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View Full Version : Does anyone ever still think about an ex-boyfriend?



kijip
01-31-2007, 01:26 AM
Think about? Sure. Lust after? No. Besides, I have one of my ex-boyfriends (my high school sweetheart) to think about and thank often for being making friends with and later introducing me to my husband. Yes, we were still dating when I met my would be spouse and yes, I ended my long term but not exclusive relationship with the high school sweetheart because I wanted his friend. :P

First loves are powerful. I don't think that remembering that makes you a bad spouse or anything. :)

Then of course I have a list of ex-boyfriends that I think about now and again and wonder "what the heck was I thinking?!" :)

VClute
01-31-2007, 08:11 AM
I had a couple of boyfriends who were absolute losers - would never have been good providers or reliable husbands - but each of them could tell me I was beautiful and sexy and smart without being prompted.

DH, on the other hand, while being a good provider, a responsible citizen and homeowner, and a great father, can't come up with anything nice to say to me, even if given five minutes to think about it... sigh...

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05
...and let the shopping begin!

A GIRL (!!) Due 3/30/07

elliput
01-31-2007, 08:35 AM
Yes, it is nice to reminisce a bit every once in a while. ;-)

newnana
01-31-2007, 08:42 AM
Depends on how you look at it. My high school sweetheart and I never even kissed. It was the perfect relationship for both of us because I wasn't interested in anything like that at the time.

DH and I met in college and he was the first guy I did anything with (yes, late in college and I'm a late bloomer).

Turns out my high school sweetheart is gay. We met again in med school and he recently moved to the city I live in. We talk all the time and he's one of my best friends. There are time that I think that if I was strong enough mentally, I would be a surrogate mom for him, but I just don't think I am. So yes, I think about him often.... but definitely not in any reminiscent sort of way!
Michelle

Marisa6826
01-31-2007, 08:50 AM
Absolutely. I even tracked one down via email to see what he was up to. He was my first serious, long term boyfriend. We lived together for the better part of six years. Even after we broke up, we ended up as room mates for a while. We both needed somebody to help with the rent, and we knew each other well enough. It was a pretty good arrangement. One thing that could be said about him was that he was always neat!

Anyway, he got divorced (I never DID think that girl was right for him!), and is now - get this - a minister!!! I really wanted him to meet the girls, but he said it would be too weird. Um. OK. Weird for who, I'm not sure.

Other ones, I have no desire to see or hear from. In retrospect, they were not very nice people.

Nothing like walking down memory lane, huh?

-m

icunurse
01-31-2007, 09:01 AM
Yep. I think it is because I spent a good deal of time with each of them and had a lot of feelings for them that natural curiosity just wants to know how they are doing. I had 3 boyfriends that I considered "serious" and those are the ones I tend to wonder about sometimes. The guy I dated in highschool was thought to be a loser by a lot of people, but I really thought he had potential. He contacted me via email a few years ago and he has really done well with his life! Another exchanges Christmas cards and the rare email with me every year (I met DH through hm, so it's all good!). Heck, a walk down memory lane is fun as long as it is done with good intentions! :)

pb&j
01-31-2007, 09:28 AM
I'm friendly with most of my ex-boyfriends, but I still know why we broke up! I married my best boyfriend. ;)


-Ry,
mom to Max the one year old
and my girl in heaven

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/37124.gif

Radosti
01-31-2007, 09:34 AM
I actually don't. It's weird, but there were some that hurt me tremendously and some who I couldn't stand because they fawned over me. Each time I think about my previous boyfriends, the only thought that comes to mind is "Dating all those guys is the reason I knew DH was my perfect mate in every way!"

I once got a call, a month before my wedding, from a guy I dated in my senior year in high school. He had already been married, had two kids and was getting divorced. And he was younger than me. I talked to him for about an hour and all he kept saying was that he was calling because I was his "perfect" relationship. I was flabergasted about how skewed things had become in his mind. He didn't remember all our fights (on more than one occasion he called me the "rich b**ch" because my family lived in a nicer part of town), he didn't remember me trying to break up with him before leaving for college without success, then calling it off over the phone. In his mind we had a perfect dating relationship and breaking up was a huge mistake.

I had enough of the conversation and eventually ended up hanging up after telling him that my wedding would proceed as planned. I never called him back and that was the end of that.

crayonblue
01-31-2007, 09:55 AM
DH was my first and only boyfriend! First holding hands, first kiss, etc. :) He, on the other hand, had plenty of ex-girlfriends and I hope he doesn't think of them too often!!!!

TaChapm
01-31-2007, 11:12 AM
I have wondered about this a lot. There was a guy I dated in High School for one summer. It was an amazing summer and we were eachother's first loves. Of course we both thought we were too young to know what love really was and we broke up because we were a long distance relationship. Over the next several years we remained best friends and would talk to eachother about our relationships. We really were the best of friends.

Fast forward to my wedding day. He had been in a serious relationship and had RSVP for them both to come. DH had no problems with him coming since we really had just been best friends for 5 years and hadn't been dating. So I was visiting with him before I was getting ready to go to the ceremony site and he professed his love for me and begged me not to get married. Of course I did. To make things worse during the garter toss he caught it!

I have thought about that conversation a lot. I love Jacob and know that he is the right one for me but I have always wondered what might have happened if we hadn't been so young back in the day.

Bottom line is first loves are very special and magical. It is a wonderful feeling to remember and there is nothing wrong with that. I think that kids and everyday married life can kind of make you miss that passion and excitement but it would probably be just the same if you had married your ex as well.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson 11-10-02
Tyler 6-9-05
& Baby Jaci 8-10-06

http://b5.lilypie.com/IV-Mm6.png


http://b2.lilypie.com/sJmVm7.png

http://b1.lilypie.com/EZwnm7.png

MeAndMyStar
01-31-2007, 11:21 AM
I still occasionaly think about my high school sweetheart, too. He still lives nearby and I wonder how he is doing, where he works, etc. I think it's normal.

I also think about a few other boyfriends and wonder what I was so attracted to in the first place, lol!

Just think, there was a reason that fish got away. It is nice to reminice, though...I'm big on nostalgia.

Globetrotter
01-31-2007, 11:24 AM
"I was getting ready to go to the ceremony site and he professed his love for me and begged me not to get married. Of course I did. To make things worse during the garter toss he caught it!"

WOW. I thought that only happened in the movies LOL

I am simply curious to know what my one former boyfriend looks like, who/if he got married, if he has kids, etc.... I only know what he does for a living and approx. where he lives! I would love to see some pictures, but have no desire to meet him. It was a very innocent relationship (my first one as I was a very late bloomer) but kind of sweet.

Kris

jayali
01-31-2007, 11:47 AM
I do think about him from time to time and for some very strange reason my first true love and I keep "running" into each other every few years.

We dated all through college, but broke up before we graduated. He was a good friend of my roommates, so we did run into each other every now and then in those post college years.

Now as adults, both married with kids, we keep having these "chance" meetings. When living in Atlanta (we are both originally from the NY area)about 20 years ago, he was sent down for six months to train for IBM. He stayed with us until his housing was ready because our apartment was literally next to his training facility. In 1993 when the WTC was bombed for the first time I got sent to a suburb of Chicago to work until we could get back into the building. He and his wife were living in that suburb at the time and we kept trying to get together (with his wife, we have never met even though I was invited to their wedding, couldn't bring myself to attend) for drinks, but it never worked out. About 5 years ago we ran into each other while at Saratoga with our friends. How strange is that? We were both there on the very same day and actually ran into each other? Then when I was in my last job, we were doing some major business with IBM. Turns out that my ex was the VP in charge of the area we were doing business with. So we e-mailed and phoned just to catch up with each other. Then I left my job and had my son and his Mom sent us a present when DS was born. She heard through my roommates family. Anyway, it seems like we are destined to be friends, which is fine with me. I really loved his family so am glad to be back in touch with his mom.

He was my first love, but my DH is my real and forever true love. I think that he and my ex would actually like each other if they ever met, but I think that might be too uncomfortable for me.

LarsMal
01-31-2007, 11:50 AM
I still keep in touch with my ex before DH, and DH still keeps in touch with one of his ex-girlfriends. The difference is that I email every now and then with my ex-boyfriend, just to catch up and see how he's doing, yet I've actually had to go to dinner with DH's ex-girlfriend (and her husband) a couple times. Kind of odd, but whatever- we're all adults and married now, so it's all good!

Ceepa
01-31-2007, 11:55 AM
DH is my best match: He and I are true partners who see marriage and life as a growth experience. With the others I tried to put on my best self and was scared to show the parts of me that needed work. Marriage is a pressure cooker that reveals our true selves, and from the beginning I've felt comfortable being me around DH. He's the love of my life.

-Ceepa

ETA: Still, thoughts of a certain person sneak into my head. :)

TaChapm
01-31-2007, 12:03 PM
Oh...I know! I couldn't believe it was happening. He even went to the band and asked them to play "our song". Luckily they didn't have it. He got pretty drunk and was telling my friends how he couldn't believe I was married. It turned into a pretty bad situation after we left for our honeymoon.

Needless to say we are no longer friends although there is nothing wrong with remembering the good times.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson 11-10-02
Tyler 6-9-05
& Baby Jaci 8-10-06

http://b5.lilypie.com/IV-Mm6.png


http://b2.lilypie.com/sJmVm7.png

http://b1.lilypie.com/EZwnm7.png

megs4413
01-31-2007, 01:31 PM
not usually, but an ex of mine passed away a few weeks ago and we went to the funeral...i had a really hard time dealing with it, but i think that's because we were really good friends post-break up and hung out a ton....but DH was uncomfortable with it once we were married (and i think my ex was, too) so we lost touch. i still saw him every once in awhile and talked to him from time to time, but we didn't hang out. i don't know why his passing was so hard on me, but it was very surprising for me and distressing to DH! I'm OK, now...I think it was just sad that I wasn't able to be around for him as a friend when he was sick, because of our 'history'. i really regret that...

if things come up that remind me of an ex, i think about it....i had one boyfriend who always ordered a certain thing from a restaurant so if we go there now, i think about it when i'm reading the menu...but that's pretty much the extent of my ex-thoughts.

katiesmommy
01-31-2007, 02:07 PM
I have two that I wonder about often. The first one I never even actually dated, but we were good friends that liked each other. When we were 16 he moved to Oklahoma and I haven't heard from him since. I often wonder how he is and what happened to him.

The other is a much longer story. He and I dated for about 6 months or so, but had known each other for several years. He went to a party one night, which I'm almost certain he cheated on me at, and called me the next day saying he needed "his space". I was devastated, I turned to my friend who is now my DH. Two months later he came by and wanted to get back together, I said no. He got pissed, turned around and started telling everyone that I had split with him and that I had broken his heart. Now all of the friends that I had that were also his friends, won't even talk to me, they all still think that I was horrible and hurt him. Whatever. Anyway, 3 months after that DH and I started dating, 3 months after that, we were engaged, and 3 months after that we were married. But I do still occasionally think about him and wonder how he is. Partly because I'm concerned about his mom who has MS, and had been in and out of hospitals several times the last time I saw him.

dr mom
01-31-2007, 02:42 PM
Sure I do; doesn't everyone? My first boyfriend (very innocent relationship) realized years later that he is gay, and lives with his partner in Atlanta. My first true love is happily married with two kids in Oregon. My first college sweetheart is divorced, now attending law school in Washington DC; we're still close, he came to our wedding when DH and I married.

I don't invest a ton of time or energy into these relationships, but I do enjoy keeping up with people that I was close to at a different time in my life, and exchanging an occasional email or phone call.

Of course, there are a few I'd rather forget...but ALL of them (the good, the bad, and the what-on-earth-was-I-thinking) just serve to remind me why I fell head-over-heels in love with DH in the first place. :)

MissyAg94
01-31-2007, 02:55 PM
I have one ex (my only other serious boyfriend besides DH) who had a really hard time getting over me. We considered marriage but things just didn't work out. I got an email from him recently "congratulating" me on my DD. The last line was "I thought you didn't want kids." Ouch...a little bitter still, are we?

dontdoit
01-31-2007, 03:50 PM
Maybe I'm "strange", but I broke up with my ex, and I regret it to a certain extent. Yeah, I would not have my wonderful boys, but my husband and ex are complete opposites and I wish for a mix of the two sometimes. My ex, for Valentine's Day, had gotten about 20 postcards of roses, sunflowers, etc. and on the back of each postcard wrote a reason why he loved me. These were spread out on the bed when I got home. Also, when we didn't have money at Christmas, he made me a poster-size collage for me, that he worked on when I wasn't home and hid under the bed. I broke up with him when I met DH, because I thought my ex was too sensitive and not "manly" enough for me. Now, I'm married to Mr. Unromatic and realize that "sensitive" wasn't so bad. Oh well, you live, you learn. I do love my husband very much though, in case you get the impression that I don't. I just feel once in a very blue moon that I made a mistake.

teddy
01-31-2007, 04:41 PM
I have 2 ex-boyfriends I am curious about but would never Google them. ALthough DH is very secure and knows I love him, I wouldn't want him to think I was pining away for either. One is from college who was getting his MFA in acting and has since had parts on TV and movies, but he is mostly doing stage work. One show he starred in came through my town and the reviews were very good, but I didn't think it'd be right for DH and me (or just me) to attend. I think it would have felt weird to us.

The second guy was a major crush who almost caused me and DH to break up. Thankfully I got some sense and realized that DH was much better, more solid, and much less egotistical!

Thanks for letting me think about them for a bit!

TraciG
01-31-2007, 04:43 PM
WEIRD you asked this question, because I've been wondering about the guy I went out with in highschool & years & years after ! I actually just found out some thing's about him, what town he lives in & that he's married & that he's asked about me ! This guy was a loser, he was abusive, I had no self esteem obviously to be with him so many years !

niccig
01-31-2007, 04:52 PM
There's one but it's more of a pride thing. We were friends and starting to get more involved, but he was about to travel for 6 months so nothing happened. When he came back he was seeing someone he met on his trip. They had a long distance relationship for a few months, but it didn't work. We then started seeing each other, only after he made it clear it was over with his ex. I didn't know they were still in contact, he told her about me, she got upset said she wanted him back and for him to come visit her. He promptly dumped me and planned to go to her in about 6 months. But for those 6 months he kept wanting to talk to me about everything, basically have the emotional relationshp he couldn't have with her as they had infrequent email contact. I eventually had to tell him to join the far queue. A year later they were engaged, and I was travelling and met DH, a year after that I married DH. I wonder if they're still together, but I haven't asked any common friends. As I said, it's my pride.

maestramommy
01-31-2007, 05:26 PM
Occasionally I think about the last ex before Dh. We don't move in the same circles but we have a couple of mutual aquaintances, so his name comes up. And I emailed him when I got engaged as a sort of closure thing. We had this sort of heaven/hell relationship so it was a few years before I could wish him well and think about him with no feelings whatsoever. He's happily married (as far as I know) with kids now, and I'm honestly happy for him, as there was a time when I doubted he'd ever be there. But I look at Dh and think to myself "Thank God."

gatorsmom
01-31-2007, 05:29 PM
ok, 'fess up. Does anyone, other than me, think about the fish that got away? I'm happily married, with a handsome, successful husband and 2 beautiful children but occasionally I think about my high school sweetheart. That, however, is the extent of it. I have never contacted him and never intend to. Ooh- maybe I'm opening Pandora's box here with this question.

I know some things about him because I went to a little high school in a little town and many of my classmates have remained friends. so, occasionally they tell me how he is doing (I haven't lived in that town for years but he is still there). They even say that he asks about me. When I hear this my heart skips a beat.

I feel guilty about how I still feel. Can anyone else relate to this? This is probably just a result of being a SAHM with severe cabin fever, but I guess I was just curious if this was a common phenomenon.

elaineandmichaelsmommy
01-31-2007, 06:12 PM
Don't think about high school boyfriend(late bloomer). mostly college boyfriends. One particular on/off one. Maybe it's the lack of mommy daddy games(as we call it). But he was definatly the best in that catagory and I occasionally look back at that and wonder when it'll be that good again. Guess i just miss sex before the kids.

saschalicks
01-31-2007, 06:47 PM
Yes and yes and yes. I even dream about him. He was my college boyfriend and things ended badly. He just decided it was time to break up and literally broke my heart in a million pieces. I love DH so much, but I still wonder if things would be different if...I guess it's human nature.

kdeunc
02-01-2007, 10:01 AM
Are we married to the same man?? ;)