Who do you ask for advice on your childs sleep problems ?

[Lynnie]

If my ped were like the ones who write the developmental books, I would ask him, but he's really not, and besides, I didn't pay the money to be in his concierge practice, so technically he is not even my ped anymore, his three parters - two of whom are new and I don't know - are.

Where do you all turn when you are having sleep issues with your child ?

This 2 3/4 year old monster of mine is now accustomed to waking up at 2 am, and will not go back to sleep for hours, and screams for me, and gets enraged if I don't come in his room. He tore up his crib and threw his sheets, blanket, and pillow on the floor last night. er, this morning. When this first started, I thought he was having nightmares, cause he was babbling about the octopus coming into his room (ursula from little mermaid show at disney, terrified him), and asked for the door to be open, but I am not so sure now. he seems less scared and more demanding. And is very LOUD. and our house is very close to the neighbors, and I feel awful when he yells and screams, but I can't always keep him quiet for 2 1/2 - 3 hours in the middle of the night.

I guess I could try the sleep folder, but not only does that get no traffic, I am just at wits end and would like concrete solutions - if they exist - rather than just commisseration, as nice as that is, iykwim. And, I did a search but didn't really see anything.

So, where would you go for advice ??

[maestramommy]

LOL! I come here! And I also ask the moms in my group. I never ask my ped these type of questions, unless I think dd might be sick.

HOpe you get some advice soon!

[MeAndMyStar]

Hello there! I highly recommend reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It was a great resource for us and DD has slept through the night for months now.

I think this book is geared mostly toward parents of babies who are accustomed to nursing to sleep or using a pacifier (we started using the book when DD was about 9 months old) but I think the techniques may work for an older toddler as well.

I'm not absolutely sure if it would apply in your situation - I would check but I lent the book to a friend - but maybe someone else who has it can chime in? HTH and good luck!

eta link: http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392/ref=cm_rss_rp_title1

-Sarah

[SnuggleBuggles]

The sleep links from Dr. Sears:
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Beth

[Lynnie]

I'll try anything - thanks !

baby ambien anyone ?? (just kidding)((kinda))

will definitely check it out. last night was neither gentle nor no cry. nor did sleep play a big part in it.

[Lynnie]

thanks !

i did look through some of this, but am at the point where I would like to talk to dr. sears, or the equivalent myself because i haven't found anything exactly on point, and nothing I am trying has been working.

My boss recommended putting a tv in the kid's room and leaving it on all night.

uh, not quite there yet.

[cuca_]

There is also a Toddler's No-Cry Sleep Solution. I have been meaning to read it but never have the time. I've heard good things about it. There is also someone called the Sleep Lady. I think she has a site, and she does some consultations, but I'm not sure. I also think she recently published a book.

HTH

Carmen
DD May 2003
DD May 2005

[Lynnie]

I am calling the sleep lady.

Surely she'd love to visit sunny south florida, right ??

ok, maybe I can't swing actually getting a consult (although if this continues, my sanity would be worth every penny...I expected this with a new born, and was on maternity leave. this toddler thing, when I have to leave the house with both kids by 7:05 am and be dressed for work, as well as coherent was not anticipated) I will check out her site, as well as the toddler no cry sleep book.

THANKS !

[denvergal]

Healthy Sleep Habits by Weinstein. He has information in there about everything you need to know about sleep in children. It even breaks things down to how much sleep children need by age group all the way from infancy to the teen years all backed up by research and statistics. it is highly informative and it was recommended to us by our ped.

[cuca_]

You're welcome. If it makes you feel any better, I have two horrible sleepers, hence my knowledge on the subject. The sad part is that I am so sleep deprived that i can't seem to finish, or even put a dent on any of the multiple books I own on the subject. :o

Good luck!

Carmen
DD May 2003
DD May 2005

[randomkid]

You don't say what approach you would like to take, but I prefer a more gentle approach. It does seem to take longer at times, but I can make it work for DD. Right now, she is back to waking at night and screaming until I come in and give her milk. We go through this every time she gets sick - just getting over a cold - and it takes me a couple of weeks to get her back on track. I do let her fuss, but when the actual crying starts, I'll usually go in. I also know that when it gets to a certain point, she just absolutely will not be able to settle herself down and I have to go in.

This used to really bother me until I started reading Raising Your Spirited Child. http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288/sr=1-1/qid=1168046001/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-6226380-6873611?ie=UTF8&s=books

This book is helping me in two ways: First, I'm realizing that DD is not as bad as I thought - she rates as "spunky" which is one step below "spirited". Two, it's helping me to understand why she is the way she is. It's just her temperament. This book has helped me realize that I've been right about DD all along. We never did CIO because I always said she just escalates and then really can't settle down. I'll let her go 20 minutes and if she hasn't stopped, I have to intervene. Even if you don't consider your DS spirited, this book can help explain certain behaviors of children and understanding them can make you feel better about how you handle things. I always felt that I was screwing up because I didn't go by the books, so I just stopped reading them. As this book explains, you can't always go "by the book".

Having said all of that, I do have books, but really haven't been able to read them much since I'm too tired by the time DD goes to bed. I really liked No Cry Sleep Solution and I do have the book for toddlers, but have yet to read it. The book by the Sleep Lady (Kim West) is Good Night, Sleep Tight. I really need to get around to them. Here are links to both of them:

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Preschoolers/dp/0071444912/sr=1-1/qid=1168045297/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-6226380-6873611?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sleep-Tight-Helping/dp/1593150253

I would recommend that you check your library. Mine has had all of these available. I check them out, read through a little, then decide which books I like best and buy those.

Good Luck and hope this has helped in some way!

[MeAndMyStar]

Wow, what great info you posted! I'm not the OP but I really appreciate your insight.

I have heard about Raising Your Spirited Child before (here, of course) but didn't write it down and forgot I wanted to read it. I will definitely be checking that one out from the library if they have it. Thanks for reminding me that it's due time for DDs first library visit as well.

What a great support system these boards are!

-Sarah

[ast96]

I highly recommend the women of Childsleep. Their website is sleepyplanet.com. Jennifer Waldburger was my sleep trainer for my first son. They are both licensed and (at least in Jennifer's case) practicing therapists, and they take the whole child's personality and needs and well as the family's into account. She helped us get my 14 month old sleeping in his own crib, 12 hours a night in less than a week when he had never slept anywhere but on me, nursing every hour on the hour, his entire life. She later helped us when he was 2 several times. And there was no crying involved.

Those ladies are busy and pricey, but I can tell you that Jennifer was worth every single penny to me, and I wanted to kiss her on the mouth when she helped us with our first son. I hadn't slept a whole night, much less by myself, in a year. She saved my life.

Their approach is most like author Jodi Mindell's. It is not necessarily a cry-it-out method -- witness my experience, which had no crying. But it demands consistency and commitment, the two ingredients I think ANY sleep plan needs. Children need to be able to predict our behavior and reactions; otherwise, they are like the lab gerbil who got a food pellet once out of twenty times pushing a lever. They will keep pushing the lever in the hopes that one time, again, the pushing will produce a pellet. Does that make sense? So the most important thing is to pick whatever plan you like the best and stick to it.