Have you ever had to let a nanny go?

[momofjandl]

We hired a nanny over the summer b/c we were about to start a business. We decided to wait on the business but kept the nanny anyways to give me some time to myself.

Well it seems that it is costing us a little more than we can afford right now. (Cutting into our savings.) On top of that she has been very short and impatient with my oldest. (Who I admit can be frustrating.) However, I feel that I am paying her to be professional and to do a job. Which is to care for my two kids. (She has no other job responsibilities.)Also, when I say frustrating (he's almost 4) he is just very active and at times doesn't listen or gets too excited. But he is calmed by doing quiet things like reading etc. He is not aggressive in any way.

I have talked to her about the best ways to handle my oldest and she did well for a while. But has regressed into old patterns. Lately my oldest has said that he doesn't like her and is using the terms good boy and bad boy. Which are terms we do not use and have told her so. We use words like good choices or good behavior.

So I think it's to the point that I need to let her go but am not sure how to. In our contract it states that we will give each other a 30 day notice, which I intend to keep. However it's holiday season, she's a college student, and I feel sort of bad. I know she will be mad, but I know that this is the right choice for our family. DH says it's my decision.

What to do? Thanks in advance!

[dules]

I'd give her her notice. When we let our sitter go (similar reason, I was laid off and we couldn't afford to keep her, plus I was leaning towards being SAHM anyway) I paid her for the term but only had her finish the week. Gave her some time paid to look for another position. We didn't *have* to do that but honestly she was making me a little crazy anyway (asking if I had any interviews, saying if I just found a job she could keep hers, etc. etc.) and plus, I didn't feel that great with her watching my child after she knew she was leaving. I didn't think she'd do anything bad but I didn't want her to confuse her by acting sad etc. around her.

Good luck, it was a hard thing for me to do so I feel for you!


Mary

[momofjandl]

Mary,

Thanks for the response. I was also wondering about keeping her with my kids after telling her. I thought that might work out to be a bad situation.

How did your sitter react? Was she upset, angry? Did you have any problems with her after the fact?

Thanks again!
Ruth

[JustMe]

Have never btdt, but I would suggest giving her 30 days notice on a Fri evening when she is done working. I would express regret that things were ending so soon, and talk about that you can't afford it right now. I wouldnt go into the other issues, as you do want to ensure your kids are treated as well as possible during the last 30 days. I might even say some of the things you appreciate about her/will miss, as I am sure there must be some things she does well and you appreciate and then again stress that your financial situation just doesnt allow for you to have a nanny at this time. If you want to be really nice, perhaps you could do this a few hours before her shift is supposed to be done and then give her the rest of the day off with pay (for that day).

Under those circumstances, if she is a reasonable person she shouldn't be mad per se.

Robyn
single mommy to an almost 4 yr old from Guatemala

[hillview]

We have let our nanny go (we are moving). We gave her a months pay and she agreed to stay with us til we move.

If I were in your situation I'd let her go asap, I'd just say it was due to financial issues and that you want to give her 30 days. I think that is very fair. If you don't feel comfortable with her around your children after you let her go I'd see if you can afford to let her go NOW and pay her the 30 days but not work.

HTH
/hillary

[momofjandl]

Thank you for your thoughts and advice Robyn and Hillary. I really appreciate your sharing your stories.

I had a friend over today who said she could see what I mean with her impatience and by all of the responses here it seems that I am right in making my decision. I thought the financial explanation was the best way to go so I'll go with that. It's just hard not to feel bad, I know she has no money saved up even though we pay her very well. I know it's not my fault. But at the same time I know she will have a hard time finding a nanny position in this area and get paid what we were paying her. Plus she was working part time so she could go to night school so we offered a lot of flexibility too.

I guess I'll just have to decide whether we will keep her or just pay her 30 days. 30 days is such a long time. And I feel bad that it's Christmas time and bad timing. How do I handle a Christmas gift..do I not bother?

Thanks,
Ruth