Preschool tours - adults only?

[anamika]

Is this the norm? I always assumed they would want DD to come along - it sounds a bit un-kid-friendly to ask us to leave her home. This place was highly recommended by a few moms so I'm sure it's good but just curious why they would say no kids?
Of course, this leads to the dilemma of where to leave DD...arghhh!!
Choosing a preschool shouldn't be this hard!

[Beth568]

Hmm, I wouldn't be thrilled with that policy. I'm the membership director at our preschool, and we usually encourage parents to bring the kids along. We want to give the family a chance to see how the child will react to the space. Now - we do ask parents to keep an eye on the child during a tour, and we don't want to disrupt the class that's going on, but I agree that it seems odd to have parents-only tours.

[Roleysmom]

In my experience, that's the norm. Of the three private schools we checked out, including the one where DD now attends preschool, the open houses and tours were only for adults. At the school we chose, a couple of parents brought a child to the open house and they weren't excluded from participating, of course, but it did seem harder for them. It would be hard and pretty disruptive on a tour especially (which usually happens during school hours as opposed to an open house)to have a child there. There are probably other opportunities to bring your child to see if he or she likes it. The schools we looked at all had either play parties or one-on-one interviews with the parent and child as part of the admissions process.

Good luck with your search!

Paula

[chlobo]

One of the preschools (Montessori) had this policy. I believe it was because they allowed and encouraged the parents to hang out and observe the classroom. This would have been much more difficult if we had had DD in tow. It also allowed us to freely asked questions of the teachers & director.

[sarahsthreads]

We brought DD with us, and the teachers involved her in the activities the kids were doing while we asked questions. I can see how it would be easier to think of and ask questions without most of your attention focused on watching your child, though. Luckily for us the open house was during DD's nap so we left her home with her grandparents and I was able to ask a lot more detailed questions during that visit.

I would be really hesitant to visit a school for the first time without DD. I found it very valuable to see how she reacted to the other kids and the teachers (even though she'll be 8 months older when she actually goes there) and how the teachers interacted with her. I had my doubts about whether to send her this fall, as she won't quite be three yet, but after our visit I was sure it would be a good thing for her.

Sarah :)

[SummerBaby]

That was the recommended policy at the 2 I visited. I have to say it never even crossed my mind to take DD. DD gets extremely excited when there are new toys/kids around and she would have torn the classroom apart in seconds. I would have had to supervise her the entire time, rather than observe the activities that were going on. I guess it depends on your child's personality. Mine is way too curious and active to handle it at this point. It's kids like mine who are likely the reasons for these policies! :)

Val
Mom to Madeline
7/28/04

[tny915]

Of the four schools I visited, three were parent only. The fourth specifically asked that I bring DD, and it was a one-on-one tour. Having her with me did make it a lot harder to ask questions though.

We were accepted to and chose to attend DD's school without DD having ever visited there. DH and I spoke to directors of the schools we were interested in several times and got a good feel for the environment and the teachers without having to see DD's reaction to the schools. For my #1 school, which we luckily got into, we went to a tour, an open house, and spoke to the director and teachers at a preschool fair to make sure all our questions were answered. I know what type of environment DD thrives in, so I didn't think twice about the fact that she never saw the potential schools.

Good luck with the search! I know it's stressful!

[saschalicks]

OK let me tell you my experiences. I've been to one that was adults only, and one where kids were allowed, but not encouraged. The latter one a woman brought her potential pre-schooler. Well, she was in the middle of PT and the little girl was playing w/some toys in an empty classroom (OK'd by the director, our tour guide) and what happens she wets herself. So now kid is soaking wet, floor is soiled and mom is embarassed.

My point is although it happens and I'm SO OK w/that, it was very disrupting to our tour. I know most of the parents took time off of work to be there and the delay only meant more time off of work. I get paid hourly so it meant something to me. I'm not at all against having brought her child, but I do get why we (as parents) needed to really assess this preschool and focus on it. DH & I went together to these tours w/out DC b/c we wanted to really give it our 100% attention. This is an important decision to us, so we did what we needed to give it our attention. My mom watched the boys during the 2nd one b/c the boys weren't in daycare that day.

I know you didn't want my $.02 to be that long, but I really think for you it would be, if you can find care, a benefit to really focus on looking at the school w/out the distraction of a toddler. HTH

[ett]

Most of the preschool tours I went to were for adults only. It is more of a hassle to get someone to watch DS, but honestly I don't know if I'd get anything out of it if DS was with me. Going alone allowed me to focus on the tour and make sure I asked all the questions I wanted. Fortunately, most tours were first thing in the morning, so DS just stayed at home with DH until I got back.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I toured 5 preschools, all but 1 without ds.

Kids get to the schools and just want to play with all the new stuff and people. You are there to look at the space, ask questions, see how the staff is interacting with the kids at the school (which is better b/c you aren't emotionally involved so you can really just observe) and do things that you just don't need dc there for.

Just wait...you have to choose preschool then maybe elementary...then you have to stand back and hope they make the right choices with college or other future pursuits (that one may be even harder :)).

They will have open houses and such before hand, probably, where they can meet dc before school starts.

Beth

[hardysmom]

It never occured to me to take my kids on a first visit to a pre-school. That is the time, even if it isn't a group tour, for you to ask questions and get the feel for the place. It is your time to screen schools/teachers-- not watch DC play. Plus, pre-school is YOUR choice. You know your child and what type of environment is a fit. How he/she behaves in a new setting probably isn't much of an indicator of if she'll thrive long-term.

For example, what if one school have the worlds best-ever playground, toys, and a couple of kids DC really likes BUT the administrion seems really creepy and you hate the school's philosophy. So DC loves it (based on the slide) and you know there is no way you are going there...

OR you find a school you LOVE but, because you couldn't coddle DC in this new environment while asking questions/listening to answers she throws a big fit and is generally difficult. The administrator gets the impression that either your child has issues or that your parenting is off...

If you like it, you can always ask if you could come back with DC to see how she does AFTER you've seen it yourself. Every private school we've seen wouldn't have blinked at that request...

Stephanie

[JBaxter]

With out the kids is more of the norm around here. I think its mainly because its done while shcool is in session and having adults in the building is enough disruption let alone other children.

[Lynnie]

I just had one for adults only, but it was actually for kindergarden.

went to an adults only tour, then after I filled out the application, they scheduled interviews for the kids, where they were divided into groups of 3-4 and assigned to a teacher who led them around, showed them a few things, and gave them some sort of 3 minute evaluation. (all without parents so I can't be more specific)

[ilovetivo]

I've had 2 so far and both were with dd. One was one on one during school hours and it was no problem. I was able to ask a ton and pay attention to dd. I liked that the director got to see who she was too.

Today's was an open house w/ dd and it was crazy! Too many people, and it was during school hours. I guess for this one i would have liked it to be w/o dd. However, they didn't tell me school was in session, only that dd's class wouldn't be in session. Communication error.

I try to ask as much as i can on the phone and read their website thoroughly before wasting my time coming in. Some have wanted me to come in w/o much of a convo and i pushed the questions. Decided from their answers it was not for us.

[MarisaSF]

>I would have
>had to supervise her the entire time, rather than observe the
>activities that were going on.

That's why I was glad not to bring DD on my tours. I asked the director over the phone and she said parents often have better tours if they can ask questions and look around without DCs in tow. If they required DD to be there, I think it would have felt like an interview of DD and how we interact with her. It would have made me nervous.

I know that if I put her in a room with toys and books and teachers who won't smack her, she'll have a great time. After we find out where we have been accepted, I will take her to visit.

[s7714]

I haven't encountered any adult only places in my area, but I never asked, I just brought her along (and her sister if needed). No one ever said anything, and usually they invited her to join in whatever the class was doing for a few minutes if I wanted to observe. IMO a child should be able to check out potential preschools as well, because his/her reaction to the environment is important.

If it's a busy open house type event vs. a one parent tour, I can understand it being adults only though. Those things just get too chaotic.

ETF grammar

Jennifer
Mommy to
Miss Pure Energy 3/03
Miss Limit Tester 6/05

Our bones may be brittle, but our spirit is unbreakable.
Osteogenesis Imperfecta www.oif.org

[MarisaSF]

Did the preschool(s) you're looking at say "absolutely no children" on the tour? Or were they just encouraging you to come without DD?

I'd think the latter is normal for all the reasons cited above. I'm sure if you explained that you had nobody to watch her and needed to bring her, they'd be accomodating.

Good luck finding a school you're happy with! If you don't bring DD, trust that she will like wherever you think she will llike.

[o_mom]

I just brought both boys along to both places I visited. I was able to ask most questions ahead of time, had a few while I was there and then followed up with the one we wanted.

I have enough trouble getting a sitter for the times I really need them, let alone just to go visit a preschool. I certainly didn't want a place that I would not be allowed to ever visit because I had to bring other kids along.

[HannaAddict]

The norm around here seems to be adults only for the initial tour, then a second tour with the child and/or orientation time for the child to interact with the children and meet teachers. During one adults only tour, one family brought their child and it was somewhat disruptive. They actively supervised him, but the other kids in class weren't expecting a new kid and came over to see what was going on and the little boy didn't want to leave but wanted to stay and play. I don't know of any preschools around here that have you start cold turkey without your child being able to meet and interact with the teachers/children.

Personally, I prefered being able to meet the teachers and observe a class without my little one in tow. He would have wanted to play. I was able to get a sense of the school itself and ask the questions I needed to ask without him being supervised by myself or my husband. I also was able to cross a school off of my list based on my impressions without him being exposed to it. He literally asks about going to "school" at one of the preschools we visited but did not enroll in, he has a good memory. :)

I think it is actually a positive to have a parents only first meeting, as long as your child can visit in the second round.

Kimberly