WWYD-Changing Daycare-Sorry Long

[juliasmom05]

We are contemplating changing daycares and can't seem to decide whether the benefits of the new daycare out weigh the potential problems with transitioning DD to a new daycare.

Our current daycare was not our first choice, but the only one she could get into. Up until now, we have been pleased with the care that has been provided there. Recently, we have run into several problems including the daycare teacher not allowing DD to have her ST session because she was in the process of transitioning to the toddler room and other minor things like bringing a TV into the room and feeding DD popcorn and junk food on occasion. Overall DD is being adequately taken care of, but it is not much a learning environment if that makes any sense.

We just found out there is spot in the daycare that we originally had wanted DD to attend and are going to see it tomorrow. There is much less teacher turnover at the new one. At her current one, DD has had three different teachers since September. And the teachers at the new one seem more qualified as early childhood educators. DD is a highly sensitive and energetic child who has speech delays and I think would benefit from the training of the teachers at the new place. She's 21 months if that matters.

But, for some weird reason, I have an attachment to the place where she currently is and feel guilty about taking her out of there. Mostly, I worry about how she will handle transition to an entirely new day care situation and wonder whether it would be too difficult of a transition for her? Has any one done this and been happy with their decision? Anyone done this and been unhappy and regret their decision? Am I being silly for not jumping at the chance to switch daycares? I can't really figure out why this is stressing me out so much. We have to decide by next week whether we want the spot.

I guess I am just looking to hear other people's experience with this type of situation or else need someone to tell me that I am making too big of deal out of the situation and just go for it :-).

TIA, especially if you got to the end.

Marci

[kedss]

Hi Marci-

If you feel the new place will be better for your DD, then I would do it. It sounds like she has gone through a lot of transitions(i.e.the number of teachers she has had) already.

Try to think what would be best for your DD, and not to worry about what you can't control.

big hugs

[lilycat88]

If you like what you see tomorrow and have concerns about where she is now, I'd jump in a heartbeat. We've transitioned DD to new care providers at 15ish months and again at 26 months. She went from a small church daycare where she was as an infant to a "center" at my employer and is now at a center affiliated with a university nearby (they start at age 2 or we would have been there the whole time). I've cried every time we made the transition even though I was unhappy with what was going on in her current situation. As I look back on it, I was more attached to the good feeling about the experiences she had than being sad she was leaving. It's a strange attachment, I know the feeling.



Jamelin
Mom to Susanna born 6/29/2004

“We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.� --Unknown

[mommy111]

Marci, I transitioned DD from one daycare to another because I had to (moving). Initially, it was just like starting daycare again, she cried the first few days, I had to spend time at the daycare etc. Except second time transitioning was much shorter and she was completely OK in a week. So don't worry (useless to say to a mom!), if its a better daycare for DD, do it!

[JustMe]

Here is my story.

Dd was with the same dcp since she came home from Guatemala at ll mos of age. It was an in-home situation and I was mostly happy with it when she was a baby but as she got older some things were less than ideal for me. There was junk food served, no real behavioral expectations (which I had a problem with), movies watched, too much tv in general, etc. Still, I thought I needed to leave dd there as she was a very clingy child. She adored dcp, and that was the only place I could leave her without tears. She even cried when I left her with well-known friends. We have no family nearby, and I felt dcp was like an aunt to dd.

Too make a long story short (I posted the long version here when it happened), dd started coming home with bite marks. I know this kind of thing happens (I am in a related field), but dcp became livid with me asking questions about it and basically fired me (gave me 2 weeks notice) telling me she "didnt need this". I was terrified how dd would do in a new setting. Dd was now 3.5 and had been with dcp since ll mos (ever since she had been with me).

I told dd what would be happening and she merely said "okay". I was shocked and clarified if she understood she would not be going to dcp's house. She responded "Yes, I am not sad at you" (she mixes up sad and mad). So, she has been in her new daycare, a preschool, almost 2 months now. Dd was clearly nervous at the beginning, and we did have an increase in behavioral issues. She would do well there, and fall apart when I came to pick her up. That has evened off now. She has asked for dcp a couple of times, and once or twice expressed some really sad feelings, but she is doing great and getting so much more out of where she is now. I would not have changed her if this biting thing hadnt happened and if dcp hadn't fired me, but it has been the best thing for dd in so many ways.

I actually am going to change her again in the Fall if we get into the place that was my first choice. The two are very similar, but the other place is much more diverse and offers even more coaching with conflict resolution skills. Two things that I feel are very important for dd.

Long story short, from my experience I would absolutley do it.

Robyn
single mommy to an almost 4 yr old from Guatemala

[Twin Mom]

If you are not happy with your current situation, you should definitely switch her. Sure there will be a few bumps at the beginning, but I think it is almost easier for DC to adapt at such a young age. I think you will be happier in the end that you made the change.

Good luck!

[juliasmom05]

Thanks everyone :-). We are going to go see the new place this morning, and hopefully we'll like it. Everyone is right, I know. We do have issues with the current place at the moment. DH went to visit her in her new room, and the teacher kept telling him that eventhough they respected us, we had to understand that they knew what they were doing. Give me a break. Not a great way to start in a new classroom.

Thanks again.

Marci

[kimbe]

Hugs Marci! I hope that you really like the new place so that your decision will be a little easier! Everything will work out the way it should. Keep me posted! Good luck!

[juliasmom05]

Thanks Kim. I'm hoping so too. Have you guys thawed out yet ? :-).

Marci

[kimbe]

Finally! Still a lot colder than we'd like though. We are softies already!