If there were no obstacles in your way, how many children would you have (bio and adopted included)?

[Jenn98]

if there were no obstacles standing in your way (like money or fertility issues) how many kids do you think you would have? Would you have the time and/or energy to parent another child? Just trying to see if I'm crazy for wanting a "big" family!

[MarisaSF]

I'm not sure how to vote. I won't give birth to more than 2 children for population management reasons. However, DH and I plan to adopt our third (and fourth?) child.

I think we'll stop at 3. Four seems like a nice number to me. Definitely no more than 4.

[bisous]

I voted four. I'm hoping that I will actually achieve that goal but we'll see. I've always wanted four--no particularly good reason. My DH and I both come from families of 5 and I suppose I feel just "one notch" below being able to handle that many kids. That said, both of us are extremely close to our siblings. I think big families are great! :)

[kijip]

I guess it depends on if retaining my sanity or not is considered an obstacle. Sometimes I think I would love 5 or more but then again, that may be a sign that I have lost my sanity already.

[vonfirmath]

I wanted 12 when I was growing up. Unfortunately, I didn't get married until I was 30.

Right now, we're thinking 4. Then maybe I'll get to 12 through fostering...

[robinsonbn]

I voted 5 would be perfect but I always tell DH between 4 and 6 to which he says "ok 4!" I love big families as a kid I was an only child and wished on every star for brothers and sisters....when my parents divorced I got 2 1/2 brothers, 3 step brothers, and one step sister in less then a year.....talk about careful what u wish for :)

[Crunchymom]

I voted 4. I always said I wanted 3-5 children. Now though I think 4 would be good if we were able to afford it financially. I was an only child and always wanted a sister and vowed to never have just one child.

[JoyNChrist]

I voted "as many as I could" because I want 6. I've always wanted 6 - not sure why, but maybe it has something to do with being an only child and being really jealous of big families.

DH says 4 is his maximum. I say 4 is my absolute minimum. So it'll probably be four, unless I manage to wear him down at some point.

Of course, talk to me in April, and I may decide that being an only child wasn't so bad after all...;-)

[bchafin]

It seems funny to me how many people hated being an only child. I guess I am in the minority. I loved being an only child and always knew I would have just one. I hated the chaos at other houses when I'd visit my friends. They would always have to lock the door to keep out a brother or a sister. They were always fighting. Even now, the people I talk with say that they hated their sibling while growing up and it is only as adults that they love each other. I loved being an only child.

Barb

[hez]

When we got married we had an agreement for two with an option for a third. We're both from families of 3 kids, so it's what we know :)

[sarahsthreads]

I've always wanted four. DH and I both come from families with three kids and loved that experience, so that would have been our absolute minimum. But I like even numbers better. ;)

However, we had so much trouble conceiving DD, I'm already 31, and I don't want to have my children much closer than three years apart...so doing the math I think it's unlikely we'll have four. Not to mention, we have no idea if we can even have another in the first place.

So, although four was the plan, at this point I'm planning to let things happen as they will. I'd really like at least one more, though, either bio or adopted - not that I think there's anything wrong with only children, but I never pictured our family as just a family of three (if you don't count the two hairy dogs).

Sarah :)

[Moneypenny]

Just the one we have is perfect! Neither DH (one of 5 kids) nor I (one of 2 kids) have ever really had the desire for any more.

Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery
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[Pennylane]

I always said I wanted only one child, two at the most. Now that I have three though I would love to have one more. The larger my family gets the more fun it seems to be!

We'll stop at three though. I don't know that I could handle any more!

Ann

[mommyoftwo]

I can't really vote because none of the choices quite apply to me. If I could have, I would have had 4-5 kids. For health reasons (severe HG), I had to stop after Linnea. We are hoping to adopt at least one more but again it depends on my health (I have chronic fatigue syndrome). I came from a big family and enjoyed it. It will depend on my husband of course but we have already agreed to adopting at least one more.

[LarsMal]

Growing up I wanted four or five, because I am one of five and loved being in a big family. I think now I'd say 4 max, probably 3. I don't think I'll birth more than three, but DH and I have entertained the idea of adopting. I would love to foster children, but I think I'll have to wait until mine are older to do that.

[lilycat88]

My DH and I are both only children and we plan on having just one. We both enjoyed being onlies as well. That being said, as members of our already very small family keep getting picked off by cancer, I'm getting twinges of "we need to give DD a sibling so that when we're gone, she'll have some family". I'm sure it will pass and I can't really imagine our family with more than one.


Jamelin
Mom to Susanna born 6/29/2004

“We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.� --Unknown

[Piglet]

I can't vote - ask me after this one is born, LOL! We thought 2 was ideal until we had 2 and decided 3 would be great. Now that #3 is in the works, I am not sure what to say!? I would love to be done with the baby years sooner rather than later - I enjoy my kids more as they get older, call me weird that way, LOL! I think that if I could get a lot of house help/child care help, I could manage 4, but 3 seems like it might be it for us.

[maestramommy]

Hard choice! I voted 4, because I really don't think I could handle more than that. But we had 4 kids in our family, and there were times where it was pretty awesome fun! Everytime we went to some big social event where we didn't know anyone, we still each other to hang out with. Of course, the fights at home were pretty stormy, but that just comes with the territory I guess.

All that said, I don't necessarily feel I would want 4 if there where no obstacles, I just wouldn't want more than 4, IYKWIM.

[noahsmommy]

I think I'd have four. But only if I had a live in full time nanny and housekeeper. That way I could enjoy time with the 4 but have time to myself and DH. Your not crazy to want a big family...I know of a family with six and they want more! And they really are truly happy with all the craziness that comes with big families.

Ann

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[pb&j]

I voted 2. DH and I each have one sibling, that seemed about right to us. I'm more comfortable in small groups, lol. From a childrearing standpoint, I'd be okay with just one, but I feel it's really important for DS to have a sibling. DH's brother has kids, but they live very far away, and my sister has no kids. I want to make sure there's always family around, KWIM? Plus I think it's good to have somebody to fight with in the backseat on long car trips. ;)


-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/37124.gif

[DrSally]

I voted 3, if that includes having help, maybe even 4 then. I once saw an interview with Donald Trump, when asked about his impending (again) fatherhood he said, "sure, why not, having kids is easy if you have money". I'm not saying money cures everything by any means, but if I had a nanny and a housekeeper I would prob have 3-4, rather than 2, we'll see about 3. In my fantasy, you wouldn't have to worry about anything but spending time with your kids (housework, cooking, etc.), and you could even go to the bathroom by yourself if need be and not worry about being torn in 10 different directions b/c the nanny could fill in the gaps. Ahh, nice to dream.

[babystuffbuff]

We have yet to accomplish having one, but I voted four.

I am one of three, but since my baby brother was born when I was in college, I grew up as one of two. I always felt a bit lonely and wished I had more siblings. DH, on the other hand, is the second of five. I cannot overstate how much I love and adore his family. Spending time with them is great - it's wonderful to have so many people of my generation to talk to and get advice from, and just hang out with. They have always loved me as one of their very own, and I am sorry that I had to wait 23 years to experience that. The day I got married, I gained seven siblings (including spouses) and have since gotten one more when my last SIL got married this summer. That was one of the best parts of my wedding day. I want the same for my kids. I know that there is no guarantee that they will get along as fabulously as we do, but I can hope. :)

Sarah

Edited for grammar

[KBecks]

I don't know. Right now we're likely to stop at two.

Alek had his first Target meltdown yesterday (the kind where I considered abandoning the cart and walking out) and it occurred to me that with more than two children, it may have been much harder.

DH and I just had lunch and if we had started younger, we may have been liklier to have more. Four would be our true maximum, and we always said 2 or 3 when we married.

[icunurse]

In an ideal world where money wasn't a factor and we could have a big enough house for everyone, as well as starting a little earlier in age, I would have loved to have 5. We always planned to adopt whatever children we would have after 2 and, well, we had to move to that plan sooner than we thought. So, everything considered in our lives right now, we will probably only have 3 children.

[saschalicks]

I always wanted four. DH & I agreed on 3, but maybe four. After having to have c-secions my OB said no more then 3. I guess our minds were made up for us. DH & I have said that if money ever gets good for us we may adopt #4.

[Lovingliv]

I voted 4...but I wouldn't say "no more than". I was one of aeven kids...and it was like having two families...the older kids and the younger ones. I love having someone to call if I need something, or just want to talk and I actually have 6 "someones" to call. they are always there for me!

We will see when #2 gets here....but I am thinking around 4!

[lmintzer]

I would have 1 more for a total of 3. I don't know why, but I just feel a little hole in my heart stopping at 2. Although I think this is where we'll stop. DH wants no more--he's very sure about that. I know that I am up to my eyeballs with the two strong-minded, loud little guys that I have. But this is a "no obstacles fantasy," right? In my fantasy, I'd have a nanny, a cleaning person, and someone (maybe one of those people) who could help with meal prep. And my fictional 3rd baby would be easy-tempered. Now we're talking! : )

[egfmba]

Is a miserable pregnancy considered an obstacle? LOL! I would have stopped at the one if I had known this pregnancy would be this uncomfortable...

Seriously, though, I always wanted 3. I'll have 2 after this birth, but the third is up in the air right now.

eva

[nov04]

We were so blessed that dd1 is doing as well as she is after pg complications. We knew she needed a sibling and a specialist cleared us, saying our complication was a freak accident. I don't need to temp fate more than that. We're lucky.

[ShanaMama]

>Of course, talk to me in April, and I may decide that being an only child wasn't so bad after all..

LOL! I've always wanted a large family- voted as many as I can. That being said, as soon as DD was born, I told DH she'd be an only child.
Now I'm back to wanting lots of kids, just can't see myself actually swinging it.

[Melanie]

Would lack of a nanny, housekeeper and chauffeur count as an obstacle? LOL. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes it would be nice to have another pair of hands (especially at 4 am!).

Sorry, back to your poll...

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

Hmmm. interesting. Right now it's just the two and we're pretty happy. That said, I am the second of four and my dh is the second of two. My father remarried after my mother passed away and she had 3 children so I guess you could say that for the past 9 years i've actually been one of seven. Holidays are crazy for us, the houses are cramped and hot,there's too much food on the table to sit down to eat with your plate so extra folding tables get brought in. It's loud,hot,everyone's talking and eating and i love it. I'd love to have 2 more but I think dh would have a nervous breakdown.

There are days when i want another and days that i don't feel that i can manage the two that i have. we'll see next year how things are. I told dh that i didn't want to have children after i turned 35 so i guess we have to make a decision before then and i'm 33 now so we'll see what happens.

Dh loved being from a small family and the attention that he got. his sister is 5 years older than him. He sees my family and hears the stories of when i grew up and thinks that children from big families don't get the attention that they deserve. Now although my persepective is scewed from growing up with a mother who was terminally ill for the last 10 years of her life I still think we did pretty good and I know i can do a better job than she did.

in the end i think we'll stay small if for no other reason than money