How do you tell if your kid is actually "abnormal"?

[chlobo]

So my DD is the worlds most annoying 3 yr old. Two was nothing compared to 3. It's just astounding. She doesn't listen, she whines, she misbehaves, she yells, and she can't sit still to save her life.

So how do I know when her behavior cross from normal to "abnormal"? In particular I'm concerned about the not being able to sit still. I'm worried she might be hyperactive.

[sdbc]

I'd ask her pediatrician. How is her diet? Does she eat a lot of simple carbs (bread, bagels, sugar, etc)?

[jamsmu]

Welcome to life with a 3 year old. Seriously, I was worried... but everyone I talk to agrees that 3 is so much harder.

still, doesn't help to mention your concerns to your Ped. A follow-your-instinct type of thing.

[jamsmu]

Welcome to life with a 3 year old. Seriously, I was worried... but everyone I talk to agrees that 3 is so much harder.

still, doesn't help to mention your concerns to your Ped. A follow-your-instinct type of thing.

[ett]

If you're concerned in any way, you should talk to your pediatrician.

Also, is she in preschool? If so, you can ask the teachers whether they feel this is normal or abnormal.

[ett]

If you're concerned in any way, you should talk to your pediatrician.

Also, is she in preschool? If so, you can ask the teachers whether they feel this is normal or abnormal.

[o_mom]

DS1 turned three and it all fell apart :-)

Seriously, I had a Dr appointment for DS2 where DS1 spent the whole time climbing on the table, ripping the paper up, knocking the trash over, etc. All while I'm trying to get instructions on DS2's ear infection. The doctor didn't even say a word. I asked again at his 3 yr check up (1 wk later) when he was the same way and she said that it was perfectly normal 3 yo behavior.

We had a day last week when DS1 didn't leave any marks on his brother all day, made it through dinner without falling out of his chair, ate more than 1/2 the meal with no whining and actually waited without badgering when I told him that he could have dessert (yogurt w/berries) after everyone finished eating. DH asked me if I had drugged him or something. :-)

[o_mom]

DS1 turned three and it all fell apart :-)

Seriously, I had a Dr appointment for DS2 where DS1 spent the whole time climbing on the table, ripping the paper up, knocking the trash over, etc. All while I'm trying to get instructions on DS2's ear infection. The doctor didn't even say a word. I asked again at his 3 yr check up (1 wk later) when he was the same way and she said that it was perfectly normal 3 yo behavior.

We had a day last week when DS1 didn't leave any marks on his brother all day, made it through dinner without falling out of his chair, ate more than 1/2 the meal with no whining and actually waited without badgering when I told him that he could have dessert (yogurt w/berries) after everyone finished eating. DH asked me if I had drugged him or something. :-)

[neeter]

oh no....my 2 yo is gonna turn 3 in a month...now i'm getting nervous!!

[chlobo]

Ok. I feel better. I have so many days like this. And I'm so short tempered with her I can't stand it.

[psophia17]

You're not alone, Carren - I am working hard on keeping my temper, but it's not easy...

HUGS!!!

[o_mom]

Don't even get me started on my temper. I am really trying to be patient and not yell or get angry, but it is so hard when he is melting into a whining, screaming puddle at the grocery because I got the little cart out and he wanted to do it himself. What really sets me off, though is when he hurts DS2. Most times it is accidental or just too much energy, but there are times when he just walks up to him and pulls his hair or "bonks" him for no reason (well, probably to get a rise out of me).

Pregnancy hormones don't help the situation either... :-(

[chlobo]

I feel your pain. I don't have another child but DD will just go up to the cat and yell at him while eating just to annoy me. Or she'll come charging over when I'm trying to give him his insulin. It's so infuriating.

[mum1day]

OMG--the relief to know I'm not alone. My DD will be 3 in 3 months and she is just rotten these days.

I won't even get started on my temper!

[new_mommy25]

I tell everyone I know that 3 is far worse than 2. I don't know who coined the phrase terrible twos. 2 was a breeze. 3 is just hell.

[ellies mom]

I'm on that same crusade. Well, that and "Breastfeeding does too hurt at first". Maybe no one says anything about the "threes" to lull us into a false sense of security while they are two. Three is so hard.

[ohiomom]

You'd described my DD#1. She is SLOWLY getting better, but adding a new baby and potty training to the 3 yr old mix has me frazzled beyond belief and there are days I just can barely keep from being downright angry at her. I'm looking forward to 6 months from now. I hear 4 is much better. :)

[cilantromapuche]

if you do a search you will find my posting baout how my DS went from 2 to 13 overnight. I feel like I am living with an angry, defiant, hyperactive teenager. It has only become worse 6 months later.
Good Luck!

[egan284]

3 seems to be the magic number around here as well. DD was a very quiet, easy to deal with, 2 yo, always polite, etc, that I thought she, or rather I, was spared the terrible 3 phase. How wrong was I! As soon as she turned 3, she's been more willful, more impatient, and more active. She definitely whines more and yells more, in short, you have just described my dd ;).

As of now I don't have any suggestions to you, other than that they may be going through a difficult phase, getting to know themselves, their autonomies, etc.
I am not worry, yet, about dd's 'new development', we'll see if/when she becomes more aggressive.

[squimp]

Yes, 2 was a piece of chocolate cream pie compared to 3. I make sure she's well fed and gets enough sleep, because it is worse if she's tired. Of course, she still whines, but it can be so, so much worse if she's tired.

About the constant movement. My 3-yo is a total wiggle worm. You could power a small village if you could harness her constant movement.

[amyff]

I have worked as a Speech Path with Preschoolers with Special Needs for the last 9 years and I would first ask if your daughter is in Preschool or a structured Daycare? If so, please share your concerns with your DD's teacher. If he or she concurs with your worries, then I would surely schedule an appointment with your pediatrician.

However, I must mention that many of our children who had MAJOR emotional, social and behavioral concerns in the home were "perfect angels" in a school setting. This was encouraging in that they could "keep it together" among strangers, those in whom they did not completely trust and "authority-type figures". We were most concerned with the children who walked into school the first day...surrounded by strangers and showed aggressive and inappropriate behaviors ("did not listen, whined, misbehaved, yelled and had trouble attending in an age-appropriate manner").

My oldest daughter (almost 4) is very challenging for me at home but is an absolute DOLL at preschool. She was born "spirited" and 1, 2, 3 and now almost 4 have been quite difficult. I have started "1,2,3 Magic" and we have had some lovely results. The approach really helps me stay calm and keep my temper, too.

Good luck!

[ribbit1019]

Seriously harder?

I don't think I can handle any worse than it is right now....or can she fall into the "3" category since she is 2 1/2?? Pretty please?


Christy
Wife to Richard
My Waterbabies
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[kozachka]

Either I got used to DS being this way LOL or he saves his best behavior for me. He eats pretty well but needs to be entertained at meal times to eat a lot, he uses potty on his own as need be, he plays by himself for short periods of time and even helps around the house. DS does need lots of attention and exercise. And rest breaks, if he is not napping we read books.

At daycare, it's a different story unfortunately :(. He does not sit still for a second they say, pushes other kids and does not follow directions. It was even suggested I see the daycare psychologist to discipline DS better.

I just came back from dropping DS off with MIL in the States and we took three flights in a row, including a trans-Atlantic one. It was challenging but nothing like flying with DS a year earlier when he was just over 2.

[Eloise36]

She sounds just like my 3 year old DS ;) I have to say though I'm somewhat relieved not to be the only mama dealing with this. And I thought the 2s were hard.

[Moneypenny]

DD isn't 3 yet, so I don't have any personal experience, but my SIL, who has an 8-year old and a 4-year old, has always said that "3-year olds are 2-year olds with an extra year of practice at being annoying."

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
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[DrSally]

I'm not at that point yet, but I've heard from other mom's that the "two's" really don't get better until 4. My OB who has 5 kids also said it gets better at 4. So, something to look fwd to!

[o_mom]

On TLC.... Most of the behavior that they were trying to "correct" is what we see on a daily basis, LOL. The kids were mainly 2-3 yos.

Didn't agree with most of the show's philosohpy, but watching the kids was interesting.

[casey0729]

I just wanted to reassure you all that 4 is better. My nephew last year at 3 was complete hell. I couldn't believe what had happened to the little sweetie pie. Now he's 4 and is back to being a complete joy.

Hang in there!


KC

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[CiderLogan]

I am in agreement here with 3 being so much harder than 2. I seriously could have written this same exact post - about my DD whining, not listening, and generally driving me batty. It is so nice to hear I'm not alone! I hate to wish away parts of her childhood, but I do fantasize about her being 4 when I hear it's so much better!

Jenny
Julia, 8/03
Clara, 5/06

[kimbe]

Yes! (and sorry to hijack!!!) We were flipping through the channels and nothing else was on so we ended up watching in. I don't really agree with the show either. For some reason, I just found the whole idea "wrong."

Watching the kids was interesing and the "reasons" behind their behavior was interesting also.

DH feels bad for the kids on the show when they are older and they find out that they were being observed on a national TV show because of their behavior.

Don't think I'll watch again.

[TraciG]

I can't believe I'm reading all of this because I have noticed Sydney who turned 3 the end of October has become defiant, I was just telling someone this the other day & demanding, stomping the foot, sometimes I think other people think she's a brat !!!

[ltmommy]

That's really funny, because I just yesterday in desperation pulled out my copy of "Happiest Toddler on the Block." DD is almost 2 1/2, and we never had tantrum issues until the last month or so. The book basically talks about how tantrums stem largely from toddlers not being able to express themselves, but DD talked early and has a full vocabulary now. Dr. Karp basically says you should be "out of the woods" by 2 1/2 - no comfort at all! Not much advice on what to tell a kid who says, "No, mommy, I'll NEVER sit on the potty!" and then tries to hit you.

Although I did watch last week's new episode of Supernanny and am resolving to give time-outs another SERIOUS try.

Leslie
DD 7.04
And another 5.07

[mamaturk]

I am SO happy to be reading this post today!! Reilly turned 3 two weeks ago and I think that on her birthday she turned into another child. Seriously, she has always been a busy girl so the not sitting still thing doesn't bother me but THE WHINING...... Ugh, and the crying, yelling and temper tantrums are killing me! Really good for me to read this......

[lizajane]

i think the fact that at 2 she was easy is a sign that she is normal. my 3 year old was a nightmare at 2. and he continues to be all over the place at 3. he is getting close to 4 and it continues to increase every day. his brother, on the other hand, is mr easy peasy (with the occasional bad day or screaming fit, as is normal for 23 months.) so it is pretty clear to me that mine IS hyperactive. not that i can do anything about it... on top of that, he is also highly sensitive. my initial attempts at 1,2,3 magic (without reading the book) are somewhat effective.

[candybomiller]

Uh, 4 isn't always better. Please, ask me how I know. ;) Just be warned, if your child is nice and calm at 2 and 3, he/she might turn into a terror at 4.