How long do you let tantrums go on?

[Java]

DS is throwing a fit, kicking, screaming, crying. It's now reduced to the whining-cry and the occasional "I want to watch TV" scream. He's in his timeout corner and each time I come over there to talk it out, he starts crying and saying he wants to watch TV. I say no, then it starts all over again.

I'm letting him wind himself down. It's been about 8 minutes. I normally do a punishment TO for 3 minutes (his age) but when it's a fit throwing TO, I let it ride until he composes himself. Otherwise anything I say to him is drowned out by the crying and whining.

I'm wondering if I'm approaching this right and what everyone else is doing.

Thanks.

[pinkmomagain]

When time out is over I wouldn't talk about TV or the tantrum. I would simply calmly redirect him (without much hoopla) towards a new activity.


Gina


ps. If you would like to address TV or the tantrum, maybe bring it up another time when he isn't so emotional.

[tny915]

DD doesn't get timeouts, but I pretty much do what you do. When DD does something wrong and throws a fit, I leave her whereever she is and tell her that I'll come back when she's calm and ready for me. I don't gauge how long it takes for DD to calm down, but it's generally within 10 minutes. I check on her every few minutes to ask her if she's calming down. When she really starts to quiet down, I ask her if she's ready for me. Sometimes my checking on her stirs up her emotions more and other times she'll try to calm herself down and tell me that she's better and wants a hug. Then she's ready to listen to me and we can talk about what made her upset.

Edited to clarify

[ShanaMama]

I sounds to me like you have a pretty good handle on things.
Just wasnted to say that I *love* your siggie!

[Melanie]

What about instead of just saying 'no,' you tell him what he can do? That worked really well with Ds when we stopped the TV. I would say something like "We can't right now because we are going to do XYZ!" And then of course name something he really likes to do.

It worked like a charm.