Bed Rest Recommendations?

[megs4413]

I know some of you must have BTDT with bed rest during pregnancy. I'm at a loss as to how i'm supposed to run this household laying down! We're having a hard enough time tryign to find a way to take care of DD, let alone try and figure out how we're going to get the household taken care of. Right now i'm working on trying to figure out how to deal with meals....and what am I going to do all day??? I'm only allowed to get up to pee....does anyone have some BTDT advice for bedrest with a 2 yr old!?!? we're calling in reinforcements as the doc strictly forbade me from being alone with DD (i am not allowed to lift her) but she's already showing strain from mommy not being 100%. thank goodness we have a laptop!!! LOL!!

[egoldber]

First off, immediately lower your expectations. If your baby gets to term and avoids the NICU, then you've done a great and amazing job. Anything else doesn't matter at this point. Seriously.

I was somewhat fortunate because Sarah was 5 when I was on bedrest and I could say "I have to rest, please go turn on the TV (play with your toys, get yourself some Cheerios and milk, etc.) and she would actually do it, LOL! But even then, I had after school help for her. After a week, my MIL came and stayed with us full time and took care of her. Before that I called in every favor with my neighbors and they took care of her in the afternoons after school.

Ask for help of anyone and everyone around you. People will want to help. Let them. It can be hard to ask for help, but you need it now. Have people bring you food, walk your dog, whatever it takes.

As for the boredom, my friends were great. They brought me magazines, books, knitting, all kinds of things to while away the long days. I only ended up being on bedrest for about a month before I delivered, but it was a life saver.

[megs4413]

i've only got to make it 23 days on bed rest. they will let me off bed rest at that point and allow me to labor if it happens. i just really don't know how i'm going to get ready for a baby like this!

one problem i've run into right away is that I can't seem to remember to stay off my feet. it's hard when i want to get water or whatever to remind myself not to get up....did you have that issue?

[scoop22]

i don't have any recommendations, i just want to send my wishes to you and your family. i hope the next 23 days just fly. everything will get done that needs to get done. you take care of yourself and your little man.


http://b2.lilypie.com/XbITm4.png

[MommyAllison]

I haven't BTDT but a good friend was on bedrest for awhile and she had her DH make up a tray every morning of things she was likely to want throughout the day. I would guess that after a few days you would know what you usually need - could DH do something like that for you? I know it must be so hard! Hugs

Allison
Mama to DD 11/05

[spu]

Hi Megs,

I was on strict bedrest for 4.5 mos when I was pg with the twins, so I know how you feel. Though, I didn't have any other children to tend to (just our dog!)... but there's a fabulous site that you can check out and get all kinds of information and support - sidelines.org. I'm a trained volunteer sidelines bedrest buddy, and I've sponsored 4 other moms on bedrest throughout their pregnancies. As PPs said, the most important thing is getting through one day at a time and keeping that baby inside you one more day at a time. If you go to sidelines, they'll provide free email (or phone) support from someone who has been in almost the exact same medical/family situation as you. It's absolutely amazing.

For meals, that's going to be someone else's responsibility. You can do the planning, they can do the shopping and cooking... and prepare a cooler next to your bedside / sofa for a day's worth of meals/snacks for you and DD. Everything else (cleaning, etc.) can happen later on...

If you don't mind me asking, why are you on bedrest? Is it due to IC? or PTL? Do you kow how long you'll be on bedrest? There are other sites out there with support groups too. Here are a few books that may interest you:

http://www.sidelines.org/product.cfm/5/
http://www.sidelines.org/product.cfm/7/

As for what to do with your DD, maybe you could order some simple crafts and puzzles from Amazon that DD could do with you or by herself, or have someone run to Michael's or Target. I wish you the best in getting through each day toward a happy and healthy baby. I'd be happy to talk more if there's anything I can do to help you.


susan

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
nursed for 3 years!
http://sunger2.home.comcast.net/superpower.gif

charlotte + else
+ vinny! 2 weeks late! :)

http://bd.lilypie.com/u2jym5.png
http://b4.lilypie.com/Bmr5m5.png

[SnuggleBuggles]

I read the book "Bed Rest" (a fiction book about a career gal pg with #1 who winds up on bed rest and how she copes). It may be a book that could help you pass the time at least and maybe get a tip or 2.
http://www.amazon.com/Bed-Rest-Sarah-Bilston/dp/0060889934/sr=1-1/qid=1168134461/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-4416414-7333758?ie=UTF8&s=books

I don't have any btdt advice. I hope it passes easily for you. Take care!!

Beth

[egoldber]

I totally forgot, but there's a book called The Bed Rest Survival Guide that I found very helpful.

[bubbaray]

I've only had to do 24hrs of true bedrest with both PGs (post-amnio), and 6w of "house arrest" with DD#1 (I could walk around the house, couldn't walk out of the house or drive).

Good call on the reinforcements to help with your DD. My DD would NOT leave me alone after my last amnio. It was horrible. She didn't understand. Not sure what we would have done if I'd ended up on the house arrest restrictions this time, we have no family or friends to help at all. My peri wasn't too keen on me lifting DD at all with this PGy.

Meals will have to be done by your DH or family/friends. NO WAY can you stand or even sit to cook. If your family/friends are taking your DD out or she goes to daycare while your on bedrest, maybe your DH can bring you a cooler of food in the morning and you can eat that until he comes home? Also, I found drinking enough water challenging, so get a Nalgene or similar large water bottle(s) and that way you can make sure to drink enough.

What to do all day? Wow, I can relate to that. When I was on sickleave with DD#1, I couldn't read, watch TV or really use the computer because of my dizziness. It was boring! Maybe take up knitting?? If you aren't dizzy, you could read or watch TV or use your laptop. If its dizziness, honestly, it sucks!

Good luck! You can do it!!

Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[C99]

BTDT.

To echo Beth, you need to lower your expectations. I was on bedrest for 6 weeks from 28-34 weeks when I was pregnant with DD. DS had just turned 2. It was the hardest, most nervewracking and boring 6 weeks of my life.

DH worked from home at that time, so he got DS out of bed, fed him breakfast and got him dressed. DS watched a lot of TV/movies during that time. Also, we arranged short-term childcare for him. It was expensive, but DH needed to work and needed some dedicated time to do that. DS went to an in-home daycare provider for 5 hours/day 3 days/week. He actually knew the dcp and her son so he enjoyed his time there. DH then did a lot of his work in the evening after DS went to bed. One day/week, my MIL came in and took DS out to do something fun. On those days, she would also bring/make dinner for us and clean a bit.

My mom came up for a week and did fun things with DS, and stocked our freezer with lasagna, beef stew and other easy-to-reheat things.

DH did all of the shopping. I made a list and he bought it. He also made simple meals or freezer things. We ate a lot of BBQ chicken breasts, easy-heat rice and pop-it the the microwave for 5 minutes broccoli. Also, friends and family offered to bring meals and I took them up on it.

DH did all the laundry. He once lived on his own so, like the cooking, he knew how to do it - he just didn't always do the greatest job.

Our house was dirty, unkempt, untidy for 6 weeks. One of the first things I did after bedrest was to get down on my hands and knees and scrub my kitchen floor - I blame it on nesting, because I don't think I've done it since then. ;-)

I generally put DS to bed and down for his naps - I was allowed 1 revolution up/down the stairs. So he'd climb up the stairs, I'd put him down and then rest in my room before he woke up. We have a spare TV w/VCR and put in our bedroom, so we'd often watch a movie or play on my bed after he woke up. We took the rail off DS's crib so that I could do this, but his sleep really did deteriorate. He stopped taking naps, so he started going to bed fairly early to make up the sleep.

As for me, I was bored, bored, bored. I posted a lot here, read a lot, slept a lot, watched a lot of bad TV (I think I memorized all of the words to "Win a Date w/ Tad Hamilton!" which was playing on heavy revolution on HBO at the time). Occasionally people would come over to visit - I still remember when Pam (tiapam) from this board came over to visit me one Tuesday afternoon - it was the highlight of my week! I'd arrange lying-down playdates where my friends w/ kids would come over, entertain DS, feed us all, and then go home around naptime. I also signed up for a Sidelines.org e-mail buddy - someone who had BTDT w/ a child.

HTH

[Jenn98]

Megs,
I'm crazy tired right now, so this will be short, but my heart totally goes out to you right now. I was put on strict bedrest for 7 weeks with this last pregnancy. DD was 10 months old at the time. I will not lie to you. It was horrible. BUT, we made it through. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it did end. You've gotten some great advice here, but please feel free to email/pm me if you want to talk. HANG IN THERE. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

[nathansmom]

For fear of having my parenting skills questioned again I will not share details of how I managed on a public site. Feel free to email me if your interested. DS#1 was 17 months old when I went on bedrest at 13 weeks and I was on bedrest till week 34, although I cheated a few times and now regret it.

[megs4413]

thanks for the info Susan. I will definitely check out sidelines.

I don't know what IC is, but I think PTL probably stands for pre term labor and that is indeed why i'm on bed rest. I'm on bedrest for 22 more days and then i'm set free!

i'm not allowed to be alone with DD so we're having to find people to be here with her during the day...i can't pick her up at all and that by far is the hardest part so far cause she doesn't understand why mommy doesn't want to hold her.....

i may PM you this week! i'll know more tomorrow after my doc's appt. wish me luck that these last few days on bedrest have made the cervical progress come to a halt!

[C99]

IC = incompetent cervix. I don't think you have it - it's when your cervix opens up on its own, without ctx.

You can encourage DD to climb up to sit on your lap on the couch or bed, rather than picking her up from standing. I did this w/ my DS when I was bedrest and it was rough, but he got it. I am starting to this w/ DD now as a precaution.

[ColorBlue]

I haven't read through all the responses so forgive me if I'm redundant.

First you are not supposed to run the household!! Give that job to someone else. Enlist anyone and everyone you can, as a matter of fact make your husband enlist anyone and everyone he can. You need to lie in bed, and grow a baby! The more you focus on that as your main task the better off you will be. You haven't said but some husbands don't get it, they don't really understand, I know other women have had luck having their docs talk to their husbands about how serious this is. Basically he becomes a single parent for a while and has to act like he is fully responsible.

Reinforcements are great but you really need replacements. And by that I mean whoever comes needs to take over completely and not be there to "help out". Its hard to relinquish that role but for the baby and your sanity you need to.

When I was on bedrest initially I was in the hospital and that was great because I literally could not do anything. Very little guilt when you are not there. You may want to ask if that is an option. When I got home I stayed in my room and my dd visited me for about a half hour at a time, that was all I could handle. Whoever was there at the time just had to handle it. And trust me we had a boatload of people, my MIL , my aunt, my mom, my dad, my other aunt and my 83 year old grandmother all came.

As to the two year old, in a few weeks she won't remember this at all. ..you do her no damage whatsoever by being unavailable for a short time. Hope this helps and feel free to PM me.

Tracy

Mama to three girls, my big kindergartener Grace 11/01, and my babies Ella and Madeline 10/04.