Animal Lovers wwyd?

[buddyleebaby]

Hi.
I have posted here before about my cat who since the birth of dd2 has started peeing all over the house. We have given her an opportunity to adjust, and have tried everything we can think of to get her to stop. We even shelled out the money for kitty prozac in hopes that it would calm her anxiety. Long story short nothing has worked, and it has reacher the point that we need to bring her to a no kill shelter so she can find a new home. With two young girls they need to come first.
my sister who is a vet tech, said that if we are giving her up we need to also bring in our other cat, because they are littermates and if they were to be separeted, they would become depressed and starve themselves. I am heartbroken at the idea of bringing in even one of them, much less two. And the second one is such a lovable sweet cat who has done NOTHING. At the same time, I don;t want eother of them to suffer.
I just don't know what the better choice is at this point. I want to make the best choice for both of them.
WWYD?

For those who feel they must flame, I don't blame you. I never envisioned myself in this situation and do not think animals can be just tossed away. I do feel awful about it.

[megs4413]

alicia, i hope no one flames you...you're in such distress over this already! i can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. is there anyone you know IRL who would be willing to adopt your cat? so that if the peeing cat took a turn for the worse without its littermate (or vice versa) you could hook them back up again? i don't have pets so i'm not much help, but i'm so so so sorry for what you're going through. big hugs!!!

[Jenn98]

NO flames here!!! I am in a similar situation, although the prozac works for us, most of the time. I would only bring the one who is the problem. I've never heard of cats starving themselves out of depression. I do think it would be an adjustment for the cats, but I'd be surprised if they were that severly affected. I'd try it with just one and if it really is that severe I'd bring the othe rone in, too, or get a second kitty.

[Drag0nflygirl]

I think the other cat will be fine. I'm sure they'll miss each other - but cats are not pack animals.
Don't feel too bad. Would you keep your husband if he kept peeing on everything, no matter what?
Happy Holidays,
Nancy

[dules]

No flames here. I'm always vaguely looking to re-home my two 11 year old cats separately, because they are just not happy in a kid friendly home - they are sulky, unfriendly, scratching furniture, etc. and have been for 3 years. If it were peeing I would have moved on it by now, but since it's not I keep hoping they'll get past it or a perfect home for one or both of them will come up (family with college age kids, retired person/couple, etc.).

Peeing in the house is just not acceptable. We once had a cat (fixed) who sprayed in the house and it was somewhat controlled with Prozac, and since we had no kids, we dealt with it. If we'd had kids, it would have been a deal breaker - and the vet said it was either Prozac or put him down, as no one would want a cat that sprayed indoors.

SO....lots of sympathy to you! Is there a local rescue agency that fosters instead of putting them in cages? I've adopted only adult cats and they've all come from places like that - where they're kept in private homes and we "interviewed" them and their foster "parents" to see if we were all well matched. Just a thought, if you can find a foster org, it would probably be easier on the cats and on *you* to know they're going to a house and not a cage.

I'm so sorry, my heart is breaking for you - but I think you're making the right choice for your family.



Mary

[buttergirl12]

I hope nobody flames you. You tried to make it work. Giving her away might be the best thing you can do for that cat. And of course your kids come first.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Our 2 cats are littermates too. We always assumed if we would have to give them away because DC happen to be allergic or something they would go together. I can't imagine seperating them. I can't even imagine giving them away. They were rescued from a backyard in Brooklyn and I feel responsible for them. But if I had to I would probably let them go together and make sure they get adopted together.
Maybe eventually you can get a new kitten who will be getting used to the girls from the beginning.

M
WAHM to J 10/2003 and a new addition 6/2007


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[candybomiller]

No flames, just (((((HUGS))))). I don't necessarily agree with your sister and neither does my vet tech best friend. If one of the cats (g-d forbid) died, the other would continue on. Unless they are best of friends and play together everyday, I don't think it's going to affect the other cat so drastically.

Good luck Alicia. I'm so sorry it's come to this. :(

[jgriffin]

No flames here, I really feel for you. One of our two cats was (and still is, to a lesser extent) very unhappy when we brought E home. She has gotten much better in the past year, but she still does pee outside her box on occasion. I am really worried when we bring #2 home, though.

Do you have any friends who could take her in for a trial separation? The two cats may miss each other, but at the same time the stressed one would be under a lot less stress, and therefore might be happier, even without her littermate. By doing a temporary separation you can judge for yourself how each cat behaves without the other around.

GL!!

Jen

[elizabethkott]

My heart goes out to you - I don't know what I would do if I had to give up my cat or my dog (yes, they do get along!).
I didn't have a chance to read your other postings about the situation, but have you had the kitty tested for illnesses? When I was young, we had a cat that started peeing in closets, on toys, etc. when my younger brother was born. My mom thought it was related to his birth, but it turned out he had some sort of kidney disease that was easily managed with some meds.
Just a thought!

[Sillygirl]

Personally, I would have bailed out on the cat long before you did, so no flames from me.

I think your sister's position is a little too rigid to make much sense. What if one of your cats had been hit by a car and killed? The other one would immediately go into a decline and die? That doesn't sound likely. Keep the non-peeing cat if you wish. Like a PP said, they aren't pack animals.

[trentsmom]

Oh, that is just heartbreaking. I wouldn't give up both cats. The house would just seem so empty.

I've heard of a product called Feliway that is supposedly good for calming down kitties. It's a synthetic pheromone that is sprayed in the air. I did a Google search and found several site with info. I don't know if you've already tried it, and I don't know how expensive it is.

I hope you find a good solution. ((((hugs))))

[Lovingliv]

Alicia,,,you have done what you can....now you have to do what you have to do. Your girls come first.
You have also spent an enourmous amount on this cat...you are a good mama all around.
Hoping you find peace with your decision!

Ps...the cat would have been gone....LONG ago if it was me.

[Radosti]

I'm sorry. I didn't see it suggested, so I will try it. The way we retrain cats to use the litter box (not always successful, but it does work), is by isolating them in a small room/bathroom or a cage with a litter box, food/water, no carpet or soft things to pee on, and a Feliway plug-in. The cat has to use the litter box faithfully for 2 weeks before being allowed out for a few hours. If nothing bad happens during those few hours, increase the time out after a few days. If all goes well, let the cat stay out, but make sure to provide a safe room to escape to where she won't be bothered. For us, it's the basement with a kitty door built into the kitchen door. Only cats can go to the basement, no baby, no dogs.

When we brought Aaron home, our two neutered male cats started spraying in our living room. They destroyed the dog beds we had in there (the LL Bean ones that are $45 for the cover and $45 for the insert) as well as my Papasan chair. I isolated them, but that didn't work. So, I ended up putting up a babygate and they are no longer going in there. No more peeing. None of the peeing was on any of the baby's stuff, it seemed to be directed at anything the dogs called their own. Removing both the cats and the dogs from that room fixed the turf war.

Separating cats is fine, they miss the other cat for a while, but they get over it. I have also had some success with a pet comminucator. The biggest thing is when Emma, my former-feral kitty got out. I was freaking out since she wouldn't go up to any stranger and she has IBD, so would get sick outside very quickly. I called Julie ( http://petcomm.net ) and she "talked" to Emma. Emma insisted that she wasn't lost because she knew exactly where she was and she wasn't coming back until the crazy foster puppy was gone. We took the foster puppy to the neighbors, secured the other animals, left the front door open and 20 minutes later, Emma walked in the door. Anyway, Julie also ended up resolving an issue with my male cats. When we adopted Ari (the 9 year old siamese), he started picking fights with Mr. Kitty. After weeks of this, I called Julie and she had a heart to heart with me and the boys. I kid you not, the next day, the boys were snuggled up together in the sunshine and have been good together ever since.

[dules]

Aunt Julie called you right? Did you put your cats on the phone? I just read the order form details on how her consultations work and I don't get it. :) My two cats (see my post above) have become SUCH a PIA so I'm very curious about all this.

TIA!

Mary

[dules]

Aunt Julie called you right? Did you put your cats on the phone? I just read the order form details on how her consultations work and I don't get it. :) My two cats (see my post above) have become SUCH a PIA so I'm very curious about all this.

TIA!

Mary

[Radosti]

Yup, she called me (well, I called her when I was frantic with Emma) for the conversation with the boys. Nope, I didn't put the boys on the phone (it's a mental communication), I had to take my cats into a room and I would talk to her on the phone. They weren't allowed to run rampant through the house so that she could "visualize" them. She asked me which was which (pretty easy, since Ari is a siamese and Mr. Kitty is the black cat). Then, she kept insisting that Mr. Kitty has a white patch on his chin. I was getting a bit concerned since he's all black. But I looked at his chin and there is a bald spot of white skin there from me pulling off a giant tick when I first found him years ago. So, he does in fact have a white spot.

The story was that Ari decided that Mr. Kitty gave him the evil eye when we first brought Ari into our house. To Ari, that meant that he wasn't welcome. I told Aunt Julie to tell Ari that Mr. Kitty is the sweetest soul and wouldn't do that. On top of that, I told her to tell Ari that this behavior was unacceptable. Mr. Kitty for his part told Aunt Julie that while he'd never pick a fight, he wasn't going to walk away from one either. He was a tom cat on the streets long ago and he still knew how to handle himself. He agreed that if Ari would stop picking fights, he would behave himself as well. But the point he was making was that he was simply defending himself. There was much more that was said back and forth (an hour's worth). But that was the main point.

While I already believed that she has a special ability since she helped bring Emma home, I was skeptical about the boys conversation. It's one thing to talk to them, it's another to change their behavior. However, it turned out to solve our problem completely. I was very impressed.