Why won't he just TALK?!

[LarsMal]

I LOVE DS with all my heart, I really do! He is a sweet, laid back kid who has been SO easy since day 1.

But really...he's almost 16 months and he doesn't have ANY language! The ped said he should have 4-10 words by now and he doesn't have one. He babbles a ton, plays with his intonations, and he says Mama- but not associated with me (although DH said something about Mommy yesterday and he pointed to me).

He has a few baby signs that he uses to communicate, but these days all he does is his sign for "more" which has morphed into "give me" and then points and grunts at what he wants. I've been saying things like, "Show Mommy" or "Can you tell Mommy" but he just signs, points, and grunts. OH- and he understands EVERYTHING!

Is this "normal"? I know they are all different, but I figured he'd have something by now. Of course it doesn't help that my undergrad is in Hearing and Speech and I was a teacher for five years. I think I worry too much, and diagnose him on a regular basis!

Please tell me he'll get there!!!!

[heidiann]

Well my son who is now 15 did not speak a word until he was 18 months old, not mamma not dadda he just babble and grunted. He would point at something and go "uhh uhh uhh" thats all I heard all day. But when he was around 18-19 months old he started talking and I swear has not shut up since LOL.... Your DS i'm sure is fine, my nunnie (grandma) would tell me "he'll talk when hes good and ready" and low and behold he did.

Heidi
Mama to DD 10/05

[wolverine2]

Well, my DS had one word (cat) at 18 months. He really got into signing around then, and signed a lot until about 23 months when his language just exploded. Now he talks non-stop. I was getting close to calling EI for an eval, but DH was resistant and I think we're ok now. I'd wait a little longer before you freak out, especially since he's a boy.

[tny915]

DD only had a handful of words at 16 months. There were lots of babbles and words in a language only she could understand. Our ped was never concerned. As long as she was communicating in some fashion, our ped said she was fine and that words would come. Like your son, we communicated primarily through signs. Even the pointing and grunting counts as communication, and the fact that your DS understands everything totally counts for something.

It's hard to not worry, but I would say this is totally normal.

[casey0729]

Your DS is normal. My DS is 19 months old and says Mama and Dada and babbles. He's trying to say "more" but he also likes to moo like a cow so it's kind of the same. Today he said juice, but I had to ask him to say it. There are boys older than my DS that also do not talk. I have talked to numerous parents of boys who said they never said a peep until the age of 2 and then spoke in sentences. I think that is what we'll get too.

Our ped also told us that there is no statistical evidence that EI is useful under the age of 2.

Don't worry, he'll talk when he's ready. Also, someone mentioned in my post about this about a month ago that Einstein didn't talk until he was 3!!!

And finally, look around at the kids your DS's age. Are they saying NO NO NO NO NO MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE? Do you really want to hear that all day? :-D


KC

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[kedss]

He'll get there. Just wait til all he says is 'Mama' all day! My DS understands a lot more than what he says. And he has his own words for things, and he just turned 3. Just be patient, Mama, enjoy the peace while you can! :)

[hillview]

At 15 months DS knew "woof" that was about it. He is 17.5 months and now knows:
woof, ca (car), mama, dada, nana (banana), ba (bottle), and ba (ball) (we can tell the BAs apart by what he is poining to)
Also makes animal noises for:
cat, bird, rabbit, fish, cow, horse and snake

He might be a vet! It seems to happen over night (literaly). He ADORES opening picture books and pointing while I repeat 10x plus what he points to. This is HOURS of fun. He also doesn't pronounce things fully mainly a single syllable. It takes some time to figure out what he is saying sometimes.

Good luck and don't worry!
/hillary

[LarsMal]

Thanks everyone! I know I need to "chill" as DH says! I think I'm just really tired, and all of the "eh eh eh eh" grunts were really getting to me today! Then I heard from a friend whose son has a few words, but she has him in speech once a week (he's DS's age) and I got all worried again.

My mom keeps saying one day DS will wake up and I'll hear, "Mother, please come remove me from my crib so I can go have some delicious breakfast" :-) That'll be the day!

Until then, I will try to figure out the grunts and just keep doing what we're doing- lots of books and naming objects!

Thanks again :-)

[clc053103]

My 17 mo old DS spoke more at 1 year than now- ped not at all concerned, says they will use words, then "lose" them for a time while they concentrate on other things. States will only be concerned if not speaking 1 word by age 2. He occasionally says a word once and never again. He knows a few signs (though he seems to like to use "more" and "all done" in succession- so you don't know which it is), points to what he wants, follows directions, and takes you where he wants to go- he just isn't saying much. My mother said I didn't really talk at all till 18 months, when I started to speak in full sentences. She wished I would get laryngitis.

Last week in the bath DS pointed to a duck. I said to him "that's a duck- you used to say duck all the time, now you don't and I don't know why". He glared at me defiantly, said "Duck" as clear as day, then turned back away like he had to just prove a point! I am convinced he's not speaking not because he can't, but to torture me! LOL!

[Radosti]

Hehe... my ped always has this answer when I ask about development:

"He's going to do this (roll over, crawl, walk, talk) by the time he goes to college! I guarantee it!!!"

[EllasMum]

>My mom keeps saying one day DS will wake up and I'll hear,
>"Mother, please come remove me from my crib so I can go have
>some delicious breakfast" :-) That'll be the day!

LOL Your mom sounds like a wise (and funny!) woman! :)

[mommy111]

Don't worry...DD (and keep in mind girls develop language faster) started saying 'bye bye' at 11 months with perfect comprehension....and not a word more till, like 20 months. I seriously thought about language eval, then held off b/c I thought, like the PP said, what's the hurry, we have all of 16 years till college :)
Anyhow, at 22 months or so, the vocab exploded. Now I struggle to keep up with her.

[KBecks]

16 months is way young for boy talking. Alek is 26 months and uses words, but not 2 word phrases yet. Our pedi was very laid back at his 18 month when I said he wasn't talking -- right now the understanding is more important, is he aware of what's going on, and does he understand you?

Have patience.

Note - there are exceptions - I've met one young boy that had 2-syllable words around 1 year -- but I think that's really exceptional.

[buttergirl12]

He'll get there! DS didn't have any words until 18 month and just started putting 2 words together at 29 month (still with a pause between the 2 words). He didn't say "Mommy" for the longest time. Now he won't shut up. Once he started putting 2 words together it all happened really fast. I couldn't wait for him to talk but I wasn't too worried because he understood everthing and followed directions.

ETA: He might have benefitted from therapy and might have started talking sooner or better sooner but he got there on his own.

M
WAHM to J 10/2003 and a new addition 6/2007


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[shishamo]

I was starting to worry that my DD#2 only had about 5-10 words at her 2nd birthday. My older two were really talking by then!

Fast forward 2 months, and she now speaks in complete sentence, as in "mama, I need to get a new battery for my yellow car."

So I would say, don't worry!!!

[Wife_and_mommy]

You've already heard it but I'll say it again. It's way too early yet. As a first-time mom I thought DD would be talking in sentences at 18M. It just doesn't happen that way except for a few kiddos.



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I love them most when they are sleeping.--Me
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[momofjandl]

I'm going to give you a bit of a different look at things then everyone here. First off...it probably is nothing and he is probably fine. He is still young. Secondly..if your pedi isn't too worried then I wouldn't worry either. Lastly..if "you" are worried..I always believe in trusting a mommy instinct or gut. We are the ones that are with our children day in and day out and know them better then anyone.

That being said..I can only offer my story. At 15 months our pedi said the same thing. He should have about 10 words. He only had a few. By 18 months our pedi said he should have 20 and he actually had lost the few he had. He did sign and did understand language. Our pedi said to have his hearing tested and to get him evaluated by early intervention. Of course it was our choice.

We knew people whose kids talked late or they themselves talked late. We thought he would probably get it eventually. But for us..we didn't want to take the chance of not looking into it in case it was something. He tested fine for hearing. But tested with a speech delay from an early intervention screening. We enrolled him in early intervention services, he started speaking at 2, tested out of EI before age 3, and is now almost 4 and speaks fine.

Long story short..he probably would have spoken on his own in his own time. However, if he didn't...we would have felt horrible for not getting the services for him when we had the chance. I don't know about every state but in MA, after the age of 3 they are no longer qualified for EI and it goes to our public school system. Also, the longer you wait for EI the bigger the delay window has to be. We enrolled at 18 months or so and the delay only had to be a few months..but I believe after the age of 2 the delay had to be much greater to qualify if that makes sense.

I am not trying to alarm you in any way. I don't know your child or situation and you have to use your own judgment. I just wanted to offer a different way to look at things.

EI was covered by our insurance and my son benefited from it. I don't regret enrolling him at all. I know there are several moms on these boards who work or have had children in EI...for speech especially. I think EI is misunderstood by some. I want to make sure I am clear that it doesn't mean anything is wrong with a child if they are in EI. It is just a service offered.

Again...we didn't start the process until 18 months. We took a wait and see approach from 15 months to 18 months and nothing had changed. You could perhaps do the same thing. Rest over the holidays, enjoy time with your family, and come back to it when he is a few months older and see where things are at.

As far as speaking...the academy of pediatrics (and it seems your pedi as well) states that a child should have up to 10 words at 15 months and 20 by 18 months. So per that information I would not say that it is too early for a child his age to start talking. Keeping in mind that all children are different, those are just guidelines, etc. My 2nd son who is 2.5 started speaking at 12 months and now speaks just as well as my almost 4 yr old. Go figure.

Anyways..sorry so long. I just wanted to give you a different view point. Good luck, try to keep a level head and not worry too much. I've been there and know how hard it is tracking every milestone. If you have any questions in regards to EI feel free to email me.

Ruth

[LarsMal]

Thank you so much for your post/perspective. I have said all along that I am going to "try" not to worry too much about his language- yet- but the closer he gets to 18 months, and the more I hear of others his age talking (and the fact that he's not at all), the more worried I get.

The things I try to focus on are A) he's a boy and B) his physical dev'pt and his coordination (things like that) are ahead so I figure he's been focusing on that instead of speech.

I keep saying that I'll let it go until 18 months, and if he doesn't have anything by then, I will look into some sort of eval. The fact that he does understand a lot, can follow directions, and has a way of communicating with me (that doesn't automatically involve crying) is a plus, so that helps me keep a little more of a level head about it all.

Thanks again!

Julie

[lizajane]

signs count as words.

and he is FINE! wait until 2 and then reevaluate.

[cstack]

By the time DS1 was 18 months old, he'd carry on an extended conversation with anyonea and everyone he could. He did not string a couple of words together, but went from single words, to, literally, full sentences that were very lenthy, used huge and complicated words and were grammatically correct. Talk about setting the bar high for future sibs. DD developed her vocabulary in a much more "conventional" manner and pretty much right on cue with "normal" developmental milestones.

Now, DS2 was totally different than the other two. Not only was he not talking at 16 months old, he wasn't walking either. Everyone asked me if I was worried and I said that I figured he would talk and walk when he was ready. He did start talking - and his vocabulary exploded. He is 6 now, but for years has used those very large and complicated words that his brother had a fondness for. Tonight he told his sister that something was "bizarre" - which caused her to question whether he knew the meaning of the word and comment that she didn't know what bizarre meant until a couple of years ago (she's 14). BTW, he told her what it meant. He also told her a couple of weeks ago that he is so smart because he "was a c-section". I guess he figures his brain didn't get squeezed - who knows.

I had another teacher who has a son slightly younger than DS2 approach me when her DS was 18 months because the daycare provider wanted to have EI look at him because he didn't talk. She asked be what I thought. I told her about my DS and that I figured her son would be alright. I ran into him 2 years ago (he was 3 at the time, I think). He literally talked the ears off myself and everyone else in the area. I looked at her and commented that THIS was the child who worried her because he DIDN'T talk.

[BaileyBea]

DS is about to be 22 months and until just recently he didn't speak much.

Today he said: Santa, Flower, book, and opened up a book and told us what word were on that page (by memory of course). It was a big day because he said 3-4 new words today alone. We went from 1 word every couple of weeks to 3 in one day.

We were so happy. So hang in there. It will happen.

Nancy