My 4yo is a...spaz. Help!

[pampamz]

There. I've said it (and feel terrible!). Our DC is happy but excited and really can't seem to control his energy or focus, at times.

We enrolled him in some activities (swimming, soccer) and while he totally enjoys them he is off the wall when he is there. Bouncing around, not paying attention to the leaders and generally hay-wire.

He is a great kid but just has soooo much energy and such little attention span, it seems.

Any BTDT suggestions on how to get him to settle down and be able to focus more?

TIA!

[bunnisa]

Have you looked at the Feingold diet? I know lots of moms who've had success with it.

...blessed wife and mama to two!

"And children are always a good thing, devoutly to be wished for and fiercely to be fought for."
-Justin Torres

[brittone2]

Any chance he has some sensory processing issues? NAK but there should be some stuff on sensory integration and sensory processing in the archives. All of that input can make it hard for them to focus...bright lights, loud voices, the excitement of the game. Sometimes they can't focus because they can't filter out important/not important, neccessary/not necessary, etc.

Not a very good explanation-baby's a little fussy tonight ;)

[lizajane]

email me after jan 30. we have an appt with "project enlightenment." it is an educational and counseling resource in my town for kids preschool to age 6. i am going to meet a counselor about my almost 4 year old's:

hyperactivity -complete inability to sit still for even one minute- we do not EVER make it through an entire meal at the table. he cannot go to sleep on his own and rarely makes it through a night. wakes 95% of mornings sobbing hysterically.

high level of sensitivity, both physical and emotional- a good and bad thing. very attentive to tiny details many adults would never notice, including others' feelings. but at the same time, crying means sobbing hysterically soap opera style.

sensory seeking behavior- LOUD LOUD LOUD, touchy, climbing, running, jumping, you name it. always trying to find auditory, tactile and visual sensations.

finally, his giftedness and how i can teach him all the things that he is dying to know when he is unable to sit literally for more than 1.5 seconds without twitching, squirming, wiggling, bouncing, tapping, kicking, or standing.

[bisous]

No BTDT experience here but a little commiseration. My 3 yo is extremely happy and extremely busy. One thing that has helped me is to really observe what times he seems to focus the best and seem the most mellow. I've made a few observations that could just apply to my son or could help someone else out. The biggest thing for us is having a balance between down days and up days. Its funny because he seems to crave activity and loves going, going, going. Yet when we take a day to just stay at home and not have many planned activities he seems more mellow all around. I'm finding that he craves stimulation and needs calm and finding a balance has been really helpful. Also, being outside in an unstructured environment seems to really help. Going to the park, as opposed to a ball game for example with rules where he can just let it all hang out.

That's all I can think of for now. If I think of anything else, I'll add it later. Like I said, I think the key is observation. I'm looking forward to reading your other responses!

[bisous]

No BTDT experience here but a little commiseration. My 3 yo is extremely happy and extremely busy. One thing that has helped me is to really observe what times he seems to focus the best and seem the most mellow. I've made a few observations that could just apply to my son or could help someone else out. The biggest thing for us is having a balance between down days and up days. Its funny because he seems to crave activity and loves going, going, going. Yet when we take a day to just stay at home and not have many planned activities he seems more mellow all around. I'm finding that he craves stimulation and needs calm and finding a balance has been really helpful. Also, being outside in an unstructured environment seems to really help. Going to the park, as opposed to a ball game for example with rules where he can just let it all hang out.

That's all I can think of for now. If I think of anything else, I'll add it later. Like I said, I think the key is observation. I'm looking forward to reading your other responses!

[ca mom to 2]

You might try picking up the books Sensational Kids or the Out of Sync Child, and see if anything rings a bell. There was a thread in the lounge a within the last couple of months regarding sensory processing/sensory integration problems.

If he's sensory seeking, he needs x amount of activity before he can settle down and focus. The problem is that the "x amount" changes almost daily depending on what's going on around him, and makes your life really interesting. We were in a world of hurt with my oldest because while she was sensory seeking, she has really low muscle tone and literally wasn't coordinated enough to jump, run, etc.. The very things she needed to settle down she couldn't actually do. The Sensational Kids book really helped us a lot.

Cathy

DD 6 years
DS 2.5 years

[ca mom to 2]

You might try picking up the books Sensational Kids or the Out of Sync Child, and see if anything rings a bell. There was a thread in the lounge a within the last couple of months regarding sensory processing/sensory integration problems.

If he's sensory seeking, he needs x amount of activity before he can settle down and focus. The problem is that the "x amount" changes almost daily depending on what's going on around him, and makes your life really interesting. We were in a world of hurt with my oldest because while she was sensory seeking, she has really low muscle tone and literally wasn't coordinated enough to jump, run, etc.. The very things she needed to settle down she couldn't actually do. The Sensational Kids book really helped us a lot.

Cathy

DD 6 years
DS 2.5 years

[suzska]

Liza, I'm glad you have an appt. I hope you can get some answers to help you guys.


>sensory seeking behavior- LOUD LOUD LOUD, touchy, climbing,
>running, jumping, you name it. always trying to find auditory,
>tactile and visual sensations.

Okay, this is Evan. The kid is beyond LOUD. (And I've found that I'M sensitive to his loudness.)

We have been getting Evan wraparound services for about 1.5 years now, and I keep talking about Evan's sensory issues, and nobody seems to listen to me. Nobody (yet) has been willing to address his sensory issues. We just started with a new agency, so hopefully they will come up with some ideas that work.


Now I have to check the archives for the sensory stuff. I missed that....

[suzska]

Liza, I'm glad you have an appt. I hope you can get some answers to help you guys.


>sensory seeking behavior- LOUD LOUD LOUD, touchy, climbing,
>running, jumping, you name it. always trying to find auditory,
>tactile and visual sensations.

Okay, this is Evan. The kid is beyond LOUD. (And I've found that I'M sensitive to his loudness.)

We have been getting Evan wraparound services for about 1.5 years now, and I keep talking about Evan's sensory issues, and nobody seems to listen to me. Nobody (yet) has been willing to address his sensory issues. We just started with a new agency, so hopefully they will come up with some ideas that work.


Now I have to check the archives for the sensory stuff. I missed that....

[pampamz]

Thanks to everyone for the responses -- I will definitely take a look at all those resources.

He will sit and mellow out if their is a TV program on for him. He also will play quite nicely if DH or I are playing with him, and his school teacher says that he plays well with other kids. He is not so into sitting independently and colouring or playing playdoh or reading, unless he has someone doing it with him (read: me!).

I guess he only goes overboard if it is a free-for-all type activity (soccer) or if there is nothing structured or involving a one on one playmate. It makes it hard for me to get anything done during the day because if he doesn't have me as a playmate he gets unfocused and "bored" and starts getting ultra silly.

Thanks again for the BTDT!