How many hours/day during the work week do you spend with DC? AVERAGES fine.

[mamalia]

I'm asking because I'm trying to see what is normal, especially for working/school attending parents. I was calculating the amount of time (awake time) I would see my DD if I went back to law school, and started to get VERY scared, will I/she be able to handle the limited interaction? Will I still have a close relationship with her if the majority of our time is spent together on the weekend? FWIW, my DD will be 2.5 years next Fall.

Malia

[KHF]

I work full time, but get off work at 4:00, so I spend from about 4:30 to 7:30 with DD in the evenings as well as about an hour in the mornings. My husband is working full time and goes to school at night. Usually his classes are Monday - Thursday, and he doesn't get home until 8:00, so DD is asleep before he gets home. He decided to take her to daycare in the mornings so he could get some extra time with her.

I think it's not so much the amount of time, but the quality of the time you spend with your daughter.

Kirsten

[elliput]

1/2 hour in the morning, and 2 1/2 after work for 15 hours total interaction time during the week. DD is almost two now and we are able to have a good time playing after dinner for about an hour or so each night. My personal experience shows that the closeness of our relationship has not suffered. DD prefers Mommy to everyone else. :-)

[scoop22]

i voted 8+. i hate being at work and having to work late. but i also have read and i understand that amount of time doesn't mean everything.it is the quality of time. now i would love to spend every minute at home with ds but that isn't happening. but the quality is great when i am home. so this makes me feel better about working. good luck with your decision.


http://b2.lilypie.com/XbITm4.png

[kfk]

I work on M,W,Fri and on those days I spend from 6-7:30 a.m. and 5-7:30 p.m. with them, or about 4 hours. Make up for it on T, Th and the weekends when I clock in at about 13.5 hours per day. DH works on T,Th and he spends about 2.5 hours with them on those days. However, he does the caregiving on my work days!

As for law school, it is incredibly demanding, especially the first year. However, once you get the hang of it (took me one semester), you can start to better organize your time. Also, you can decide how many additional obligations, like working on law reviews, volunteering and other organizations you want to participate in. Also only you can decide whether things like study groups work for you.

I didn't have children when I went to law school, but I was married, so I didn't participate in all the single-law school student social stuff. I tried to make it home for dinner every night, unless I had a meeting (I was on law review).

I also found that in studying for the bar, I was able to treat that like a 8-5 job. I studied M-F, 8-5, and just a tiny bit on the weekends. It worked, and I passed one of the hardest state bars.

FWIW, I only practiced for 3 years. I think that law practice is very very family unfriendly, way more so than law school (where you can call some of your own shots). Even working at a somewhat "understanding firm", part-time is hard to come by, and means at least 40 hours a week, not counting all those "emergencies" that you must attend to.

[sdbc]

This varies a great deal, but I calculated about 7, averaging in the hours we spend together on weekends. If you just wanted weekday hours, it would be lower.

Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[juliasmom05]

I work FT, so 2-2 1/2 hours before we drop her off at daycare (she's an early riser) and 2 hours at night. So on average, 4 - 4 1/2 h/day during the week. I know it's cliche, but it's quality not quantity that counts :-) .

Marci

[lilycat88]

DH - 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours at night.
ME - .5 hour in the morning and 3 hours at night.

So... 5 days x 3.5 hrs = 17.5ish

You're still the mommy and always will be. I read somewhere once that kids of working moms had just as much "quality" time with their kids as stay at home moms because the out of the home moms tended to be more focused on their kids when they were there. I don't know where I read that and don't know if it was scientific or not but it's a nice thought. When I AM home with my daughter, I try very hard to be "in the moment" with her. No multi-tasking. If I'm cooking dinner, she's helping. If she's taking a bath, I'm sitting with her playing.

[elliput]

When did you update your siggie line? :-)

[pb&j]

>DH - 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours at night.
>ME - .5 hour in the morning and 3 hours at night.
>
>So... 5 days x 3.5 hrs = 17.5ish
>
>You're still the mommy and always will be. I read somewhere
>once that kids of working moms had just as much "quality" time
>with their kids as stay at home moms because the out of the
>home moms tended to be more focused on their kids when they
>were there. I don't know where I read that and don't know if
>it was scientific or not but it's a nice thought. When I AM
>home with my daughter, I try very hard to be "in the moment"
>with her. No multi-tasking. If I'm cooking dinner, she's
>helping. If she's taking a bath, I'm sitting with her
>playing.
>
>


I don't plan on getting *anything* done when DS and I are both at home and awake. If I need to, I might put him in his highchair so he can "help" me get dinner started, but usually it's one-on-one play time.

I work 32 hrs/wk - I have 3 days where I don't go in till 11 or 12, but I often use that time to run errands or exercise. DS and I are together for at least 1-2 hrs every morning, sometimes more, and 1-2 hours in the evenings before he goes to bed, so anywhere from 3-5 hrs/day.

-Ry,
mom to Emma, stillborn 11/04/04
and Max, 01/05/06

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/35775.gif
http://b1.lilypie.com/aKGqm5/.png[/img] ([img)

[aliceinwonderland]

I read somewhere
>once that kids of working moms had just as much "quality" time
>with their kids as stay at home moms because the out of the
>home moms tended to be more focused on their kids when they
>were there. I don't know where I read that and don't know if
>it was scientific or not but it's a nice thought. When I AM
>home with my daughter, I try very hard to be "in the moment"
>with her. No multi-tasking. If I'm cooking dinner, she's
>helping. If she's taking a bath, I'm sitting with her
>playing.

I have read the same and also do the same when home. So does DH. Which means we have not watched TV or done laundry or cooked a fancy toddlerhelp-free meal in like, years. ;)

[kfk]

Hi Erica,

Thanks for noticing (a few others have over on the bitching post, where I guess I am too often!). I found out several weeks ago (thought it was a stomach virus) and updated the siggie after I took a HPT. I had an appt. with my OBgyn 2 weeks ago, who confirmed the result, and we saw a heartbeat. But, I have another appt. on Friday, because he couldn't get a good read on how far along I am exactly. Since this was a true miracle baby (I've had one cycle in 6 years, last October--but this baby was conceived in November, sometime), we're not sure when it happened. But it sure is a shock to have made a baby "the old fashioned way."

It's early days, though, and I'm 37, so we're still in fingers crossed territory.

Love,

[bisous]

I'm a full-time grad student working towards an MA in History so it is a little different than law school. From the other responses I read, I think that law school must be more demanding because I don't have any time away from my DS at all except for when I am actually in class. I am fortunate enough that my classes are all one day a week in the evening but that is because I planned very, very carefully. This means, of course, that I have absolutely no life once DS is asleep. For the past semester I have been observing the following schedule in order to spend as much time with my DS as possible. I fall asleep with him from 8:00 p.m. until 1:00 a.m. I stay awake for 5 hours studying every single night. Then I go back to sleep for 2 hours or so until 8:00 a.m. when he awakes. I also try to study one hour per day while he is either playing in the backyard or watching a show. Still, I spend approx. 12 waking hours with him every day except the one day that I have class when I spend only 6 making a grand total of 78 hours per week. If you do the math, it also means that I study approx 30 hours per week. This is completely and totally rough to observe but it is the only thing that worked for our family and I'm cool with it as long as it lasts!

HTH,

Jen

[mamalia]

I'm sorry to not reply individually but thank you for your responses so far. It helps to hear BTDT advice. In reading some of the responses, I think some misunderstood me and are responding for hours/week. But that's okay because the sentiment seems to be that quality is more important than quantity. It's hard though because right now I have quantity and quality. I feel so guilty sometimes thinking about next Fall, time together will be so scarce. I guess I should take a lesson from our BBB reader's club book though and not borrow worry - I have yet to hear back from schools.

Thanks!

[mamalia]

Thank you for your LS specific advice. I'm worrying about LS right now, but also about what to do post school. I have yet to hear from someone in a law firm that DOES find it family-friendly. Sigh.

[megs4413]

i'll cross my fingers, too! sticky vibes for you!

[hillview]

I filled it in for hours/day. I work full time so I am with DS from when he gets up (could be anywhere from 6 to 7:30) til 8 am when the nanny arrives. Nanny gets off at 6 and DS goes to bed at 7:30. I work from home so see him sometimes more then others (depends on my day) but on average it is about 3 hours a day. Plus all day on weekends. He is very attached to me and it works for us. He is 17 months old.

GOOD LUCK!
/hillary

[elliput]

Congratulations! My best thoughts are with you for a healthy, happy pregnancy!

[thomma]

We have about 2-2 1/2 hours in the morning together (early risers and I drive them to daycare) and 4 hours in the afternoon/night. I pick them up at daycare at 3:30 and they go to bed at 7:30. So an average of 6 hours a day. During the summer it's all day, every day.

Kim
ds&dd 5/03

[vwh99]

I was just thinking about this myself since I just went back to work full-time after maternity leave and work about 50+hours/week. I have felt so bad for dd having to adjust to her new brother (which was tough for her) and now having me go back to work so much as well.

I'm probably around my kids about 15-18hrs. during the work week, but that's also including time for errands. I have between 1-2 hrs. after work where I see them before bed....amazing how the lil' one (4 months) seems to stay up too so that he can see mommy and get that last nursing session in!

Val
DD 10/03
DS 8/06

[cca]

My dd is up at 6:30 and I have her for about two hours before I drop her off at school and head off for work. We pick up around 5:30 and she's usually up till about 8:30. So I would say we spen an average of about 5hrs/day during the workweek. My dh has a crazy schedule so depending on the month it can be he doesn't see her awake for days or he's home a lot w/ her. I agree w/ the previous posts its definitely quality not quantity of time that counts.

-chetna

[alicia67]

I voted 4-8- I'd say I average around 6 per day during the week. 3 in the am and 3 in the evening. Dh and I work different hours so one of us is always home.

[brownlesa]

I voted 2-3 hr/day, but I guess it really depends on when she gets up in the morning. Usually, she gets up around 6 am and I drop her off at daycare around 8. I pick her up at night at 5:00 and she goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:00.

My DH is an early bird and is always up when she gets up, so lately he's been getting her ready for the day and feeding her breakfast while I get a little extra sleep.

She definitely is mommy's girl and right now we're going through a seperation anxiety period. On weekends, we are pretty much attached at the hip.

Leslie
DD 9/13/05