for testing into 1st grade. I had several students whose birthdate fell after September 1 but before January 1 who were ready to enter first grade. Depending on your state there is usually a verbal test with a few teachers and some paperwork needed to be completed by the school or teacher of his private kindergarten. What you want to be careful of is boredom--it's the single worst thing I student can feel (besides fear). Putting your child in 1st grade when he is academically ready may be the best choice--it's what to do for the next 2 years.

As for changing learning styles mid-stream and then changing back again maybe pretty confusing. In addition, depending on the Montessori school make-up by the time the students reach kindergarten (though some wait until 1st) the students are used to creating "contracts" with their teachers about what they will learn. This might be daunting to a child who has never experienced such a self-paced environment.

I am not sure what your area is like in terms of preschools but here we are lucky to have several private, independant preschools that aren't so reading and writing driven. They have a more balanced--- free-thinking-- approach. Does your area have a "_______ (name of your city ) Child" magazine. If so I would start there. Call them and ask which issue they publish covering private area schools and ask for a back copy from last year. Go visit a few school--most have specific tour dates and keep looking until you find the one. You will.

HTH

[Momof3Labs]

Have you considered asking to move him back down to the 3-4yo class in his current school? It doesn't sound like the school is the problem necessarily, just perhaps the age difference in his class. Maybe he will be in a different spot in 6 months, and he could be moved back to the 4-5yo class again.

As a fellow mom of a September 2002 boy, I've been very happy with how my DS has done so far this fall in his 3yo preschool class. Yes, he's the oldest (the next oldest is a week younger than him), but I think that added maturity really pays off in terms of how much he gets out of the class. And he has time to work on other little things that put him behind the class ahead of him. If you are worried about academics, you can teach and challenge your son at home. For preschool, IMO, focus on the social/play benefits.

[KCR4]

I agonized over this decision a year ago!

My DS #1 was not-quite 4.5 years old when we switched him (mid semester) from our church's preschool into a traditional, but loving and somewhat progressive, Montessori school - into a "primary" classroom ages 3 - 5 (with one who turned six during the school year).

Our DS is academically very bright, and very small and slight (like me). Also sensitive. He turned 5 about four months ago.

Our school choice was a perfect solution for us. DS can learn at his own pace. He is doing so well and so is interested in his work, so excited about it. He is not pushed and yet is academically stimulated and advancing based on his interests. It's just a beautiful process to watch unfold. He is NOT surrounded by bad behavior either - and this is starting to be the case in some of the other schools my neighbors use for their kiddos - esp at ages 5 and 6. His classroom seems very "innocent" to me - perhaps because of the younger children - but also because Montessori teaches a great deal of respect for others and self, and also a strong sense of identity and community as a class (the kids stay together throughout the three year primary cycle). I was puzzled about having him in mixed age rooms - but it just works. You'll have to see it in action to understand. Read some threads on Montessori and make sure you find one with a philosophy that feels right to you. I love our mix of "traditional and true" Montessori method but adapted to be more nurturing and loving then perhaps the real by-the-book schools (I believe it's the AMI schools that are particularly this way).

We will either stay with Montessori for elem school, or have DS "repeat" Kindergarten at the public elem school in our neighborhood. Haven't decided yet.

Hope this helps. Your situation sounds familiar, and I do sympathize. It was a tough decision!

Karen

[jamsmu]

Amy, have you looked into Developmental Programs? They are usually grouped by age and learn as they develop--similar to Mont. in that they learn more as they are intersted. There is a lot of social focus, but academic is introduced as well.

[xmasbabycomin]

I have a 9/02 sensitive DS, too and understand what you are going through. There is no one easy or best-for-everyone answer.

You've received some good advice. I just want to emphasize the idea that your child will only be young once, and "big school" can be stressful. I'd keep my eye out for a school that has a play-to-learn philosophy, and teachers that are as caring as they are qualified. Many teachers (my background is preschool and elem. ed) anecdotally feel that, for social reasons, it's better for boys to be at the older end of the age range than the younger, but that wouldn't apply if you had a mixed age class. Re. first grade early, my brother started in reg. K and they moved him up once they found it wasn't a good fit, so it may be possible to do that. I'd think it'd be better for him to be bored for a few weeks than overwhelmed. Good luck!

[lovin2shop]

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses. I think that I will look into some alternatives, but if I don't find something, I'll give our current situation more time. I want to observe some Montessori classrooms, and I've never checked into Developmental Schools, so I'll definitely look into that in my area also. Because I work full time, I need extended hours. It seems like most of the schools in my area that offer full day are daycare centers. I really liked this school because it seemed to have a better learning environment rather than just offering a babysitting service. But, in retrospect, maybe this school stresses the academic areas too much. I probably need to get real and realize that I'm not going to find the perfect utopia and just find the best that I can. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through this dilemma. Thanks again for the advice!

[lovin2shop]

You know, I think that this is where we went wrong. After meeting Drew at enrollment, the Principal recommended the older class. She was worried about the boredom issue that others here have mentioned as well. I'm hesitant to move him down right now because he always wants to be with the older kids, and I think that it would be a blow to him to move down a level. But, if he starts acting unhappy because of the social interactions, I'm definitely going to try moving him with kids closer in age.

[lovin2shop]

Julie,
I think that this may be just what I'm looking for in a school. Do you know where to find a listing of Developemental Programs? Is there any kind of national organization or accreditation? Thanks.

[lovin2shop]

Thanks for the suggestion on the Child magazine, I grabbed one today and will start looking around our wider area to see if there is a school that might be more balanced. I'm hesitant to have DS skip K to first grade because of the experience of a family member that did this. He did great during the elementary years, but then when he hit middle school, the developmental differences really became a problem. He ended up getting held back his freshman year, and it helped him a lot, but was a difficult thing to go through. In my area, it seems like everyone holds their boys back as long as possible, so by skipping, my DS would be really, really young in comparison. I guess there is no easy answer. Thanks again for the suggestions.

[jamsmu]

Amy, I'll check with DS's preschool. PM me and let me know what area you are in.