How often does your preschooler cry?

[Marisa6826]

I know that Sophia can be quite the drama queen, but it seems that she cries every.single.day. She just turned four, and we're dealing with some major sibling rivalry at the moment.

Mia is quite the little instigator, and unfortunately, Sophia tends to take the brunt. I don't know if it's a matter of frustration, anger, attention grabbing, or what. I just can't deal with they hysterics day in and day out. She's very verbal and has no problem expressing herself. Sometimes it's whining/crying. Other times, it's outright hysterics, complete with serial killer-worthy shrieking.

Does this stop? Is it only girls? We try to do 'bunny breaths' (in through the nose, out through the mouth) to calm down, but at that point, I'm not sure who needs them more - me or Sophie.

Suggestions? Input?

Thanks

-m

[trentsmom]

My DS is a year younger than Sophia, and I've noticed that he cries at least once a day. Sometimes I wonder when the daily crying will stop. I never realized that little kids cried so much until I had one!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ds is 4.5yo and has no siblings. He cries rarely and he cries predictably when he does cry. I can limit scenarios when he would cry. I'd say like 3 times a week he has a meltdown- could be more, could be less. Never really tracked it since it isn't a big deal. Full out crying and not being able to calm down? Luckily that is less often.

Plenty of sleep, full belly, limit the number of "no's" and frustrations...these help us. There was a time when ds was crying more out of frustration (building Legos, putting on his shoes...) but that has gotten much better. Peaked around the 4yr mark.

I hope it is just a phase for you!!!

Beth

[C99]

Depends on how tired, hungry or frustrated he is. It goes in fits and starts - some days he cries multiple times/day. Some days, blessedly, not at all. A lot of seems to be about control - he wants it and doesn't always have it, and he just can't reason it all out all the time. It's gotten worse in the last 2 months, so I am hoping it's a sign that he's on some developmental cusp and it will soon pass.

[lizajane]

schuyler is a crier. you are not alone. he is not yet 4 and his brother is almost 2. it really isn't about his brother. he is just sensitive and emotional. to be honest, i have had enough. so i HEAR ya. but i try to understand that it is his personality and he needs gentle words to get him through the day. we talk about "getting under control" and taking deep breaths. schuyler is hyperactive and sometimes his body and his mind go two different directions. i often ask him what we can do to help him feel better and stop crying. he often answers that he just feels like crying. and i assure him that it is ok to cry when you feel sad. and in my head, i am thinking, "for heavens sake, kiddo, get over it already!" so you are not alone. and it is not just girls. and i am here hoping with you that it will end by 5...

[Moneypenny]

My hephew just turned 4 and he cries every single day. He only has one older sibling, and his crying is rarely related to his sister. I don't know if it's "normal" per se (I know plenty of kids that age who almost never cry) but it is normal for him and his personality. He's learned not to cry at daycare because the other kids his age make fun of him for being a "crybaby" so I think he waits until he gets to the safety of home to let out his emotions.

His parents really aren't sure what to do about it. I think they are feeling like if they coddle him or give him too much attention during one of his outbursts, they are just reinforcing the behavior, but they also don't feel like it's right to just ignore a kid who is obviously upset, ya know? So, for now when he starts bawling they have him sit down some where with his blankiet to "let it out" and when he feels better he comes to get a hug and snuggle.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]

[hez]

The crying comes and goes here, too. We're working on getting calmed down first, then having a 5 second talk about what words would be better than just crying about it. Then we send him off to play some more. I don't know if it's working yet, but every once in awhile there's a spark when he tells us what's up vs. bursting into tears immediately when something didn't go his way.

[chlobo]

{{{hugs}}} They can be irritating can't they?

I was thinking about this today and realized that DD cries multiple times a day. Usually when she doesn't get her way about something but it could also be because she hurt herself. It's very frustrating. Just would like one day of peace.

[psophia17]

nak

At 3, N cries daily. We do a lot of deep breaths, too, but it doesn't always work. When he's tired or wired it's definitely worse, so I try to make sure he's neither.

Have you ever seen Poko? It's a Cdn kid's show, and Poko gets frustrated several times every episode - it's been really helpful because it shows ways to deal with frustration, and when N is getting overwrought, I can say "Are you frustrated like Poko? What would Poko do?" and it helps N focus...

It also helps if I'm having a tough time - "Mummy is frustrated like Poko" and N will come up with ways to help me calm down, which makes him feel good, kwim?

If you don't have Poko to fall back on, maybe a variation where you can ask/tell Sophie you need her help so you can calm down would help her learn to deal with herself?

[Tondi G]

No suggestions but I feel your pain! I don't think it is just girls cause my boys are both going through a really annoying phase... my 5 year olds whining and outbursts are working our nerves!

~Tondi

[g-mama]

All the time. Benjamin is almost 3.5 and has become such a crier. Prior to turning 3, people used to ask me, "Is he always so happy and cheerful?" And yes, he was. Age 3 has been super hard on us. He cries so much, and to be honest, it has been making me crazy lately.

Every day when he wakes up from his nap, he cries for, I kid you not, about 30 minutes. No matter what I do, he cries and cries and sometimes wakes up the baby from his nap. Many days he only naps for an hour and I think he's waking up too soon, but I don't know how to fix that. But even if he sleeps for 2-3 hours, he still does it.

He seems to be accident prone, as well, so every little tumble and bump is cause for a major cry. It sounds awful, but sometimes in my head I feel like calling him a crybaby. How childish is that? Just mentioned to show you how darn frustrated it can be, as you already know.

So no, I don't think it's a girl thing, I think it's an individual thing. He's also in major sibling jealousy mode right now with his little brother. That seems to be putting him on the edge emotionally.


~Kristen

Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03
Marco 12-05

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

dd just turned 4 in nov. and still cries frequently. Often it's a situational thing. She's become sensitive to her routine,and disruptions in it can be upseting. She's also very reliant on her nap still. If we miss nap time for more than one day-meltdown city. No amount of comforting or talking makes it better,just sleep. It's rough sometimes and i don't think she'll be able to do full day preschool with her friends next year since they stop doing naps at four and a half.
I know it's hard when you think to yourself "man,by this point haven't they grown out of it?" But i guess old habits die hard. Her coping skills just aren't up to snuff when she's sleep deprived,and right now w/ her and dh on vacation for new years it's gonna be fun-I can see it now....I'll just have to remind dh that she really needs her nap.
Good luck with your little one.

Jen

[jadamom]

Well, my 4-yr-old cries multiple times a day, and I'm not sure when it'll come to an end. It's because she wants Daddy to fix her computer game, but he's sleeping and when she knocks on his door, I tell her not to bother him because it's rude to wake people up unless it's an emergency. She also bounces around all over the house an trips and falls or hits her elbow on something. Then, she'll be trying to grab things out of her sister's hands and doesn't like it when I tell her to stop. She just wants it soooo bad! I think this is normal behavior. They know better, but they can't help themselves. She'll be 5 soon. I'll let you know if it's better by then!