DS throws up for attention! HELP!

[LD92599]

DS has been doing this off and on for a few months, but last night was just too much! DS doesn't go to sleep until we do; when we try to shut our bedroom door he stands at the entry and says, "And don't shut the door!" When i do put him into bed and walk away he repeats it again, "And don't shut your dor!"

I don't want to get mad and scream at him for throwing up because something is obviously bothering him enough to need to be able to see into our room! I think screaming would/could just make the situation worse instead of better.

When DH shut the door last night DS banged and carried on for a minute or so (seemed like it!) then walked away & was quite. About 5 minutes later he was back doing the same thing then he coughs, coughs, coughs...says he's going to "choke' and then he throws up everything he ate for the evening. Lovely. On the light colored carpet. Right outside our bedroom door.

So, anyone have any BTDT experience with this? I'm at the point where I'm ready to ask the ped for a referral to someone, anyone...who might be able to get him to open up and express WHY he needs the door open or WHY he throws up on purpose!

Laura
Will is three and a half - we're now making progress with sleeping!

[pinkmomagain]

Why is your bedroom door closed? Will he come into your room and avoid going to bed in his own room? Or will he be satisfied to know your door is open and go to sleep in his own room? I don't think it is unreasonable for a 3 yo to want to feel he has access to you if he is going to bed without a problem. If you want privacy, then maybe keep the door open until he is asleep, and then close it. If you are closing the door because he keeps coming in, then maybe some reward/incentive program is in order to get him to stay in his own room.

Also, is that the first time he has thrown up when emotional? Or is this a pattern?

Gina

ETA: I'm sorry I read too fast and missed the first part of your post. I now see that it has been going on for a few months....I'd speak to the ped about the throwing up for sure. JMO.

[megs4413]

i'd talk to the ped and see about a sleep therapist. DD threw up when we tried CIO at first, but i think it was cause of her reflux and she was a lot younger then (9mos.) i'm sorry you're going through this...just hearing about it tugs at my mommy heart so i can only imagine how much your heart aches!

[octmom]

No advice, but I am sorry that you are dealing with this. Are you sure that he threw up on purpose? Could it be simply that he was so worked up that he threw up without intending to do so? Either way, it does not sound like fun for any of you. :( I hope tonight is better.

Jerilyn
DS, 10/03
DD, 3/06

[MamaMolly]

I'm a cold hearted witch, I guess. Cause when I was teaching I had a 4 year old who would do this for attention. One day I got so p*ssed with him I made him clean it up, and you know what, he never did it again.

Now, I'm not suggesting you do the same, especially with carpet ;-) but I wouldn't give him any lovey-dovey attention, either. And given how long it has been going on, I think your instincts to seek a professional referral are right on target.

Good luck with this!
Molly

[lmintzer]

Boy, Laura. You really have your hands full with Will's sleep. I am sympathetic, because we had severe sleep problems for the first year of each boy's life. Especially Jack.

Yep, it sounds like he threw up for attention. I would definitely do as you did--clean it up without giving him any more attention than he needs just to be cleaned.

Could you gate the door of his room so that he can see out but not get out? Or is he too old for that (he might be able to undo a gate)?

Do you guys have a sleep routine that you follow each night? A very consistent, predictable routine helped my boys.

Is he getting ENOUGH sleep? If he's going to sleep when you do, I'm imagining he's probably sleep deprived, which can aggravate sleep problems.

I guess I should have asked before if your goal is to have him sleeping alone. I don't want to make assumptions--it sounds like it. Though if you wanted to co-sleep, you would have to find a way for him to be able to go to sleep before you do, so you aren't chained to his bedtime.

Do you want to most more info. here? Or feel free to PM me.

[lmintzer]

Boy, Laura. You really have your hands full with Will's sleep. I am sympathetic, because we had severe sleep problems for the first year of each boy's life. Especially Jack.

Yep, it sounds like he threw up for attention. I would definitely do as you did--clean it up without giving him any more attention than he needs just to be cleaned.

Could you gate the door of his room so that he can see out but not get out? Or is he too old for that (he might be able to undo a gate)?

Do you guys have a sleep routine that you follow each night? A very consistent, predictable routine helped my boys.

Is he getting ENOUGH sleep? If he's going to sleep when you do, I'm imagining he's probably sleep deprived, which can aggravate sleep problems.

I guess I should have asked before if your goal is to have him sleeping alone. I don't want to make assumptions--it sounds like it. Though if you wanted to co-sleep, you would have to find a way for him to be able to go to sleep before you do, so you aren't chained to his bedtime.

Do you want to most more info. here? Or feel free to PM me.

[LD92599]

Our bedroom door is closed for our privacy; DS would be satisfied knowing our door is open for sure! I think i can get DH on board to leave the door open til DS is asleep and then shut it.

Yeah, he's done this before, not just w/ sleep. My MIL noticed his "i'm choking!" habits and stopped him dead in his tracks when he tried it a few times when she was around. It was definitely for attention.

Laura
Will is three and a half - we're now making progress with sleeping!

[LD92599]

Tonight is definitely bettter - i was out for a few hours and came back to see DS asleep on the sofa! He sleeps earlier when it's just him and DH home! Arghh.

Laura
Will is three and a half - we're now making progress with sleeping!

[LD92599]

Gating isn't an option - he'd either climb over it, knock it down or stand there crying, screaming..and then throw up!

Routine is definitely lacking, i'll admit that and he's NOT getting enough sleep - he's getting about 8 hours at night and an hour nap. That's it :-(

Laura
Will is three and a half - we're now making progress with sleeping!