WWYD: honest opinions please...name trouble (again)

[megs4413]

we've had quite the difficult time with naming this new one...and i think i'm about ready to give up. I don't have a name i'm crazy about...i really don't even have one i LIKE particularly...and DH has one he LOVES...i wanted to name this baby...i know that sounds stupid and childish, but i felt like i wanted to have that right since i had to battle so hard to bring this baby into the world. BUT, after 7 mos of this...i still don't have a boys' name i even care to try...or argue about...or name my son...and since Dh has one that he loves i think it might be time to just "give in". But will i regret that later cause i didn't get to name this one either?

that's the first part of it, but here's the second part....

the name Dh likes is Jackson. which is cute...nothing against it at all. but our DD's name is Madison. so we'll have a theme going...which i think is just stupid. we call madison, maddie and we would call jackson, jack of course...but i just FEEL stupid doing the theme....it's so cutesy....thoughts on this???

thanks for those of you who made it through and will offer your opinion.....my preggo brain is suffering....

[mom2bes]

OMG!!!!
I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am in the SAME BOAT (kind of).
My baby will be here within the next 2 weeks.
We have finally settled on a first name and now are debating the middle.
I have spent my ENTIRE pregnancy obsessing over this name thing.
I like the name we've settled on, don't LOVE it, but DH does.
With my first DS, I had no problem & loved his name from the beginning (in fact we agreed on a name by the time I was 7 weeks pregnant!)
I am sorry I can't advise you on your situation. I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through.
I really wanted to come up with a name that I adored...but it just didn't happen..
The only name I REALLY loved we can't use (long story).
Good luck to you...
BTW, everyone keeps telling me that once the baby is here I will fall in love with whatever name we choose...we'll see :-)

[cstack]

To the OP, sorry, I can't really tell you what to do or honestly how you feel. Should you be the one to choose his name - if that's what you want and you and DH agreed on. However, couldn't you sit down with DH and see if there's another name that the two of you like? I know it get's overwhelming - but there's got to be that perfect name out there. Of course, you could also just wait, sometimes, when you see that little one, you just know...

To the PP, would it be nosy of me to ask what the long story is? Of course it would be nosy - but I just did it anyway. Why can you not use a name you absolutely love?

[Wife_and_mommy]

Well, I love the name Jackson so I'm biased but if you can't find a name you love I wouldn't be opposed to using his choice.

DD's which I didn't love but I do love it with her middle name(). DS's name is one we both agreed upon years before we had children although there were others I loved and would have used if dh hadn't disagreed vehemently. DH *loved* Nicholas(I didn't love it) and we used it for DS() and it went perfectly so we're both happy.


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I love them most when they are sleeping.--Me
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[andie16]

Could you just name him Jack? Honestly, I wouldn't worry about the "theme" if Jackson was a name you loved, unless it would really bother you if people commented on it.

John is another name where the nickname could be Jack.

As far as who gets to name the baby, I think that's something you and your dh just need to work out between the two of you. I wouldn't totally commit to anything at this point. You still have two more months so you might come across a name you just love before then.

Good luck!

[MamaMolly]

Sometimes I think we can get overly comitted to an idea, and loose the reasoning behind it. Is it 'giving in" to agree with DH?

What I mean is that if you like the name Jackson, then name the baby Jackson. If you think it is too themey, then maybe you can have it as a middle name?

I didn't LOVE the name DH suggested for DD, but since it was only the second one he suggested in the whole pregnancy, I told him I'd think it over, and it grew on me. Now I think it is cute, plus I got to pick the middlle name. BONUS!

And as for stupid themes, I have a neighbor who named DS Ryan and DD Meg. And she didn't get it until someone else pointed it out. DUMMY! I think a presidential theme is much more respectable. At least it is patriotic!! :-)

Molly

[tarynsmum]

OK, this is totally off topic, and no help to you at all, but I knew a couple a few years ago who had a daughter names Madison and a son named Jackson. It wouldn't have been bad if we all didn't live in Jackson, Tennessee: in the county of Madison...

[bisous]

I just wanted to chime in and admit that it took reading the other posts to figure out what "theme" you were talking about. Oh, and I'm a grad student in history of all things! Especially if your two children were Maddie and Jack I don't think anyone would bat an eye at the two names. If you like the names I wouldn't let it bother you too much. :)

[wolverine2]

I think boys names are so much harder. We had a hard time deciding, and after DS was born, looked at each other and just confirmed the name we had thought of. Since you don't have one you love, and you like Jackson well enough, I don't see how that is "giving in" if that's what you decide. Why not have at least one parent love the name? And you could just name him Jack if you don't like the theme (though I'm not sure anyone will really notice much if you use nicknames). We ended up naming DS Tom and not Thomas, since we never wanted to call him Thomas. and FWIW, at birth I didn't particulary love the name (but couldn't think of one I liked better), and now, because I love DS, I love the name. I think whatever you end up with, you'll grow to love the name.

[Tondi G]

I love the name Jack ... Jackson isn't my personal fav (maybe cause one of my best friends had a dog named Jackson)!

I wouldn't worry about the theme thing. It could be much worse!

You have time... keep mulling over baby name books and websites.... something may jump out at you! Keep Jackson on hold and you may just take a look at him and just KNOW he is or isn't a Jackson in the delivery room!

Good Luck

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05

[bubbaray]

I'm perilously close to delivering DD#2 and we still don't have a name for "it" (we know its a girl). A coworker said, don't worry, you'll know when you see her. Uh, yeah, sure. DD#1 looked like Yoda when she came out. Thankfully, we at least had her 1st name chosen (chose her 2nd name at the hospital).

I have no idea what we are going to do. Seriously. Maybe we'll call her "Thing 2"??

FWIW, I LOVE the name Jackson for a boy. DH LOATHES it, says it reminds him of Michael Jackson.


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[megs4413]

i've got at least a DOZEN girls names i love....and will never get to use.....GRRRRRRR.....

everyone says we'll just "know" but i still didn't "know" with DD when we even named her Madison! it was just what we had already agreed upon!

[MarisaSF]

Megs-
Have you seen the book "Baby Name Wizard"? I saw it at B&N the other day. It has lots of names with meanings, alternate spellings, and popularity trend graphs. One cool feature of the book that I haven't seen in other name books is that it has "brother" and "sister" names. If you can take a swing by the bookstore, you might look up names that are "brothers" to Madison and Jackson. Might give you some suggestions of names that are similar in "tone" to the two names you like.

Did DH pick Maddie's name and that's why now you want to pick this one? I agree with others that you are not "letting" DH choose, but rather you are agreeing to a name he loves if you go with Jackson/Jack.

[trumansmom]

I happen to like theme names. ;)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[maestramommy]

Jack and Maddie? Maddie and Jack? I may be missing something here, but that sounds perfectly fine to me. Not too cutesy or anything. Is it the "-son" ending you don't want to do twice? Maybe it's my preggo brain, or am I just missing a point somewhere?

There is a Jackson in my moms group, and I don't think he's ever been called anything except Jackson.

ETA: okay, now I get the theme. But if one is a girl and the other is a boy, it's not that big a deal is it?

For Dora, Dh picked her name, in that he was the one who came up with it. By the time she was born, we had a list of 5. Dora wasn't a name I LOVED, but I wasn't against it in any way, or I wouldn't have allowed it. And it's totally grown on me ever since (too bad it's currently a cartoon character). For the next kid, we restart a list. If it's a boy my brain will be blank because I don't have a long list like I did last time, not having taught any boys. But it really doesn't matter to us who initially "picked" the name, KWIM?

[Corie]

My sister has an ex-in law relative who named her son, Ross and her daughter, Rachel.
(from Friends)

[Corie]

I LOVE your kids names, Jeanne!!

[kijip]

Ok, is the theme you are thinking of presidential or city names (Andrew Jackson and James Madison OR Jackson TN and Madison WI)? Just curious.

I think it is ok either way. Who knows, maybe Maddie will be the first woman president, ;)

[swampnurse]

I don't know if it matters to you, but Jackson/Jack is EXTREMELY popular and has been for the last few years. I am a NICU and L&D nurse and we can't believe how just about every other baby is named Jackson/Jack or Sophia/Sophie! They are both very cute names which makes them popular, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Also, I live in California, so maybe it is not as common where you live. Like i said, i don't know if it matters to you, but i just thought i'd tell you. Naming is a very challenging task! I lived on the social security website name page this last pregnancy!Good Luck!

[megs4413]

popularity is actually a PLUS for it in my book....whatever name we choose has to be top 20 in 2006....i know it sounds weird, but i reall liked having a "common" name going through school. in fact, i liked it so much i want my kids to have popular names!!!

long story short on the reasons why i want to have naming rights this time....

i "settled" for what we agreed on with Maddie's name. and have regretted it since....

i have had two very difficult and complicated pregnancies and when considering this pregnancy, DH threw out naming rights as an incentive....not that it's what got me to do it! but we agreed to it! and it was part of my reward for going through this again....


i guess it's not as much giving "in" to DH as it is giving "up" on finding a name i really love.....which makes me really sad since this will be the last child for us (most likely...) everything's so final this time around!

[megs4413]

the presidential thing is what bothers me most....i certainly hope there's a woman president BEFORE DD becomes available for the office in 2040!

and the other "themey" aspect is the "son" part. jackson, madison...if we had any more children they woudl have to follow the trend somehow....jackson, madison, lincoln....or jackson, madison, anderson.....cause jackson, madison, kyle just sounds WRONG!

though we're not planning more bio kids so the theme thing might be a moot point....

[neeter]

since you want something in the top 20 -- that should narrow it down considerably! i would just take a break from it all for a little while and then revist that top 20 list!

i am due in march and we're having a tough time deciding a name, too. we had to take a break for a while because DH's suggestions were just making me mad and he totally rejected my suggestions...our short list is really short because we only agree on 2-3 names. good luck!

[hcsl]

If there's no boy name that you love, and your dh does have one that he loves, I think you should go with Jackson. Don't scramble to find a name just for the sake of naming the baby. Wouldn't you rather him have a name that has some significance to someone rather than a randomly selected name? Maybe you could pick the middle name.

I totally understand wanting to name your baby, but in this case I can relate to your dh. I am one of those people who has known forever what I would name a girl if I ever had one. I would be so hurt if my dh decided that he wanted to name the next child (if it was a girl) because I may or may not have railroaded the naming of the first two. It would kill me to know that he wanted to name her just so he could name her knowing full well that I already had an attachment to a name.

If you don't have a name, why fight this battle? If you had a name that you loved, I would definitely say dig in your heels since it's you doing all the hard work. But in this case, let him have Jackson. It's a cute name. Plus, guys aren't always good at expresisng things, but it may mean a great deal to him that you let it go.

[ShanaMama]

I have to agree with this point. You are attaching alot of significance to the 'priveledge' of naming your little boy, & it sounds like you really don't hate the name. I get what you're saying about how you 'earned it', but I think this is one of those things where it has as much significance as you give it. Many ppl told you it's not such a big deal, but if it is a big deal to you, that's not gonna change. The only way it's gonna change is if you decide to take control & change your mindset. Not trying to be preachy here, but I've had a bit of experience with having emotional attachement to an 'issue'. If it's only the principle of the matter, you are the only one who can lessen the amount of attachment it has to you- only if you want to.
Can you look at it as a gift you give DH? Duh, all you're going thru with the pregnancy is already giving him a beautiful baby boy, but maybe if you change your outlook from giving in to choosing to give him something important to you, you will always have a special feeling of closeness when referring to your DS' name.
Hope that all made sense, & FWIW I think Jackson is a great name & who cares if there's a theme. It's not a bad one at all.

[oliviasmomma]

I think as long as you don't go with Polk, Rosevelt or Lincoln, the theme won't be obvious to most people. (Or Washington, for that matter.) I understand what you are saying, I like DD's name, it was on my list of possibilities, but it was the ONLY one DH liked. It never felt like the perfect name, or like one I was in love with, but I think that had more to do with my apprehension of parenthood. And, the fact that I hate my name--and so does my mom. My father named me after an ex, against my mom's wishes, and signed, sealed and delivered the BC while my mom was still out. Nice.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had a lot of baggage surrounding DD's name since I never liked mine and neither did my mom. Now I think we could have named her Henry and I'd still be crazy about her (though I'd come up with a nickname.)

I'd shelve it for a month and then look at the top 20 list again.

[megs4413]

DH has taught DD to refer to my belly as "baby budder Dack." so the votes are two to one as it were, so i'm outnumbered and waving my white flag! (how could you not with DD chiming in...)

on another note, thanks for helping me to realize that giving him the name wasn't such a big deal....seeing as how i didnt' even like one! it was silly of me to fight him on it for so long...and it's just too precious to hear "dack" come out of DD's mouth!

so that's it...unless something changes or we get surprised with a DD instead of a DS, we have a name! i will be picking the middle name.....and i'm pretty sure of what i will use...so yippee! the name war is over!!!

[maestramommy]

Hey, good for you! I agree, hearing it from your dd would kinda settle it, huh? :-) Glad everything's worked out.

[spencersmommy]

When I married my DH, I knew our son would be Spencer, since he loved that name and always said that was what he was naming his son! When we found out we were having a boy, it was settled. We did discuss some alternatives, but I knew we didn't need them. To be honest, I wasn't crazy about "Spencer" at first, but knew how much DH loved it. I did like it, though, so it was fine. Now I can't imagine him anything else. I say, go for Jackson! It's a great name! We get to be the *mommies*, so let DH pick the name!
:-)

[tarynsmum]

Guess that means you'll be changing your signature again!

[buddyleebaby]

I think Jackson sounds awesome with your last name. I think of the choices you posted before, that was my favorite too.


And I don't your theme will be immediately picked up on by most people.

As far as wanting to name the baby yourself, I could see that if you really, really Loved a name. But you don't, and your dh does, so why not just let him have it? Dh was nt crazy about Evelyn as you know but he was wishy wishy on all his choices and I LOVED it so much he just said fine. Now he loves it too. He turned to me a few weeks ago and said "Honey. I'm glad we named her Evelyn. It's such a pretty little girl name."

[Bean606]

I think Jackson and Madison is great! But if you are going to call him Jack anyway, why not just name him Jack, and avoid the "theme" if it bothers you? My DH insisted on naming DS after him, his dad, and his grandfather. I totally didn't want to do it, and it was a huge issue. But, in the end, I gave in, because it was so important to him. I get to pick the next one's name (if there is a next one). I hope I don't have the same problem you are having!

[cstack]

Hmmm, Presidential themes....

Here's one - My FIL is name Millard Fillmore S+++++++++ (our last name) and HIS (FIL's) father was name George Washington S++++++++++. I toyed with James Carter, John Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, etc., but none of them really "floated" with DH. LOL

ETA: Really bad joke here, but DH "voted them down" (or vetoed them)

[MamaMolly]

See what I mean? Perfectly good taste! :-)

[amp]

I don't think there's anything too theme-y about the 2 names. I like both. I loved the name Jackson and wanted to use it, but got vetoed. I think you're worrying about a theme, but will you regret not using that name? If not, then wait and see if you find something else you like better. Or maybe you'll just know when he gets here. I really don't think anyone is going to comment on the pair of names though.

[bubbaray]

Congrats! Hey, at least your DD is calling your DS a name used for a boy. My DD is calling the baby (we know its a girl via amnio) "Johnny". I can't think of any girl names even close to "Johnny". Sigh!

Congrats again!


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[megs4413]

actually i think melissa etheredige just named her daughter johnnie......so there you go.....your DD is taking a page from the 'celebrity baby name book'....

[cmdunn1972]

I was thinking similar. Jack is also a nickname for "John", if that helps rather than muddying the water. ;)

To the OP, the only girl's name that I can think of that sounds remotely close to "Jack" is "Jackie", which is a nickname for Jacqueline. (For some reason, Jackie Kennedy comes to mind.)